Two Jokes

[Jamesyboi]

Lady Penelope was making an official visit to a mental asylum. She was being escorted by the man in charge and she said to him “Tell me my good man what criteria do you use to decide whether these people need incarcerating?”

“Well madam” he said “What we do is fill a bath full with water and then give the person a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket and ask them to empty the bath.”

“Oh I see” she said “Obviously the ones who use the bucket are the ones that are sane”

“Oh no madam” he replied “The ones that are sane are the ones who pull the plug. Would you like a bed by the window?”

A blonde phones the fire brigade and says 'Can you please come quick, my house is on fire and will be demolished if you don't save it!' The fireman asks "How do we get there?"

"Hellloooooo", the blonde replies, "in the f ----- g big red truck!"