They Walk Among Us

[Jamesyboi]

I walked into a Blimbie's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for

a sandwich.

I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little

chalkboard that said

"buy one-get one free."

"They're already "buy-one-get-one-free," she said, "so I guess

they're both

free." She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the

door.

They walk among us and many work retail.

---------

A friend of mine bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid

of his old

fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it

saying: "Free to

good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge

sat there

without even one person looking twice at it. My friend decided

that people

were too untrusting of this deal. It looked too good to be true,

so he

changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50."

The next day someone stole it.

They walk among us.

--------

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one

of them

shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky

and said,

"Where?"

They Walk among us!

---------

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent

which

direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the

sun waking him

up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"

When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and

has for

sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with

that

stuff."

They Walk Among Us!!

---------

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One

day I got a

call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was

open. I

told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days

a week."

He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"

Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."

They Walk Among Us!

---------

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when

we overheard

one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn

she got on

her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a

convertible, but

"didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."

They Walk Among Us!

----------

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut

through a seat

belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

They Walk Among Us!

---------

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases

were

discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The

cashier

multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

They Walk Among Us!

---------

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I

went to the

lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never

showed up.

She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained

professional

and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane

arrived yet?"

They Walk Among Us!

----------

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a

small pizza to

go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would

like it cut

into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before

responding.

"Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to

eat 6

pieces."

Yep, They Walk Among Us! AND they reproduce! AND THEY VOTE!!!

[peter991]

There you go, James. Your first 5 star rated joke!!!

Congratulations. Get 5 of them in a week and you get an Elephant Stamp!

Peter

[kayo]

Thatwas good james. Enjoyed reading those.

[peter991]

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.

The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

______________________________________________________

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.

She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."

He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

He was a Chef.

______________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,

"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?

To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"

He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

______________________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street.

I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.

She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

___________________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.

She was leaving the company due to "downsizing."

Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun.

We should do this more often."

Not another word was spoken.

We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.

We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the

drivers side door.

As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

"Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!"

His reply, "I know - I already got that side."

STAY ALERT! They walk among us ... and they REPRODUCE

Peter