Popular Post ballpoint Posted October 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2021 I told a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts. "Really?" she said, "Go on then...try." After about thirty seconds of fondling she lost patience and demanded "Come on, what day was I born?" “Yesterday." I replied. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted October 28, 2021 Share Posted October 28, 2021 Get time off work with depression by going to the doctor while wearing a Man United shirt. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted October 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2021 I now have a wooden desk and a blackboard in my lounge. My wife asked me to make the room look classy. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted October 28, 2021 Share Posted October 28, 2021 I finished with my 1st girlfriend because she continually counted. I often wonder what she's up to now? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted October 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2021 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted October 28, 2021 Share Posted October 28, 2021 I've just ordered a chicken and an egg from Lazada. I'll keep you posted. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted October 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2021 Would a jurisprudence fetishist get off on a technicality? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted October 28, 2021 Share Posted October 28, 2021 Who will take the second shot of this snooker game? Find out after the break. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted October 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2021 I went to a restaurant for lunch They had a nice traditional menu. Rectangular and laminated, just the way I like it. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted October 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2021 My mate is called Dave Twokegs. That's a double-barrel surname. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted October 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2021 Before the 'Iron Age' was everything creased? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted October 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2021 Me; Whenever I get mad at you, you never seem to get upset How do you manage to control your temper ? Wife; I just go and clean the toilet Me; How does that help ? Wife; I use your toothbrush 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted October 28, 2021 Share Posted October 28, 2021 (edited) 4 hours ago, overherebc said: That is so scary. Just to think they could probably vote as well. It's worse as they could now be in the Senate or.................................(insert as required!) Edited October 28, 2021 by fangless 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ravip Posted October 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2021 5 hours ago, Crossy said: Yes, it's a real product! Yes, people bought them! Yes, people actually used them before returning their rented DVDs! Not helped by places like Blockbuster putting "Please Rewind" stickers on their DVDs. EDIT It gets worse, there was even an online service. Cost a dollar US, and people paid! Digital Velocity wanted to rewind your DVDs for you. Just enter your credit card information on their website (Just $1 per DVD), then insert the DVD into the CD tray of your computer, and fifty-nine seconds later your DVD will be rewound. Gives me the bright idea of making a USB flash drive re-winder. 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post overherebc Posted October 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2021 (edited) 3 hours ago, ravip said: Gives me the bright idea of making a USB flash drive re-winder. I now have an idea for Xmas presents for a couple of people. Thanks. ???? Edited October 28, 2021 by overherebc 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted October 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2021 (edited) 54 minutes ago, overherebc said: I now have an idea for Xmas presents for a couple of people. Thanks. ???? You wouldn't be trying to wind them up now would you! Edited October 28, 2021 by fangless 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Popular Post fangless Posted October 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2021 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted October 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2021 A sad reflection on our times! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Popular Post ravip Posted October 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2021 Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday, and the priest almost fell down in shock when he saw him. After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to attend Mass. What made ya come?" Murphy said, "I gotta be honest with you, Father. A while back, I misplaced me hat and I really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had one just like it, and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take his hat off during Mass, and I figured he would leave it on a hook at the back of the church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat." Later, the priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?" Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all." With a tear in his eye the priest said, "So, after I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell?" Murphy shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery', I remembered where I left me hat." 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ravip Posted October 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2021 Don't you just hate it when you're sending a text, and you’re so rudely interrupted by a stupid jogger, bouncing off your windscreen? 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ravip Posted October 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2021 A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking, and pointed it at the ceiling. 'Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!' he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. 'Alright, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!'1 Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, 'Hey there partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?' The cowboy turned back and said, 'I had to walk home.' 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted October 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2021 2 hours ago, fangless said: et tu fangless? 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post roo860 Posted October 29, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 29, 2021 3 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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