Worst Joke Ever 2024

[chickenslegs]

3 hours ago, ravip said:

Don't invite me to your place on Christmas Eve.

[still kicking]

[still kicking]

[still kicking]

[ravip]

6 hours ago, chickenslegs said:

Don't invite me to your place on Christmas Eve.

What if I call it in its generic name - Saturday ?

Edited December 7, 2022 by ravip

[ravip]

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland.

 

She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked:

"Excuse me, Father, could I ask a favor?"

 

"Of course my child, What can I do for you?"

 

"Here is the problem, I bought myself a new sophisticated hair remover gadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?"

 

"Of course, I could, my child, but you must realize that I can not lie."

 

"You have such an honest face Father, I am sure they will not ask you any questions", and she gave him the 'hair remover'.

 

The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presented himself to customs he was asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

 

"From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son", he replied.

 

Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked, "And from the sash down, what do you have?"

 

The priest replied, "I have there a marvelous little instrument designed for use by women, but which has never been used."

 

Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said,

 

"Go ahead Father. Next!"

[ravip]

[ravip]

[ravip]

[ravip]

Last night, a woman carrying a chopper went to a cinema fuming.

 

The security guard stopped her and asked her what she was there for.

She replied angrily... my husband's inside the cinema with his girlfriend celebrating Lovers Day. I am going to teach him a lesson.

The Security guard said, it's very dark inside. You will not be able to find him. Better wait outside the door and catch him on his way out.

 

The Woman agreed.

Meanwhile security guard asked the operator to flash a message on the screen.

 

Woman with chopper outside the door. Looking for husband watching movie with girlfriend.

You are advised to leave quietly via the side door.

Half the audience left immediately.

[ravip]

[ravip]

[VocalNeal]

^ The correct response to most AN posts????

[carlyai]

20 minutes ago, VocalNeal said:

^ The correct response to most AN posts????

^

[dcsw53]

[dcsw53]

[dcsw53]

[dcsw53]

[roo860]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[carlyai]

A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster.

As soon as he brings him home, the young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmer’s hens.

The farmer is impressed.

At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens.

The farmer is not just impressed anymore, he is worried.

The next morning, not only is the rooster screwing the hens but he is screwing the turkeys, ducks even the cow.

Later, the farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, limp as a rag, his eyes closed, dead and vultures circling overhead.

The farmer runs out, looks down at the young rooster's limp body, and says:

"You deserved it, you horny b*stard!"

And the young rooster opens one eye, points up at the vultures with his wing, and says,

“Shhhh! They are about to land!"

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

Merry Christmas.

[GarryP]

1 minute ago, ballpoint said:

With there being no Alaskan crabs to catch this year, they're going to have to come up with something different. How about "What did you catch in Pattaya?"

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]