My Wife Is Gambling

[Brewster67]

I don't usually air my dirty laundry in public, but I am getting rather concerned about my wife's new habit.

 

We have had a really tough year and have been hit with some quite large and unexpected bills which has significantly reduced our savings. Our funds are getting quite low in the bank, the lowest they have been for the past 10 years.

 

However, my wife has been playing this dodgy binary options trading site, which she has convinced herself that she is learning and getting better and it is going to eventually make her rich... I have tried my best to make her understand that this is nothing more than a coin toss, there is no skill involved and many of these binary option trading platforms are nothing more than scams posing as legit trading. But many have been caught out using software that manipulates the chart with false data to get your money out of you..... But to no avail.

 

We have had a few minor rows over it, but it came to a head last night when I demanded access to the trading account so i could review how much she has been throwing into this scam... I was literally on the verge of tears as i saw she started with a few deposits of $10, then $20 then $50 then $100 and $200 the classic pattern of a gambling addict. They start small, make some losses then push up their stake to try and win their losses back and end up deeper and deeper in the hole.

 

She has literally spunked away 1000s of $s over the past 2 months of money that we just can't afford to lose.... She lied to me, she constantly told me she was in profit... But the reality is we are heading down the crapper financially and i don't know if i can trust her to stop.

 

We have a few small businesses that gives us a decent living, but we can't afford luxuries like gambling cash and we have only just had our first child born 6 weeks ago... She should know this is so wrong.

 

I really am at my limit, I have threatened to leave her, but i don't want to walk away from my baby son... I have even tried threatening to get the police involved because binary option sites are illegal in Thailand... I really don't know what to do... She is out all day, she runs the businesses for us, and who knows what she is up to while she is out all day... I have demanded that all the money is put into my bank account, but I have to trust that all of the money is going there and not some of it into her bank accounts and opening up a second trading account to trade behind my back.

 

I really don't want to have to monitor her every action all day long, and i don't want to drag her family into it... I know how deceiving gamblers can be, my dad was a compulsive gambler and thus we never had much when we were kids, only gambling enforced poverty, I don't want this for my kids.

 

Any advice?

 

 

Edited November 22, 2018 by Brewster67

[fanjita]

11 minutes ago, Brewster67 said:

But the reality is we are heading down the crapper financially and i don't know if i can trust her to stop.

I feel for you both and the child.  There's so little support in LOS for gambling addiction that you're almost on your own.

 

I can only wish you all the best and hope that someone can provide a little support / glimmer of hope.  

[BritManToo]

Make sure she has no access to your money.

Stop investing in the business.

Don't give her your money for any reason.

(That also means paying all the household bills in person)

 

Sympathy for you,

but you can't do much to stop this madness, apart from limit your personal financial loss.

[Patriot1066]

18 minutes ago, fanjita said:

I feel for you both and the child.  There's so little support in LOS for gambling addiction that you're almost on your own.

 

I can only wish you all the best and hope that someone can provide a little support / glimmer of hope.  

Gambling seems to be an issue and these schemes as well. We have friend who’s wife wanted to make money like him but has lost a small fortune on bit coin and lite coin.

 

only thing is she did it to contribute not to deceive but it went wrong.

[fanjita]

34 minutes ago, Brewster67 said:

I have threatened to leave her ...

I love my wife and know that I couldn't leave her.  For better and for worse and all that.

 

If the boot was on the other foot then I know my wife would support and care for me.  That's obviously the underlying principle of marriage.  I married late in life, and just as well, as wasn't mature enough previously.  

 

You seem like a great guy and sure your wife is a decent person too.  It's a long path to recovery for your wife and sure you'll figure it out together in due course.

[Patriot1066]

3 minutes ago, fanjita said:

I love my wife and know that I couldn't leave her.  For better and for worse and all that.

 

If the boot was on the other foot then I know my wife would support and care for me.  That's obviously the underlying principle of marriage.  I married late in life, and just as well, as wasn't mature enough previously.  

 

You seem like a great guy and sure your wife is a decent person too.  It's a long path to recovery for your wife and sure you'll figure it out together in due course.

Hopefully you can but please try to avoid her loosing face she may have carried on to try to get back what she lost so she didn’t loose face?

[AlexRich]

Binary option trading is a well known scam, and even those that have tried to collect on their winnings have found that they can’t access them. She needs to stop immediately. Thai’s can be incredibly reckless at times, thinking only of today. Good luck. 

[BritManToo]

12 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

(That also means paying all the household bills in person)

You'll need to check all the business expenses are being paid as well.

Else she'll run up debt on the business.

[Brewster67]

10 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Make sure she has no access to your money.

Stop investing in the business.

Don't give her your money for any reason.

(That also means paying all the household bills in person)

 

Sympathy for you,

but you can't do much to stop this madness, apart from limit your personal financial loss.

I have demanded all the money from the businesses be immediately put into my bank account, she has no legal access to it although she does know my online banking logins, however she would know I would challenge any withdrawals... But she is a very good accountant, and i know how far a gambling addict will go to cover up their habit, and that would include creative accounting and diverting a % of the funds to her own bank account.

 

With regard to investing, I don't need to invest any more. I already invested in equipment and setup costs to the tune of about 400K a few years back, and those business have made back at least a couple of million and continues to provide us with a fairly comfortable albeit modest existence.

[Odysseus123]

I had a bit of a problem with my wife and M-i-L (Cambodian casinos) but,thankfully,they did stop once the money was cut off.

 

Stop the money (and credit if practicable) immediately.

 

Never facilitate an addict.It is the road to perdition.

[Ned]

This will end with you and your child penniless and your wife behind bars.

 

[Lacessit]

Cut off all her funds - now. Change all your passwords to any accounts. She needs tough love.

 

[Brewster67]

2 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Cut off all her funds - now. Change all your passwords to any accounts. She needs tough love.

 

She needs funds to operate our businesses and I can't take over because unfortunately she is the one with all the skills. I will certainly be keeping an eye on the business accounts though, I have a fair idea what money should be coming in every week.

 

[rumak]

7 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Cut off all her funds - now. Change all your passwords to any accounts. She needs tough love.

 

pretty blunt.    but have to say i agree.   an addict will do anything to continue.   you can try to talk with her

(i'm sure you do)........... but like L says, tough love is the only kind that has a chance

[RickBradford]

Gamblers, like alcoholics, drug users and other addicts are very cunning at getting their 'fix'.

 

They are also completely untrustworthy - they are no longer in charge, the addiction has taken over.

 

So their words are completely untrustworthy; their actions will prove that.

 

Ring-fence as many assets as you can, and try and find some help for your wife, if not at a medical facility, then maybe even at a temple.

 

In any case, the answer is going to be neither quick nor easy. 

[NotYourBusiness]

Take care your house documents if any.

[Lacessit]

2 minutes ago, Brewster67 said:

She needs funds to operate our businesses and I can't take over because unfortunately she is the one with all the skills. I will certainly be keeping an eye on the business accounts though, I have a fair idea what money should be coming in every week.

 

You may have to sacrifice the businesses temporarily to get her to listen.

[Odysseus123]

Just now, Brewster67 said:

She needs funds to operate our businesses and I can't take over because unfortunately she is the one with all the skills. I will certainly be keeping an eye on the business accounts though, I have a fair idea what money should be coming in every week.

 

Hmmm..

 

Best of luck.

 

I once knew an alcoholic who,under close scrutiny,filled up the windscreen wiper bottle with vodka..

 

No scrutiny is ever close enough if you do not shut it down.

 

Anyway..enough from me.

[Pattaya46]

Check on the trading website she uses. Some of them have an "anti gambling addict" policy and they allow you to FORBID yourself to trade on their website.

[BestB]

What you need is to find a Thai , with a status such as a lawyer or a doctor to confirm this binary trading is a scam .

 

once she hears from a Thai with a status , she will stop. Until then she will go on and on. If you get all the money, she will go borrow it.

Edited November 22, 2018 by BestB

[Patriot1066]

14 minutes ago, RickBradford said:

Gamblers, like alcoholics, drug users and other addicts are very cunning at getting their 'fix'.

 

They are also completely untrustworthy - they are no longer in charge, the addiction has taken over.

 

So their words are completely untrustworthy; their actions will prove that.

 

Ring-fence as many assets as you can, and try and find some help for your wife, if not at a medical facility, then maybe even at a temple.

 

In any case, the answer is going to be neither quick nor easy. 

Yes or you could loose anything and watch loan sharks as they may lend and you won’t know until you get a vist late one night!

[Ctkong]

1 hour ago, Patriot1066 said:

Gambling seems to be an issue and these schemes as well. We have friend who’s wife wanted to make money like him but has lost a small fortune on bit coin and lite coin.

 

only thing is she did it to contribute not to deceive but it went wrong.

It all started with a good intention to contribute but sadly they are really not equipped with the necessary skills to do that. Option is to limit your losses .control what you can and hope for the best  what you can’t. 

[totally thaied up]

57 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

I had a bit of a problem with my wife and M-i-L (Cambodian casinos) but,thankfully,they did stop once the money was cut off.

 

Stop the money (and credit if practicable) immediately.

 

Never facilitate an addict.It is the road to perdition.

I worked Casinos in a previous life (and saw addiction at its worst).  Your wife is going to lose just about everything if you don't give some hard love now and teach her that this type of trading is a scam. I have seen sane people trading ordinary call/sell options and lose everything. You need to cut off all funding and count just about every penny you have. I would, in fact, be watching her do the banking in front of you.

 

I am so sorry you are going through this. I use to watch older ladies come in with there pensions to the slots and within an hour or in some cases, 15 minutes, burn the weekly check. Some people I must tell you are more inclined to gamble and once they get the 'bug', it is hard to stop. You may have to even stop the business and let it take a hit to knock a bit of sense into her, like showing this is affecting all your lives.

 

You're in a hard place. Cutting the money now might save everything in the future. In 2008, I took a massive haircut and I am only getting it back together now and that is something you do not want to do. My previous wifes' mother lost the house in the Philippines to gambling and they never got it back but they still kept on gambling.

 

 

Edited November 22, 2018 by totally thaied up

[marqus12]

stupid cow 

I have a similar type, I keep her without money and working

[Psimbo]

I'd be more surprised by a 'My Wife is NOT Gambling' thread.

[fanjita]

7 minutes ago, marqus12 said:

stupid cow 

Can happen to anyone of any nationality.  Sucked in and hard to control thereafter.  Be nice. 

[Patriot1066]

29 minutes ago, fanjita said:

Can happen to anyone of any nationality.  Sucked in and hard to control thereafter.  Be nice. 

Yes I’m the UK massive problems not just a Thai issue at all

[Patriot1066]

1 hour ago, BestB said:

What you need is to find a Thai , with a status such as a lawyer or a doctor to confirm this binary trading is a scam .

 

once she hears from a Thai with a status , she will stop. Until then she will go on and on. If you get all the money, she will go borrow it.

Possibly very true and worth a try at least?

[Myran]

2 hours ago, NotYourBusiness said:

Take care your house documents if any.

My thoughts exactly. Be very vary of loan sharks once you start to plug the holes she can divert money through.

[Patriot1066]

3 minutes ago, Myran said:

My thoughts exactly. Be very vary of loan sharks once you start to plug the holes she can divert money through.

It’s very hard to deal with isn’t it so much room for issues