Worst Joke Ever 2024

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

Apparently there, at present, is no need for quarantine or a covid passport to get into Afghanistan

if you have a Kalashni Cough.

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[AhFarangJa]

1 hour ago, fangless said:

Life in the Australian Army
Dear Mum and Dad,
I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the army is better than workin’ on the farm – tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone!
I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6 am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack – nothin’! Ya haz gotta shower, though, but it’s not so bad, coz there’s lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!
At brekky, ya get cereal, fruit and eggs, but there’s no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don’t get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we’ve been on a ‘route march’ – geez, it’s only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!
This one will kill me brothers with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin’ – dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum’s bum and it don’t move and it’s not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target – it’s a piece of cake! You don’t even load your own cartridges. They comes in little boxes and ya don’t have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo-shooting truck when you reload!
Sometimes, ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy – it’s not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.
Turns out I’m not a bad boxer either and it looks like I’m the best the platoon’s got. I’ve only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers – he’s six foot five and fifteen stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I’m only five foot seven and eight stone wringin’ wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.
I can’t complain about the army – tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.
Your loving daughter,
Sheila
 

The last sentence cracked me up.............

[fangless]

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

A really sucidal and  explosive start to the day!

[Crossy]

[sanuk711]

[fangless]

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

I suppose they only need the bar-codes now to get around the zoo cages!

[fangless]

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

Or just wave goodbye due to my lack of understanding you!

[fangless]

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

And bit by bit they found they had saddled themselves with a stable relationship that kept them jockeying along at a rare gallop!

[fangless]

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

What about murder? Does that come under pillaging or can I just plead ignorance as I'm a liberal?

[fangless]

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

Apparently there, at present, is no need for quarantine or a covid passport to get into Afghanistan

if you have a Kalashni Cough.

Or a form AK47 with all the bullet points from the magzine completed!

[fangless]

9 minutes ago, Crossy said:

The devil is always in the detail!

[fangless]

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

Well, let us know when it has.

When what has?

[fangless]

 What's in a name on a hot day?

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]