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Blonde Jokes


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Q: How do you confuse a blonde?

A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.

Q: Why does it work?

A: "Does 3 come before E or does it go between M and W?"

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?

A: Because it kept falling out.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: Why did God create blondes?

A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.

Q: Why did God create brunettes?

A: Neither could the blondes.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?

A: The joystick is wet.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?

A: The more you bang it the looser it gets

Q: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?

A: They both wriggle when you eat them.

Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?

A: Two brunettes

Q: What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....?

A: A blond doing cartwheels.

Q: What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?

A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.

Q: What do a moped and a blond have in common?

A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.

Q: How do you know when a blond's been in your frige?

A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!

Q: What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?

A: All you have to do is scratch the box to win.

Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?

A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.

Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?

A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?

A: Because she got an F in sex.

Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?

A: Because everybody gets a turn.

Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?

A: Because she's been laid all over the country.

Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?

A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?

A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.

Q: Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?

A: They both drip when they're f**ked.

Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"

A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!

Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?

A: Locking the car door.

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