3 Years Old...

[tuky]

My number 1 is now 3 years and 4 months.

She refuses to sleep without her dummy and insists on 2 bottles of banana flavoured milk each night while she sleeps.

Is she too old for this now? should we be trying to get her to stop? Or is it not really a problem and she will stop when she wants?

Ay ideas are very welcome.

[Goldenbead]

Be careful with milk settling around her teeth in her sleep. It will case decay. You should give her the milk before bed, brush her teeth and then nothing but water after. As far as the dummy goes, try setting a date in the future for her to give it up. Worked for mine. Good luck.

[matcube]

Milk: my first one (3y 6 months now) was on tooth brushing then milk until few months ago. Lately we switched to milk first, then brushing. Now, given the choice, she would go with milk then brushing; once the routine is established it will be easy. As far as drinking from the bottle, we have no concerns, I read it's not a big deal. After all, she can drink without problem from a glass, it's just she likes milk that way, morning and night. One day she will give up by herself.

Dummy: In both cases (now 3y6m, 1y7m) we lost it in places where it wasn't easy to find a replacement. It took us 4 nights of desperation, and then it was it. They were 2 year old and 1 year old when it happened, so I don't know if for a 3.4 would be the same. It's going to be harder to explain that you just lost it (and cannot buy another one) or that the dog ate it, but you can try, it worked with us.

[billd766]

My son is 2 years and 7 months and he still takes milk in a bottle and as matcube says he can drink from a glass or a cup but not yet at night.

He has never had a dummy so that is no problem but my other son in the UK had one when he was young and it took a long time to get him off it.

[billd766]

My son is 2 years and 7 months and he still takes milk in a bottle and as matcube says he can drink from a glass or a cup but not yet at night.

He has never had a dummy so that is no problem but my other son in the UK had one when he was young and it took a long time to get him off it. How long I honestly cannot remember as he is 29 now.

[MsFigure]

Can't help with the dummy as my daughter never used one.

With the milk, I like how matcube gave their child the option to choose. At three they are at an age where they should be making choices for themselves. That's what we do with our daughter, and by making a big game out of a lot things - you get/teach them to do things your way much faster too . I also think that the milk thing is something that she will grow out of it, but in the meantime you could start watering down the banana flavoured milk at night until she decides it doesn't taste so good anymore. (Do it gradually and just water it down more everytime you give her the bottle at night)

Good Luck

Di

[leisurely]

Our youngest had choc milk in bed until the dentist told us she was showing signs of decay in her two front teeth! Both lost their dummies to the fairys when they were two. IMHO, children older than that look daft with a dummy in their mouth. I do have to say though that for both they served as the off switch.

The fairies did compensate them with a present that they had chosen in the run up to it. Our conversations went along the lines of 'the fairy came and told me there is a shortage of rubber in fairyland and there aren't any for the baby fairies.........'

Good luck, with both it was as if they had stopped smoking and put anything in their mouths for comfort. Better with a dummy though, in my youngests class there is a 6 year old who sucks her thumb!

[Padkapow Guy]

Holly cow! Tuky

It seems like 6 months ago you were annoucing the arrival of your number 1. Now she is 3. Man does time fly.

I don't have any little ones of my own so I don't have any advice for you. my guess is she will fiqure everything out on her own.

good luck

PKG

[tuky]

Holly cow! Tuky

It seems like 6 months ago you were annoucing the arrival of your number 1. Now she is 3. Man does time fly.

I don't have any little ones of my own so I don't have any advice for you. my guess is she will fiqure everything out on her own.

good luck

PKG

Time sure does fly mate, we are on number 2 now and she will be 1 next month

I think 3+ is too old for the dummy, and my wife is trying to get her off it as she is scared our daughter will end up with a deformed mouth, but in all honestly if you take the dummy off her she can get quite violent, she has nearly broken my nose several times with a punch or a kick. I do not have much experience with other peoples kids so I am not sure what would be normal behaviour.

My second daughter on the other hand is so cool I keep my beer in her prison cell thingy.

[leisurely]

Bluddy nora Tuky. You're three year old sounds a complete nightmare. Have you looked at her diet? Our eldest was a swine at that age. Luckily we recognised it and before it could develop into something more serious we completely changed her diet. Have a look at fedup.com.au - it is a bit preachy but will give you an idea. Stuff like the banana milk is full of additives and colourings, both are well known to be agitators of mood.

I know that it is hard, 'sorry love you can't have burgers from Mcbastards or nuggets' etc.........................the tantrums that arose from those little exchanges are or at least were unreal. Stick with it, she'll come good.

[LaoPo]

Children will ALWAYS challenge their parents, no matter how young they are, and will try, try and try....

Now, who's the papa and mama?

LaoPo

[leisurely]

Tuky, sorry I've just re read my post and it was a bit harsh. We had got to the stage where we didn't want to go out with her due to the scenes and tantrums. I hope I haven't offended you.

Leisurely

[talatnat]

Our youngest had choc milk in bed until the dentist told us she was showing signs of decay in her two front teeth! Both lost their dummies to the fairys when they were two. IMHO, children older than that look daft with a dummy in their mouth. I do have to say though that for both they served as the off switch.

Our three-year-old has allergies, and during winter she's constantly coughing through the night, keeping herself and everyone else awake. Two years of treatments, and half-a-dozen doctors didn'tt help. Then, one smart doctor asked us if she sucked on a bottle during the night, and when we said yes, he turned to our daughter and firmly told her "No more bottles at night." It turns out that sucking on a bottle or a dummy creates phlegm and exacerbates coughs.

That night we gave her a glass of milk with a straw before going to bed, and a firm reminder linking the bottle to the coughing ended any fussing on her part immediately. She just switched so easily to drinking from a glass that it amazes me how adaptable kids are. Best of all, her coughing eased within days. I don't attribute all the improvement all to the absence of a bottle, but it sure does help... a simple, common-sense remedy for young ones with stuffy noses...

Edited March 18, 2007 by talatnat

[Boo]

the milk itself shouldn't be a problem, as others have said, give her the milk & then brush her teeth but the banana flavouring will have alot of sugar in it. This could also be causing her tantrums as sugar is highly addictive so would look at what other added sugar is in her diet/drinks etc. From expereince, a lot of thai people (esp older generation) have no idea about additives or colouring in the "kanom" they stuff in little kids faces, my hubbies 8 year old neice has rotten teeth & fat as a pig due to grandma allowing her to eat whatever sugary crap she wants. Don't let them do that to your daughter too.

The dummy, well at over 3 y/o it is a bit old & you have to be careful that prolonged use wont cause buck teeth. Why not just "lose" it & deal with the hassle of a few days of tantrums & crying, she will eventually get over it as all kids do but you have to be willing to put up with the aggro that will come for a few days without giving in.

[Neeranam]

Mate, I don't know about the dummy as my 4 year old never had one. I wanted to give her one but my wife was adamant not to.

I remember an Australian thing on tv with a baby throwing his bottle out his playpen - the caption said if he can give up the bottle, so can you. It was an AA ad. Some psychologists used to tell me that I may be an alkie due to being breastfed too long or had a dummy too long!

One thing I know is that parenting is a learning process. I'd say tell your daughter that she can't have any milk and let her know who is boss or you'll have problems in the future. I'd always give in to mine at around 3 years old then it got unbearable and even dangerous. I'd worry that if I said no to her "nom brieow" before bed, she wouldn't love me - crazy! I'd tell her to stay away from the road, for example, and she didn't. I became very consistent and spanked her backside a couple of times. I got the "I don't love Daddy anymore" treatment for a few days but now things are much better. She is always trying to see if Daddy will give in like he used to, but Daddy doesn't anymore, and everything is good.

Our new baby will be brought up in a slightly different way, not getting spoiled so much.

My 4 year old now is "stirra staw" as we say in Scotland. Comes from when a cow has a second calf, the first is put in a stall by itself. A whole new set of 'problems'.

[bina]

what do u mean, insists? she is smaller than u even if she makes more noise. reduce it to one bottle, a bedtime story and a hug with teddy bear. then start watering down the first bottle. then move from bottle to glass of mint tea (without the tea bag, just mint leaves, and a bit of sugar, not much. or children's coffee -decaf stuff for kids dont know if there is such a thing in thailand, chicory coffee- or a cup of yogurt. then teeth brushing.

milk is bad before sleep because of the phlegm etc, try moving her to 'leafy' tea i.e. mint tea w/o the tea bag, just hte mint leaves, or camomil, or children's coffee (chicory w/water not milk), in a cup, as a nite cap or in the bottle if u still want to deal with the bottle.

u can have her put the pacifier to sleep in its own box with blanket near her bed, and have her hug a teddy bear instead etc. as we always say, by the time she is married she wont be using a pacifier any more.

do a bed time routine involving milk before brushing, reading a story, putting teddy to bed and pacifier goes to sleep too, in the drawer. but u have to decide if u want her to give it up on her terms or with help from you. so, if u do decide that u want her to give up the pacifier, then remember this stuff:

three year olds make a lot of noise. the neighbhors may even think u are killing her. but stick with it. once u start, DONT GIVE IN EVEN ONCE. EVEN IF SHE HAS A FEVER. EVEN IF SHE THROWS UP FROM CRYING AND SCREAMING. THE CARRYING ON GOES AWAY REALLY QUICKLY. REWARD (HUGS, STORY, SMALL STICKER ON A CHART, WHATEVER WORKS) HER WHEN SHE QUIETS DOWN. BE A ROCK. LET HER CARRY ON. stay with her but dont give in. she's trained u very very well. now u have to reverse it. i say this cause my duaghter was a champion thrower upper when tantruming. and having an asthma attack. so her manipulation worked well. (she 'had' us) until one dreadful night when she LOST the pacifier. horror . in israel no stores friday or saturday. so we couldnt REPLACE the thing. (no spares,or couldnt find them.) that was the end of pacifiers. two nights of screaming until throwing up. needing ventolin. but htat was it.

never needed pacifier again. now at age thirteen sleeps with twenty stuffed animal toys. one of which accompanies her to all overnite sleep over camping trips from school and scouts.

good luck.

bina

[tutsiwarrior]

nobody gave me no stuffed toys when I was 3 y.o....they put tabasco onna my thumb an' put bars across the bedroom doorway so's ta keep me from runnin' around... be kind to yer children when they are difficult in their early years...the world needs less rather than more tutsiwarriors...

Edited March 19, 2007 by tutsiwarrior