asmicboi Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 Hi everyone. I am a singaporean living in bangkok on non-o visa (spouse), im working for a overseas compang (work from home basis). And im drawing monthly salary of about 200k baht. Salary is TT over to my bank account in Thailand every month. I am divorcing my thai wife of 8 years. She has not work for the past 9 years even since we got together. Basically enjoying life at home and im the sole breadwinner of the family. I bought a townhome and 2 cars for the family. (house and car still financing under her name though). We had our marriage registered in Singapore back then and it was subsequently registered at a local amphur (kor ror 22) We now have a son who will be 4 yrs old this year. He has dual thai and singapore citizenship. Just for info, My son was not conceived naturally as well because my wife has problem conceiving naturally. We got our lovely son after 3 years of multiple consulation to hospitals and IVF clinic. Entirely paid by me as well. However we now face problems in the marriage and she has taken my son back to her hometown in Chiangrai. Even enrolled him to a school there. She told me that she is going to erase the word 'daddy' out of my son mind completely and told him that he doesnt have a father. She also told my parents that she will change my son surname to her family name. etc etc etc. She is basically shutting me and my family away from him now. I couldnt sleep every night thinking about my son. I couldnt bare to see him growing up in a village with not much of a future. I dont mean that the village is a bad place to be in. But being financially stable myself, i am able to put him through good education and provide him with a comfortable and enjoyable childhood. I even have plans to bring him back to Singapore for education when he is 6 or 7 years old. At the moment, I have stopped all financial support aka salary to my wife now in bid to force her back to negotiation. But it doesnt seems to work. My parents back home in singapore loved and misses my son alot. Being the first grandchild of my family. I am now contemplating to sue my wife for divorce (we have valid grounds for divorce. This is taken care of) and i will like to fight and gain full custody of my son. Given my scenario and situation, will the thai court grant me full custody? Visitation rights doesnt appeal to me. He is so far away from Bangkok and it is difficult for me to travel there too often. my wife might not even allow me to bring him back to Singapore for education in future if i didnt have full custody rights. i am not saying that I to bring him back to Singapore and make him to give up his thai nationality. I still want him to keep them. My plan for him is to return to Thailand in future after his education. As a father, I personally felt Thailand is a much better to live in. Also im in the midst of setting up my own company here in Thailand soon. In fact i have already open the company. Just that i havent started business yet. Just didnt have the right mind to start business with these ongoing issues. Seeking advice from all kind souls here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bojo Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 Lawyer up, I would. It sounds very complicated and you need a specialist to help you in your situation. Good luck with it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritManToo Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 2 hours ago, asmicboi said: At the moment, I have stopped all financial support aka salary to my wife now in bid to force her back to negotiation. But it doesnt seems to work. Best way to go. Find a new woman and have more children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmsally Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 Sort of on topic,... but I didn't realise Singaporeans could hold dual nationality. When I went for Thai nationality also the police dept mentioned Singaporeans didn't apply because they couldn't have dual nationality. Is it possible for Singaporeans to have dual nationality?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syduan Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 Prepare a contract granting you custody of your child, and try and coerce her into signing it. I drew up one myself and it worked for me. Custody contract.docx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldrunner Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 We all make bad choices now and again. I'm married 27 years to my Thai wife and have no regrets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kensisaket Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 I would definitely lawyer up; however, you need to do your homework before hiring one. That could be a bottomless money pit with nothing to show for it in the end if you get the wrong representation. I would add business consultation to their duties; because, putting all your eggs in a Thai business venture could be opening the doors to a financial windfall for her during divorce proceedings. She already has that in the house and car that are in her name. 100% for sure she has been putting money away for years; so, it will be a while before she will need your money again. In the end money talks; so, eventually that is going to be your leverage. Try to work out an amicable agreement for your son's sake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pilotman Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 I would try to pick a law firm that has a Singapore office, or better still perhaps, a Singapore law firm that has a Bangkok office. It's not going to be cheap, but you may have to fight your case in two juristictions, especially as the child is duel Nationality. You don't want to end up with two separate law firms who don't communicate or share information and documents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mavideol Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 11 hours ago, asmicboi said: At the moment, I have stopped all financial support aka salary to my wife now in bid to force her back to negotiation. But it doesnt seems to work. keep holding....wait and it will work unless she already has another foreigner financing her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomahawk21 Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 9 hours ago, BritManToo said: Best way to go. Find a new woman and have more children. and dont be held to blackmail let her keep him, in 2 years she will be begging you to take him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justin case Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 1 hour ago, kensisaket said: I would definitely lawyer up; however, you need to do your homework before hiring one. That could be a bottomless money pit with nothing to show for it in the end if you get the wrong representation. I would add business consultation to their duties; because, putting all your eggs in a Thai business venture could be opening the doors to a financial windfall for her during divorce proceedings. She already has that in the house and car that are in her name. 100% for sure she has been putting money away for years; so, it will be a while before she will need your money again. In the end money talks; so, eventually that is going to be your leverage. Try to work out an amicable agreement for your son's sake. you talk about book experience or went trough divorce yourself in thailand? yes those f. ers ask more per hour than I used to earn in .... whatever and all the freaking extra's on top ... they are thai/english speaking lawyers but still manage 1500 baht per PAGE for translation, 35000-75000 per day in court, transport not included and other crazy extortion prices Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justin case Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 1 hour ago, Pilotman said: I would try to pick a law firm that has a Singapore office, or better still perhaps, a Singapore law firm that has a Bangkok office. It's not going to be cheap, but you may have to fight your case in two juristictions, especially as the child is duel Nationality. You don't want to end up with two separate law firms who don't communicate or share information and documents. sorry but this is THAILAND and THAI LAW will be used for your THAI problem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justin case Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 1 hour ago, Tomahawk21 said: and dont be held to blackmail let her keep him, in 2 years she will be begging you to take him. I have a psycho bitch as a wife myself no they want to hurt you, disregarding the child toxic NARCISSIST I wish I knew about those before getting married look it up, you might start to see in many places Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pilotman Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 Just now, justin case said: sorry but this is THAILAND and THAI LAW will be used for your THAI problem Utter nonsense. The child is both Thai and Singaporean, it will be an issue for the law in both countries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Number 6 Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 If you have the child's passport see if you can get him 'for the weekend' then just bail out to Singapore. She'll come around. Do whatever...cry like a baby, offer her 100k if only you can take him for a long weekend to Cha Am wah wah wah. She'll only see the big money...give her the cash Bolt Oh you can't...bc the kid is not on a Singaporean passport entering. Well, it was a good idea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritManToo Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 13 minutes ago, justin case said: I have a psycho bitch as a wife myself no they want to hurt you, disregarding the child toxic NARCISSIST I wish I knew about those before getting married look it up, you might start to see in many places In the immortal words of WOPR, "The only winning move is not to play" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emptypockets Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 1 hour ago, BritManToo said: In the immortal words of WOPR, "The only winning move is not to play" I'll bite....... Wots a WOPR? Rumpole of the Bailey don't fit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogi100 Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 3 hours ago, Tomahawk21 said: and dont be held to blackmail let her keep him, in 2 years she will be begging you to take him. Good advise. But probably hard to accept. The more some women know you want to see your child the more obstacles they put in your way. If you let her think you don't care you might make some progress. But if she knows you're hurting the more she'll twist the knife. It may hurt terribly to appear to turn your back on him but you'll have more of a result than if you try to appeal to her better nature. Because unfortunately in these circumstances women often simply do not have one. In the meantime as BritManToo said play the field. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asmicboi Posted March 26, 2019 Author Share Posted March 26, 2019 5 hours ago, cmsally said: Sort of on topic,... but I didn't realise Singaporeans could hold dual nationality. When I went for Thai nationality also the police dept mentioned Singaporeans didn't apply because they couldn't have dual nationality. Is it possible for Singaporeans to have dual nationality?? He can hold dual nationality until 18. After 18 he has to choose. I will leave this for him to decide in the future. He now has both singapore and thai passport. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enki Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 5 hours ago, cmsally said: Sort of on topic,... but I didn't realise Singaporeans could hold dual nationality. When I went for Thai nationality also the police dept mentioned Singaporeans didn't apply because they couldn't have dual nationality. Is it possible for Singaporeans to have dual nationality?? It depends how you gain nationality. As the son of a Singapore father I assume he got nationality by birth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enki Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 2 hours ago, Pilotman said: Utter nonsense. The child is both Thai and Singaporean, it will be an issue for the law in both countries. No it wont. It is an issue in the country the first court ruled ... and as the child and the woman is not in Singapore a singaporean court will decline to be involved. The rest of the world does not work like the US, where every court thinks it can make some money by accepting a case which is outside of its jurisdiction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justin case Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 2 hours ago, Pilotman said: Utter nonsense. The child is both Thai and Singaporean, it will be an issue for the law in both countries. dude, I have been on divorce lawyer websites the last couple of days, you ? people thinking they know what they are talking about and giving crap advise is worse than no advise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metempsychotic Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 13 hours ago, BritManToo said: Best way to go. Find a new woman and have more children. What a douche thing to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richard_smith237 Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 These are the guys you want on your side... https://www.tilleke.com/practices/familylaw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andytime Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 I understand all of your concerns but the same way you love your son maybe your wife does too. Most mothers have pretty strong bond with their kids and the complicated process for birth may increase that love. Her bond may be no less endearing than your own (albeit in her own Thai way) I have no idea of her background and all of the problems. From the point of view of your son I am sure he will want both a mother and father in his life if possible. I am not sure whether do with a 4 year old but you will have an interview with Thai family services people and they will ask the kid about home situation. Unless your wife is popping pills or something else then likely struggle to win sole custody in Thailand. Best way imho is to try sort out an amicable situation with your ex wife where share custody in some way. Good luck... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KhaoYai Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 5 hours ago, justin case said: dude, I have been on divorce lawyer websites the last couple of days, you ? people thinking they know what they are talking about and giving crap advise is worse than no advise He is in fact correct. The child is in Thailand, the default position under Thai law is that the mother has custody and Thailand is under no obligation to accept any litigation from a foreign country. Had the child been solely Singaporean things would be different but in this case, the Thai authorities will consider the child as Thai. You can visit as many websites as you want - a non Thai is not allowed to practice law in Thailand so he won't be using any Singaporean lawyer in a Thai court. And before you ask, yes, I have been divorced in Thailand - more than once, I do know a little of what I'm talking about. The OP needs to put this matter before the family court and use a lawyer. The court will act in the best interests of the child - witholding maintenance, at least for the child, is not a good idea at this stage if the OP wishes to be considered a good father. Unless he can prove some kind of wrong doing by his wife - drug addict etc. he is extremely unlikely to gain custody of the child but some form of access arrangement will probably be agreed upon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kanga09 Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 from my experience similar circumstances thai women like most women want control over finances house children if your child your was born in thailand and she wants to stay there my advice is to keep her there when they come to western affluent country they become more spoilt and lazy if I could turn back time I would never ever bring my partner to Australia good luck solving the mess it not easy but hang in there and think what is best for you and the child also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kanga09 Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 On 3/22/2019 at 11:08 PM, FruitPudding said: OP.....why marry? yes that is the worst thing to do wise man once said i think the i irish to be sure to be sure but only to be sure i did not but still have some or most control of my child Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosst Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 15 hours ago, Syduan said: Prepare a contract granting you custody of your child, and try and coerce her into signing it. I drew up one myself and it worked for me. Custody contract.docx 10.33 kB · 11 downloads Offer her lots of money but not all at once and more money later rather than sooner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomahawk21 Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 13 hours ago, justin case said: I have a psycho bitch as a wife myself no they want to hurt you, disregarding the child toxic NARCISSIST I wish I knew about those before getting married look it up, you might start to see in many places you may like to read my last post on, how to safe guard your assets, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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