Worst Joke Ever 2025

ballpoint · May 1, 2022

My wife says I was an animal in bed last night.

(What exactly is a sloth?)

ballpoint · May 1, 2022

I was in the bank yesterday in our town centre, when the woman behind the counter started singing "Downtown".
I thought to myself, "What a peculiar clerk."

ballpoint · May 1, 2022

I've just started a company manufacturing over-sized sinks...
Does anyone on here mind if I give it a massive plug?

ballpoint · May 1, 2022

I kept hearing music coming from upstairs, then I found my printer was jamming.

ballpoint · May 1, 2022

There is a rumour that the government is to allow the public to purchase Botox on line - ha, that's going to raise a few eyebrows.

ballpoint · May 1, 2022

I'm writing a book about hurricanes and tornados.
It's only a draft at the moment.

ballpoint · May 1, 2022

Last night, I saw this bloke sneaking around my garden wearing a rugby shirt, golfing slacks, tennis shoes and a pair of goalkeepers gloves.
"Hey!" I shouted, "What's your game?"

ballpoint · May 1, 2022

I hated school sports days as a kid.

My mate Andy Zoff always won.

ballpoint · May 1, 2022

When I went to America I was going to visit a theme park that had the world's largest pool table.
But didn't go in the end, the cues were massive.

ballpoint · May 1, 2022

Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender missionary. I've baked 'em, I've roasted 'em, I've stewed 'em, I've barbequed 'em, I've even tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender."
The second cannibal asks, "What kind of missionary do you use?"
The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and their sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."
"Ah ha!" he replies. "No wonder.. those are friars!"

DezLez · May 1, 2022

5 hours ago, ballpoint said:

"Ah ha!" he replies. "No wonder.. those are friars!"

Did they get "tucked in" with Maid Marion and get Robin's delight without a Nottingham Sheriff's ban?

I await "all aquiver" for your pointed responses and do not mind being shafted in the process as "Maid Marion" screamed for the Friar to &uck her in bed again with his sturdy shaft!