Beachcomber Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth. Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beachcomber Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 What has more lives than a cat? A frog, because it croaks every day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beachcomber Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 What did the policeman say to his belly button? You’re under a vest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beachcomber Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 Went to KFC the other day and had 12 chicken pieces It was on my bucket list!! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beachcomber Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic. He said, “Go ahead, knock yourself out.” 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beachcomber Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 I've just joined a dating site for arsonists..... I've been sent a lot of matches. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beachcomber Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 What do you call a dog with no legs? – It doesn’t matter, it still won’t come when you call 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beachcomber Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 Guy on the dance floor asks the girl dancing next to him" Here, have you got holes in your Knickers"? "No, certainly not said the girl' . He replied " Well how do you get your legs through!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beachcomber Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 A tourist was wandering around Chinatown when he saw a sign above a shop saying "Han Olafson Chinese Laundry". He was curious and entered the shop, to find an old Chinese man inside. He asked the old man about the name of the shop, and the man replied, "I'm Hans Olafson." "But you're Chinese, how did you come by such a name?" the toourist asked. The old man explained: "When I came to America 50 years ago, on Ellis Island, they asked us our names. I happened to be standing behind a Norwegian man. When they asked him his name, he replied that he was Hans Olafson. When my turn came, they asked me my name, I said I was Sam Ting. That's how I became Hans Olafson." 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beachcomber Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 The amount of people who don't know the difference between to and too… Is two damn high! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beachcomber Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 The art teacher asked the class of children to do a picture representing the word ‘panic’. The art teacher asked the children to use their imaginations. Which they did , some paintings were really good ,there was a picture of a stormy night at sea where a large sail ship had founded onto rocks during the storm ,and the lifeboat that had come to their rescue couldn’t quite reach them ,and you could see the panic in the captain’s eyes fearing for the safety of his crew. Another picture showed a burning building where a man is trapped on a wooden ledge that was at the top of the building , when the fireman’s ladder could not reach the high ledge, and you could see the panic in the man’s eyes. Then the teacher came across an odd picture , in fact it wasn’t a picture at all ,just a large ‘X’. Billy , she called please could you explain the meaning of this picture? Billy told the teacher that he had three teenaged sisters and each month on a calendar in the kitchen there would three X’s . This month there was only two ,………………………And you should see the panic in our house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobandyson Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 14 hours ago, sanuk711 said: . Iran Maiden sounds a better name. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorriedNoodle Posted August 7, 2022 Share Posted August 7, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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ballpoint Posted August 7, 2022 Share Posted August 7, 2022 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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