Worst Joke Ever 2024

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[Zyxel]

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[Zyxel]

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[Zyxel]

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[Zyxel]

[overherebc]

47 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

These were designed to spin loose rivets in place until you died of boredom.

[Crossy]

[Crossy]

*BREAKING NEWS*

There was a Fire in a Brothel.

Some came out Running.

Some ran out Coming!!

 

Fetching my coat!

[overherebc]

4 hours ago, overherebc said:

These were designed to spin loose rivets in place until you died of boredom.

These are for starting the rounding of a bolt head.

[overherebc]

5 minutes ago, overherebc said:

These are for starting the rounding of a bolt head.

These are for completing the rounding of the bolt head.

[DezLez]

1 hour ago, Crossy said:

Fetching my coat!

Might be better if you fetch your trousers/pants when escaping from a brothel raid!

[DezLez]

On 9/19/2022 at 11:30 AM, ballpoint said:

I assume they are all "dog eared"!

 

PS;  Do they paws before reading/turning the next page?

[DezLez]

 

Ok, I'll get my lead/leash!

[DezLez]

[DezLez]

A chicken goes into the library, walks up to the librarian, and says, “Book.”

The librarian says, “You want a book?”
“Book.”
“Any book?”
“Book.”
So the librarian gives the chicken a novel and off it goes. An hour later the chicken comes back and says, “Bookbook.”
The librarian says, “Now you want two books?”
“Book-book.”
So she gives the chicken two more novels. The chicken leaves but again comes back later.

“Book-book-book.”
“Three books?”
“Book-book-book.”

So the librarian gives the chicken three books, but she decides she’ll follow the chicken and find out what’s going on. And the chicken goes down the alley, out of town and toward the woods, into the woods and down to the river, down to the swamp, and there is a bullfrog. The chicken sets the books down by him.

The bullfrog looks at the books and says,

 

 

“Reddit…Reddit…Reddit…”

[DezLez]

1 hour ago, overherebc said:

These are for completing the rounding of the bolt head.

Two English men and an Irish man are in a bar.

The first English man says "I think my wife is cheating on me with an electrician, I found a pair of pliers under our bed."

The second English man says "My wife is cheating on me with a plumber, I found a pipe under our bed."

The Irish man looks at both English men and says "Well my wife is cheating on me with a horse. Last night I found a jockey under our bed."

Edited September 20, 2022 by DezLez
spelling

[Crossy]

Not new, but who cares?

 

Hello?”

“Hi honey this is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?”

“No Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.”

After a brief pause, Daddy says, “But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul.”

“Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.”

Brief Pause.

“Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.”

“Okay Daddy, just a minute.”

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. “I did it Daddy.”

“And what happened honey?” he asked.

“Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all!”

“Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?”

“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I he isn’t moving either.”

Long Pause

Longer Pause

Even Longer Pause

Then Daddy says, “Swimming pool? Is this 486-5731?”

 

[ballpoint]

59 minutes ago, DezLez said:

Might be better if you fetch your trousers/pants when escaping from a brothel raid!

Only if the part warrants it.

[DezLez]

[ballpoint]

57 minutes ago, DezLez said:

I assume they are all "dog eared"!

 

PS;  Do they paws before reading/turning the next page?

To tell the truth, they all find it ruff going.  It's working out better than the library for frogs I opened though.  They just looked at the books and said "read it, read it".

 

Alright, I hope I don't fetch Crossy's coat by mistake.

[DezLez]

1 minute ago, ballpoint said:

Only if the part warrants it.

You don't need a warrant to search my parts in a brothel, just a wallet!

[DezLez]

The boss went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls.

She was wearing a fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

 

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin,

 

"For best results, put on two coats ".

Edited September 20, 2022 by DezLez