The Australian Ventriliquist

[Crow Boy]

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand, walks into small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi "g'day mate mind if I talk to your dog?"

Kiwi: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."

Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

Dog: "Doin' all right."

Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is this bloke your owner?" (pointing at the kiwi)

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."

Ventriloquist: "So how's it going horse?"

Horse: "Pretty Good"

Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the kiwi)

Horse: "Yep"

Horse: "He treats me well, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."

Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Kiwi: (in a panic) "I'm telling you now that bloody sheep's a liar."