Katoy Brother

[BambinA]

BTW I'm sure it would be safe to leave my son in Bambina's care.

Thank you ..

I wish i had my own kid(s) ..I just can't do that

Anyhow ,If i have a chance to take care (a) kid(s) (i'm waiting for your kid(s) gintOnic( my sister 's ID in TV) with her american fiancee soon husband)

I'm worry abit on myself ...I love kids ..I just want to spoil them not good..

I just like kids (and animal) just love to spoil em ... my weak point

[mpdkorat]

BTW I'm sure it would be safe to leave my son in Bambina's care.

Thank you ..

Don't worry next time I come to BKK I'm leaving him with you while I go out on the town

[endure]

Here is the situation - my wife has a brother who dresses like a sister. He wears makeup, has small tits but still has a penis, or so the wife thinks.

A big argument is happening with the wife and me. She wants to leave our young sons at his house for a weekend when we go abroad on a business trip, and the boys want to go to because Uncle Noi has a swimming pool, pool table etc.

I have said in nooo terms am I leaving my boys(7 and 5 years old) alone with a katoy.

Am I being unreasonable? homophobic? I'd quite happily leave my young daughter.

My own sister refuses to leave her son in OZ with his gay uncle, who I think is an allright bloke.

Is a Thai cross-dresser a high risk to look after young boys?

Interested to here your opinions - however I don;t think I am going to change my mind

If your wife had a brother who dresses like a man would you be willing to leave your daughters with him?

[faranggl]

Mr. saraburioz,

You should be concerned about Uncle Noi keeping a close watch on your children around his swimming pool. That seems like the most dangerous aspect of leaving the kids for the weekend and the possibility they may get spoiled if that is an issue. Your fortunate to have a close relative that your wife trusts leaving the kids with and that the kids might look forward to spending time with.

Although, if Uncle Noi turns out as beautifull as Bambina, your wife could end up sharing joint custody of the kids with her own brother and you!

[dominique355]

Looks like a case of labels. Many people think that they can put a label to everybody and qualify the person according to that label. So a "katoey" (all katoey) are like this, all black are like this, all Muslim are like this, etc.

In this case, I would rather look at the person, her character, her personality and behavior rather than at the label to put on her. If she is trustworthy, reliable and a good person, you can entrust her your sons. If not, forget it. But this has nothing to do with her being katoey (or black or Muslim).

Is it possible that you are prejudiced against her?

(I use the "her", because that's what she wants to be)

[Ulysses G.]

A lot of you live in a dream world.

A man dressing as a woman is crying out for any kind of sexual attention. Two young straight boys may be a little too much temptation.

[taxexile]

thais of all three sexes are usually very good with young kids.

[PeaceBlondie]

A lot of you live in a dream world.

A man dressing as a woman is crying out for any kind of sexual attention. Two young straight boys may be a little too much temptation.

C'mon, Ulysses - a macho straight man strutting down the street, cursing and talking about his sexual conquests, is also crying out for any kind of sexual attention. Two young straight girls may be a little too much temptation. Let's not bother with stereotypes, especially falsies. Let's judge each person individually.

[Scott]

I can understand your concerns. It's a matter of whether or not he is responsible or not. If he is responsible and there are no indications of any "attraction" to kids, then it's a safe bet all will be well. He will take good care of his nephews--as good as any other family member.

The other problem is you and your attitude. It's very hard to leave your kids with somebody whom you don't really feel quite comfortable with. It doesn't matter whether your comfort has to do with discrimination, bigotry etc. etc. It's just not a comfortable situation.

In this case, I would go with my instincts (unless the family can pitch in and give you some real good cause to go against them).

The other thing I would do, is have a "trial" run. Let the kids stay with him sometime when you are around --not gone on business and see if everything goes OK.

If you end up leaving them, have some people to stop by and check, give the kids phone numbers and all the other things. I am sure they will be OK, but it's also important that Dad doesn't melt down on the business trip!

[Ulysses G.]

A lot of you live in a dream world.

A man dressing as a woman is crying out for any kind of sexual attention. Two young straight boys may be a little too much temptation.

C'mon, Ulysses - a macho straight man strutting down the street, cursing and talking about his sexual conquests, is also crying out for any kind of sexual attention. Two young straight girls may be a little too much temptation. Let's not bother with stereotypes, especially falsies. Let's judge each person individually.

I wouldn't let two young children stay with anyone who seemed odd - especially if they were obsessed with sex.

[ColPyat]

Let's judge each person individually.

That is more or less the essence of it.

Unfortunately though the OP has not given any more information on the situation than that the wife's sister is katoey and lives in a place with swimming pool and a pool table . Impossible to give any advise based on that information.

What about lifestyle, profession, age, responsibility and whatever else is important?

Obviously there may be a higher incident of mental problems in katoey, due to many factors, such as the intake of hormones, problems with adapting to society (or society adapting to the person), but in order to give advice on this particular case we would have more information on the person involved, but we only got information on the rather irrational fear of the OP.

In case of pedophilia, i would be far more careful with the nice uncle, who gets on so well with the kids, who carries the cloak of utter normalcy. Gender orientation and identification by itself has no bearing with potential for sexual abuse of children.

Have there been any practical events and considerations in the past that make the OP distrust this particular person to care for his children, or is it just that the sister in law is katoey?

[Mighty Mouse]

There is a distinct difference between a paedophile and a transsexual.

A paedophile has an unhealthy love/lust for children. A transsexual finds being a female more attractive than being a male.

Paedophiles are the scum of the earth and I certainly wouldn't be leaving children in their care. On the other hand, gay men and transsexuals could probably take better care of children than could most women.

If the OP doesn't trust members of his own family to look after his children, then he obviously couldn't trust anybody.

Many female babysitters in Western society have been charged with physically abusing the kids they are minding. Children aren't necessarily safe under female care either.

[Neeranam]

Most katoeys I've known have been great with kids. But... they've mostly had some kind of psychological/emotional problems. I'd be worried about leaving my daughters because of the swimming pool.

I'd feel uneasy leaving my daughters in the care of a seually promiscuous lesbian. I'd feel uneasy leaving my sons in the care of a sexually promiscuos homosexual man. Actually, I'd feel uneasy leaving my sons or daughters in the care of ANYONE who was not 'normal' sexually.

Actually, I'd feel uneasy leaving my kids with ANYONE.

I would feel better if the brother had a live-in partner - not sure why.

I'd probably let my wife decide - she would never knowingly put our kids at risk.

Sounds like your problem may be with your wife?

Edited March 20, 2007 by Neeranam

[altman]

i'd be much more worried about them being raised by a homophobe than spending a weekend at a katoey's home.

[t.s]

you are just another homophobe scared of something you don't understand.

And to top it off you don't value your wife's ability to assess the charracter of people she has known for most of her life and to decide whether or not her children will be safe with them. I am sure this is not the only area you disregard your wife's judgment.

anyways its moot, you have your predjuduces. just because someone is gay doesn't mean they fancy either yourself or diddling children. I the VAST majority dont like either.

have a gay experience, either you will like it or you wont, but once past it you will be making an informed decision if you decide to continue with your homophobia

Edited March 20, 2007 by t.s

[t.s]

A lot of you live in a dream world.

A man dressing as a woman is crying out for any kind of sexual attention. Two young straight boys may be a little too much temptation.

C'mon, Ulysses - a macho straight man strutting down the street, cursing and talking about his sexual conquests, is also crying out for any kind of sexual attention. Two young straight girls may be a little too much temptation. Let's not bother with stereotypes, especially falsies. Let's judge each person individually.

what an apt misspelling!

its the falsies he has the problem with appaerntly

[Ijustwannateach]

I've tried to keep an open mind regarding the irrational fears and prejudices of certain members on this thread, but a post has been deleted for violating forum rules regarding prejudice and bigotry against minority groups. If you want to bash gays in general/transsexuals in general, Thaivisa is not the place.

"Steven"

[Vampyros Lesbos]

If you do not trust him then do not do it. Ladyboy or not my friend is "married" with a ladyboy and she he is 100% ok but then i know LB that goes on drugs and steal for a living so i mean its not a question about man or LB here.

[cdnvic]

If you do not trust him then do not do it. Ladyboy or not my friend is "married" with a ladyboy and she he is 100% ok but then i know LB that goes on drugs and steal for a living so i mean its not a question about man or LB here.

There's like a zillion straight junkies in jeans out there so the comment about drugs is a bit silly.

[Neeranam]

QUOTE(Vampyros Lesbos @ 2007-03-20 13:53:05)

If you do not trust him then do not do it. Ladyboy or not my friend is "married" with a ladyboy and she he is 100% ok but then i know LB that goes on drugs and steal for a living so i mean its not a question about man or LB here.

There's like a zillion straight junkies in jeans out there so the comment about drugs is a bit silly

Don't you think there's a higher %age of ladyboys on drugs than non-ladyboys?

Come on.

[cdnvic]

QUOTE(Vampyros Lesbos @ 2007-03-20 13:53:05)

If you do not trust him then do not do it. Ladyboy or not my friend is "married" with a ladyboy and she he is 100% ok but then i know LB that goes on drugs and steal for a living so i mean its not a question about man or LB here.

There's like a zillion straight junkies in jeans out there so the comment about drugs is a bit silly

Don't you think there's a higher %age of ladyboys on drugs than non-ladyboys?

Come on.

Show me some evidence.

[PeaceBlondie]

Folks, after four years here, researching the subject, I still don't think Thais or farangs agree on the definitions of ladyboy, khatoey, gay, transvestite, etc. Too many variations, too many disagreed definitions.

Besdies, there are no really reliable statistics in Thailand. So it's mere speculation to guess whether ladyboys are more likely to be using illegal drugs. Or condoms. Or eye shadow.

...Just kidding about the eye shadow.....

[Crow Boy]

Here is the situation - my wife has a brother who dresses like a sister. He wears makeup, has small tits but still has a penis, or so the wife thinks.

A big argument is happening with the wife and me. She wants to leave our young sons at his house for a weekend when we go abroad on a business trip, and the boys want to go to because Uncle Noi has a swimming pool, pool table etc.

I have said in nooo terms am I leaving my boys(7 and 5 years old) alone with a katoy.

Am I being unreasonable? homophobic? I'd quite happily leave my young daughter.

My own sister refuses to leave her son in OZ with his gay uncle, who I think is an allright bloke.

Is a Thai cross-dresser a high risk to look after young boys?

Interested to here your opinions - however I don;t think I am going to change my mind

When I first read this post I thought it was just another troll looking to ignite the forum with a "us versus them" <deleted> fight. However before returing to the OP I read all the other postings and am assuming that you are a) serious and B ) you are open to suggestions

In my experience in Thailand I have known many straight and gay, transgender and transvestite Thais. I have ALWAYS viewed them on an individual basis using a combination of instinct, experience, and an open mind. There are good and bad everyone in Thailand just as there are in every other country. I have met katoey in Thailand that I would happily and confidently leave my two year old son while I went on a business trip and there are women I wouldn't entrust a house plant. Just because some one is different to you doesn't make them wrong, for some reason not explained you say you are willing to leave you sons with their gay uncle in Australia who presumably YOU trust and yet you aren't willing to do the same for a person your wife trusts.

This is not a judgement call for any person on this forum but something you and your wife need to decide. The only thing you have to do is to decide if you trust EACHOTHER'S judgement on the character of their family.

[baabaabobo]

IMHO 7 and 5 is too young to be left alone with anybody except parents.

[Pink Mist]

I was gonna close, but 2 sensible posts have arrived

[Jim's_a_Thai_Fox]

IMHO you're brother in law being a katgoey/LB won't affect a thing with regards to whether he would abuse your kids or not / be a good baby sitter. albeit a long term one.

As CROW BOY says, each person should be judged on individual merit. For looking after kids, aptitudes such as responsibility, patience, understanding, patience, GSOH and patience go very far. Sexual preference is of no consequence to an unprejudiced mind.

As for kids of 5 and 7 being too young to be looked after anyone other than their parents, I find that to be a little too much like wrapping them in cotton wool. "it takes a whole village to raise a child" Native American quote.

[bina]

if he wasnt a katoey, would u trust him?? or do u just not trust him??

i mean, would u leave your daughter with a straight man???

or just not with straight men that might like little girls:

really rather a silly thread, but hard to change peoples' stereotypes.

there are people. good and bad ones. what they do in bed, or what clothes they where really does not influence children. children are influenced by dynamics. the message that will get is, uncle katoey is a good guy. uncle drunkard is a bad guy. sexual preference is not an infectious disease.

or thre reverse. its up to how u present things to your kids.

[samtam]

I have said in nooo terms am I leaving my boys(7 and 5 years old) alone with a katoy.

Am I being unreasonable? homophobic? I'd quite happily leave my young daughter.

Why don't you answer your own questions? Are you being unreasonable? Why homophobic? Uncle Noi is a katoey, not gay. Why your daughter, not your sons?

Interested to here your opinions - however I don;t think I am going to change my mind

Why are you remotely interested in what others say? You seem to have made up your mind, by your own admission. Do you think anyone else cares about how you judge other people in your family? It's your business, they're your children. Be a father, and let your sons grow up to be whatever their environment has taught them.

[solent01]

I do not see the relevance of sexual orientation, surely the only factor in question is trust, do you trust your brother to look after your children? You wife does, so should you, being a ladyboy does not make him a bad or untrustworthy person. Your view is very old fashioned, and totally out of place in Thailand, sorry.

[lazeeboy]

Here is the situation - my wife has a brother who dresses like a sister. He wears makeup, has small tits but still has a penis, or so the wife thinks.

A big argument is happening with the wife and me. She wants to leave our young sons at his house for a weekend when we go abroad on a business trip, and the boys want to go to because Uncle Noi has a swimming pool, pool table etc.

I have said in nooo terms am I leaving my boys(7 and 5 years old) alone with a katoy.

Am I being unreasonable? homophobic? I'd quite happily leave my young daughter.

My own sister refuses to leave her son in OZ with his gay uncle, who I think is an allright bloke.

Is a Thai cross-dresser a high risk to look after young boys?

Interested to here your opinions - however I don;t think I am going to change my mind

i think you are a homophobic man its your wifes family you been together many years yes? spent time in the ladyboys company he obviously freaks you out or you would;nt have started this thread i know many katoys that are really nice people theres nothing they can do about the way they are they were born like it this is the 21st century not 18th hes your brother in law come on .. unless of coarse hes a known sex feind but hes not or you wouldnt have ask for advice here every one on thai visa knows a ladyboy that they like even homophobes so lighten up .........ps and i was a little homophobic too before coming here i have ladyboy and gay freinds here in thailand now