Worst Joke Ever 2024

[WorriedNoodle]

[ballpoint]

15 hours ago, fangless said:

I wish to complain!  I took your advice and I'm still waiting...

 

[Zyxel]

 

[ballpoint]

Badly laid key stones are a builder's arch enemy.

[ballpoint]

He's making a list
He's checking it twice
He's gonna find out whose naughty and nice
Santa Claus is in contravention of Article 4 of General Data Protection Regulation (EU) 2016 / 679

[Zyxel]

[ballpoint]

Breaking:

Cartoonist found dead in home.
Details are sketchy.

[ballpoint]

When I was born and my father picked me up for the first time he said to my mother “ The kid’s got bad breath and a hair lip“.

She said “ You’re holding him upside down ! “

[Zyxel]

[ballpoint]

I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar.

Could be a Chinese Wispa.

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[ballpoint]

10 years ago a bloke came up to me in the pub. He told me to invest in beef, chicken and vegetable stocks.

I wish I'd listened to him. He's a bouillonaire now.

[ballpoint]

Can’t believe I got fired on my very first day as a signwirter.

[ballpoint]

I met a dwarf called Peter, he's a baker and was telling me about baking flatbreads,
it was fascinating.
I love the pita patter of tiny Pete.

[ballpoint]

Before the crowbar was invented,
crows drank at home.

[ballpoint]

If Tetris taught me anything, it is that mistakes pile up while success just vanishes.

[ballpoint]

Somebody once told me a kebab is great for soaking up the beer.
I ran some tests and I must say I much prefer a cloth.

[ballpoint]

TOP TIP OF THE DAY
Going deep-sea diving?
A single packet of Walkers crisps contains enough air for up to four hours.

[fangless]

7 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

I wish to complain!  I took your advice and I'm still waiting...

 

Don't get "Catty" with me!

????

[ballpoint]

I was on Twitter the other day and some clown had the gall to call me illiterate.

I soon showed him though.  I posted a photo of my parents' marriage certificate just to prove him wrong.

[ballpoint]

My girlfriend walked out on me, with my Bob Marley CD and my Satellite dish.

No Woman, no Sky!

[fangless]

6 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Before the crowbar was invented,
crows drank at home.

It must have been murder when they all nestled into it at the same time!

[fangless]

13 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

I met a dwarf called Peter, he's a baker and was telling me about baking flatbreads,
it was fascinating.
I love the pita patter of tiny Pete.

Is he always leavened level with you or is he a flat out liar rolling in dough??

[fangless]

16 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Can’t believe I got fired on my very first day as a signwirter.

Didn't you see the righting on the wall?

[fangless]

17 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

10 years ago a bloke came up to me in the pub. He told me to invest in beef, chicken and vegetable stocks.

I wish I'd listened to him. He's a bouillonaire now.

And I bet you thought he was just stirring it and making a laughing stock of you!

[fangless]

28 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

He's making a list
He's checking it twice
He's gonna find out whose naughty and nice
Santa Claus is in contravention of Article 4 of General Data Protection Regulation (EU) 2016 / 679

What about his cookies?

[fangless]

47 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Badly laid key stones are a builder's arch enemy.

Stone me, that's an a mason thought!

Edited November 11, 2021 by fangless
spelling!!

[fangless]

2 hours ago, sanuk711 said:

Should be easy as there is plenty of room!

[fangless]