Worst Joke Ever 2024

[Andrew Dwyer]

[teacherclaire]

LOS(T) logic. 

[teacherclaire]

I like Somchai. Somchai knows it all. He went through the best possible education. 

[roo860]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

“Now don’t forget,” said mother as her daughter went out on her first date, “say no to everything he suggests.” 
Later on in the evening after they’d been out to dinner he turned to her and asked,

“Do you mind if we go back to my place for a cup of coffee and a bit of sex?” 
 

[fangless]

Did you hear about the young girl who swallowed a pin when she was 10 and said as a result she had never felt a <deleted> until she was 29? 

I didn't believe her either!

[fangless]

Overheard in a parked car down lover’s lane:
“Suck, suck, Emma…blow is just a figure of speech.” 
 

[fangless]

There’s a badminton competition at the local leisure centre and a young man, seeing a girl sitting all on her own, decides to go and ask her if she would like to team up with him for a doubles match.

Much to his astonishment she yells at the top of her voice, “How dare you. No I will not join you for a quickie in the back of your car!” 

The room falls silent and all eyes are turned to the young man who shuttles away totally embarrassed and humiliated. 

Ten minutes later the girl approaches him full of apologies and explains that she is experimenting with people’s reactions to different situations as part of her thesis on human behaviour.

 

As she finishes talking he exclaims very loudly,

“£200! You’ve got to be joking, I've had it free from both your mother and your sister.” 

 

 

Edited December 11, 2020 by fangless

[roo860]

[GarryP]

On 12/9/2020 at 9:22 PM, fangless said:

BREAKING NEWS Thieves have allegedly broken into the laboratory at Pfizer to try and steal the new Covid-19 vaccine...

They apparently took a case of Viagra instead.

The police are looking for a group of hardened criminals.

As much as that is a joke, I really did read the news the other day that a factory producing generic drugs mixed up the bottling of an anti-depressant and an erectile dysfunction drug. The batches of medicines have been recalled. You can't make this sh*t up. So now there are some people who are as hard as nails but sad about it,  while others are still soft but couldn't care less.  

[fasteddie]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

Edited December 12, 2020 by ballpoint

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

A British tourist in Italy was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking in single file. The tourist couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said:

"I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral, is it?"
"My wife's."
"What happened to her?"
"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"
“My mother-in-law. She came to help my wife and the dog turned on her and killed her also."
It was a very poignant and touching moment of British and Italian brotherhood...  Silence passed between the two men.
The British man then asked "Can I borrow the dog?"
The Italian man replied, "Get in line."

[Andrew Dwyer]

Someone spiked Santa’s milk and cookies me thinks !!

 

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If you could choose just one superpower for yourself, what would it be?

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