Three Jokes

[Jamesyboi]

A nose walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you, you're off your face!"

Doctor: I have good news and bad news.

Patient: Go with the good news first.

Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.

Patient: What!?! How about the bad news?

Doctor: Um... I forgot to tell you yesterday.

This farmer has 500 hens but no rooster so he goes to his neighbor and asks him if he could buy a rooster for $100.

The neighbor says, "You can have this rooster. His name's Roy. He'll get all your hens pregnant. He's a real stud."

So the farmer takes him home and says, "It's your first day so take it slow, okay?"

The farmer puts Roy in the hen house and then hears all the hens crying and yelling. Roy nailed every one of those hens and then nailed a duck and a goose at a pond.

The next morning the farmer finds Roy lying dead with his legs sticking in the air and buzzards circling overhead.

The farmer says, "Roy, did you have to die?" Roy says, "Quiet! They're about to land!"