My MIL tried to commit suicide.  They told her that she needed to shoot below her boob so that she would hit her heart.  She did what they said but blew her kneecap out.

Homeopathy practitioner gave up on life and attempted suicide by taking an underdose.

An officer on a cruise ship was walking round the decks, mingling with the passengers.

It was a blustery day and as two women walked towards him, one in jeans and one in a loose fitting skirt a sudden gust blew the woman's skirt up around her waist to reveal that she had no underwear on.

'It's quite airy isn't it ?" the officer said.

The woman snapped back "what did you expect ? Feathers ?"