There Are Some Good Ones Out There.

[canuckamuck]

Sorry to offend November, I accept I should have had a coffee before I wrote that bit of slander. Truly there are some fantastic women with awesome character in the west. I should have said they are more difficult to find over there than they are here. Way more difficult!

I find that many of the good ones can actually be found over here, as I have met some quality people and they are good friends. Thanks for pulling me up short.

[jetjock]

The topic title 'some good ones out there' is an understatement IMHO. In fact there are many good ones out there ! Once you take Pattaya, Patong Beach, and parts of Bangkok out of the equation, my experience is that Thailand is no different than most western countries in that there are many good ones and some bad ones and many in between. Do not get me wrong as I think those areas are fine places to live and are a lot of fun if are looking for a more farang oriented culture. I am just saying that I do not think percentage wise that they are the best places to look if you are looking for a good girl, an educated girl, and a genuine relationship. I do not think it is fair to judge all of Thai society and its women by what happens in the farang areas of Thailand.

I married a wonderful Thai girl that is young, beautiful, successful, very highly educated and speaks English as fluently as I do. She is everything that I ever wanted in a woman plus much more. It was one of the smartest things that I have ever done in my life. I also consider myself the luckiest guy in the world because (if I might quote the cdnvik post) "my wife could have done better"

[November Rain]

Sorry to offend November, I accept I should have had a coffee before I wrote that bit of slander. Truly there are some fantastic women with awesome character in the west. I should have said they are more difficult to find over there than they are here. Way more difficult!

I find that many of the good ones can actually be found over here, as I have met some quality people and they are good friends. Thanks for pulling me up short.

No probs & thanks for clarifying.

[solent01]

“There are some good ones out there” That kind of slant indicates a fairly negative generalization of Thai ladies. I knew that when I moved here from the west as a single guy, that my chances of finding a quality partner would greatly improve. The key word here is quality. That is not why I came, but I knew it would be a boon.

I find western women to be a self important bunch of gold diggers, with a ‘what have you done for me lately’ look on there face every time you just want to relax and be real. I dated more than my share of western ladies and found I was continually disappointed. I wanted someone who was interested in sharing a life not someone who was always listening to their girlfriend to discover how they felt that day.

It’s the whole female empowerment, Oprah Winfrey, Cosmo magazine, mentality that really makes western women about as appetizing as defrosted dinners. They are looking for the man to perform feats of style, romance, and career climbing, for the approval of her peers. This will earn you a pat on the head if you are lucky.

I prefer an Asian lady with plans to build a life, someone who feels they have to work for the relationship too. I prefer a lady who thinks about ways to please her man, someone who is pleased by a man who sticks by her. I prefer dedication to judgment and vague value systems any day. This type can’t be found in the bars either.

I found mine, You can have the rest.

Wish I could have said it, but you did, so true, well said.........

[StateSix]

“There are some good ones out there” That kind of slant indicates a fairly negative generalization of Thai ladies. I knew that when I moved here from the west as a single guy, that my chances of finding a quality partner would greatly improve. The key word here is quality. That is not why I came, but I knew it would be a boon.

I find western women to be a self important bunch of gold diggers, with a ‘what have you done for me lately’ look on there face every time you just want to relax and be real. I dated more than my share of western ladies and found I was continually disappointed. I wanted someone who was interested in sharing a life not someone who was always listening to their girlfriend to discover how they felt that day.

It’s the whole female empowerment, Oprah Winfrey, Cosmo magazine, mentality that really makes western women about as appetizing as defrosted dinners. They are looking for the man to perform feats of style, romance, and career climbing, for the approval of her peers. This will earn you a pat on the head if you are lucky.

I prefer an Asian lady with plans to build a life, someone who feels they have to work for the relationship too. I prefer a lady who thinks about ways to please her man, someone who is pleased by a man who sticks by her. I prefer dedication to judgment and vague value systems any day. This type can’t be found in the bars either.

I found mine, You can have the rest.

Wish I could have said it, but you did, so true, well said.........

Which part is true? The ridiculous generalisation of all western women as gold diggers, or the equally ridiculous suggestion that female empowerment makes them unattractive. If you cannot deal with a confident women who isn't going to be all submissive, and prefer one who "thinks about ways to please her man", then that says a whole lot more about the sort of man you are.

There are good and bad women in every country. It would be interesting to read a similar thread about men in the Ladies forum. Wonder what the ladies would have to say about us wetern men

[sbk]

Actually, probably nothing too bad. My dad is a western man, as are my nephews and several of my ex boyfriends. All good guys and not a thing wrong with them.

Anyway, before we get off on slagging off western women, lets please all read the relevant portion of the forum rules:

3) Religious or racial slurs, rude and degrading comments towards women, or extremely negative views of Thailand will not be tolerated.

and be aware that breaking such rules will result in a warning and possible suspension of posting rights.

Now, back to the topic, I met my husband when he was just 21 and I was 22. We got married within a year. And now, 17 years later, are still happily married. He comes from a good family and has always provided for me financially (although I am capable of providing for myself), treats me with decency and respect and actually listens to my opinions as well as his own. He does not drink, smoke, gamble or cheat around. He has managed to meet me halfway in most things and when wrong will admit it. Sure, we have issues, most marriages do, but he is the nicest, most decent, honest man I know. (outside of my dad, of course )

Do I assume all Thai men are as great as my husband? Of course not, neither do I assume that they are all scum because I know a few who are. I am smart enough to realize that people are individuals, each with their own personalities and behaviors and that although some things are cultural, some things are just the person.

I try not to judge someone based on their color, nationality, or gender but rather on the person that they are. Sure, I fail, but at least I try.

[qwertz]

Actually, probably nothing too bad. My dad is a western man, as are my nephews and several of my ex boyfriends. All good guys and not a thing wrong with them.

Anyway, before we get off on slagging off western women, lets please all read the relevant portion of the forum rules:

3) Religious or racial slurs, rude and degrading comments towards women, or extremely negative views of Thailand will not be tolerated.

and be aware that breaking such rules will result in a warning and possible suspension of posting rights.

Now, back to the topic, I met my husband when he was just 21 and I was 22. We got married within a year. And now, 17 years later, are still happily married. He comes from a good family and has always provided for me financially (although I am capable of providing for myself), treats me with decency and respect and actually listens to my opinions as well as his own. He does not drink, smoke, gamble or cheat around. He has managed to meet me halfway in most things and when wrong will admit it. Sure, we have issues, most marriages do, but he is the nicest, most decent, honest man I know. (outside of my dad, of course )

Do I assume all Thai men are as great as my husband? Of course not, neither do I assume that they are all scum because I know a few who are. I am smart enough to realize that people are individuals, each with their own personalities and behaviors and that although some things are cultural, some things are just the person.

I try not to judge someone based on their color, nationality, or gender but rather on the person that they are. Sure, I fail, but at least I try.

Well said! It's refreshing to hear things from another angle now and then

[lambada]

My and G/F's hobby is matching people up. Right little cupids. Bit of explanation here, misunderstanding there, facts of life, background, odd reality check etc etc. Several happy couples to our credit. I've watched guys give up great girls because of Thai girl stereotypes and Thai girls give up rich guys for poor guys cos they loved them... In general if a male is easy going, not a cheap charlie and faithful he'll be alright sooner or later. I found poverty sorted out most of my problems with Thais

[Nebukanezar]

A gentle reminder that bargirl/barboy discussions aren't permitted on TV...

I've never discussed anything relating to bargirls here (darn, this is a first)but I don't quite see why the ban on the topic.

Just curious.

Also curious about the following from frikkiedeboer:

having said that,i must admit that my next one will definitely be a thai

Why would you limit yourself to a nationality? Isn't that severely limiting your choice?

I understand his decloration, it's not about the women persay as it is about the man knowing himself... Think of it like maintaining a car, I mean, would you buy nissan parts for your Bently?

If you know you love Thai's get with a Thai and be happy. I feel the same way, I think "Westren, Mid Eastren, American, (insert any other nationality here...many of which I have gleefully sampled) women are wonderful and have equal potential to be great or bad irregaurdless of nationality or religion. But for me...... Thai all the way

[Boo]

I find that man who doesn't know that there are good thai women out there has no business being involved with any women at all. The same rules applies for the ancient & pathetic views on western women too. A man should just find a partner to suit his needs so therefore shouls have no need to slag off or ciritse other women just because she doesn't fit his own stereotype of what a women should be.

[canuckamuck]

[

Which part is true? The ridiculous generalisation of all western women as gold diggers, or the equally ridiculous suggestion that female empowerment makes them unattractive. If you cannot deal with a confident women who isn't going to be all submissive, and prefer one who "thinks about ways to please her man", then that says a whole lot more about the sort of man you are.

I already retracted the generalization I made toward all western women. (I was over-defending Thai women) But what kind of guy desires a woman who won’t make an effort to please her partner. That’s the kind of crap I was on about. Pleasing each other is a natural outflow of a loving relationship. But I guess that’s beneath a confident woman. And submissiveness works both ways; it’s the art of finding common ground. Respect is what I desire, Love is what I offer. I guess that says a whole lot about the kind of man I am.

[duratanium]

Some interesting replies and points of views there.

My main point was to try to illustrate that there are good Thai people (a woman in my particular case) that can not only think and act for themselves but will take into consideration their partners feelings, thoughts and wishes. Also to show that - again, in my case - that my Thai g/f genuinely cares and it is good to hear from others that have a partner that does the same.

I watched the You Tube clip and thought that was also great. Shows the caring side.

I read and hear a lot of derogatory things said about Thais - mainly that they are money grabbing, scheming people, out to rip Farangs off - and wanted to put across another more positive point of view. So it is good to hear of those who are happy with their partner.

No offence was intended and I fail to see how the post could have been taken as such but, then again, we all think and act differently and that is what makes us human.

As to the inference that I should stay out of the pub more, I would point out that I go to a pub once a week - on a weekend.

Yes, I am happy with the Thai lady who chose me and hope to be so for a long time to come

[chiang mai]

I think it actually helps to have had one or two bad ones first before you finally find Ms. Right. I mean to say, everybody needs comparisons and it helps to know first hand what everyone is talking about when they say, "a bad one". I'd even go so far as to say that any person moving to Thailand for the first time should be issued with an apprenticeship book - paid the hospital bills for the family, check - bought some useless paddy land for way too much money, check - bought a buffalo, check - sent far too much money back to the GF whilst I was working overseas and she was off doing whatever, check. Congratulation sir, you've passed your test, you can now have a longer stay visa. No?

[britmaveric]

Good and bad thai ladies as there are good and bad ladies everywhere in the world. It comes down to the individual.

I for one think I am the luckiest lad alive - I have a gem.

[Maigo6]

Yes there are many good Thai women in Thailand.

Can the same be said about the average Farang that chooses to grace Thailand with his presence?

[cdnvic]

Yes there are many good Thai women in Thailand.

Can the same be said about the average Farang that chooses to grace Thailand with his presence?

I think the same goes there too. Most farang I meet in Thailand are a decent sort. We all cringe or laugh when watching one of the lowlife yobs in action but they're everywhere you go. Mexico, Cuba, Tenerife, London, Auckland, etc, etc...

[qwertz]

It doesn't take long in a thread like this before cynicism about the opposite sex creeps in. I've spoken to innumerable guys in LOS and elsewhere who don't trust a certain nationality because they were deceived, tricked, jilted etc. Women are still my favourite interest, not just for sex, that's the easy part but just because they're - what they are and I like their company. I've rarely been cheated by a woman so maybe they read that in my attitude. So I don't distinguish between nationalities; I believe people are what they are due to their circumstances and this doesn't affect their basic goodness, or less commonly their badness. I also think that many Thais don't understand or recognise the effects of culture shock on farangs and why many behave oddly when hit with an orgy of the senses.

Edited March 30, 2007 by qwertz