Popular Post Peter Denis Posted January 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted January 8, 2021 US has gone bananas > Due to travel restrictions, the United States had to organize a coup locally this year. 3 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted January 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted January 8, 2021 The California D.O.T found over 200 dead crows on California Highways recently and there was concern that they may have died from the Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows and, to everyone’s relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis, it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the birds’ beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues, it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed from impact with motorbikes, while only 2% were killed by cars. The Agency then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorbike kills versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviorist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout “Cah”…not a single one could shout “Bike”! 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted January 8, 2021 Share Posted January 8, 2021 I stopped at one of these roadside cafe's recently. There was sign offering Lobster Tails for £5 so I handed over my fiver and the guy said "Once upon a time there was this lobster...." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted January 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted January 8, 2021 A hawk, lion and skunk were having a debate over who was the best. Hawk: I can fly & have the best sight. Lion: I'm the king of animals. Skunk: I don't have to fight. A crocodile came & swallowed all of them. Hawk, Lion & Stinker. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted January 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted January 8, 2021 I bought a stairlift the other day which turned out to be faulty. It's been driving me up the wall. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted January 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted January 8, 2021 A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts! 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted January 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted January 8, 2021 My wife just accused me of ruining her birthday It can't have been me, because I didn't even know it was her birthday. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ravip Posted January 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted January 8, 2021 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post roo860 Posted January 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted January 8, 2021 VID-20210107-WA0017.mp4 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Popular Post roo860 Posted January 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted January 8, 2021 VID-20210108-WA0006.mp4 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Popular Post Davo369 Posted January 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted January 8, 2021 VID-20210108-WA0002.mp4 2 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roo860 Posted January 8, 2021 Share Posted January 8, 2021 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted January 9, 2021 Share Posted January 9, 2021 Wife: Stop being an idiot. Just be yourself. Me: Make your mind up! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted January 9, 2021 Share Posted January 9, 2021 I was shocked when I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted January 9, 2021 Share Posted January 9, 2021 My wife is like a newspaper, a new issue everyday. My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. We went out, had drinks and it turns out he’s a web designer. Today my wife left me because I am insecure. Oh wait! She's back, she just went to get coffee. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted January 9, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted January 9, 2021 Why I never change my password: WINDOWS: Please enter your new password. ME: Cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters. ME: Boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. ME: 1 boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces ME: 50damnboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character ME: 50DAMNboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. ME: 50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArseIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow! WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. ME: ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArseIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use 1 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted January 9, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted January 9, 2021 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluesofa Posted January 9, 2021 Share Posted January 9, 2021 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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