Easy To Get Her In ....how To Get Her Out ?

[larvidchr]

/quote(TAWP 2007-04-07 17:24:27)

Pay her for living with you != girlfriend. There are other terms for it, and yes the word 'girlfriend' is used in the name for it, but it isn't in the sence we are used too in the west.

/quote]

Thats absolutely true, it is called a "wife" in the west, and if she is not working, she takes as a minimum 50% of your income, if and when she leaves you, she takes 50% of everything else too. obviusly she is not with you for the money, it is true love!!! this is after all the west.

Continuing this logic that I now have seen in several posts, indirectly/directly, naturally makes the Thai girl that recives 4000 bath a. m. a bigger hore, than your decent and honest west wife you "only pay" 60-70-80 thousand bath a month.

Give me a brake you "I have never paid anything guys". I have been west married a couple of times during a longish life, and both my west wifes have been a lot more expensive than my present Thai "hore" if that is how you insists she should be named. But then again the west wifes where all about true love!!!!!!!

Oh great! Here we go again!

Yeah, yeah, yeah! We all know: Western women = bad, Thai women = good. It has been "proven" again & again by many well-adjusted, unbigoted, balanced men with no chip on their shoulder, no axe to grind & definitely no lasting resentment to their ex partners. It has also been proven that said men had absolutely no part in the break-up of said partnerships in farangland, it was all the fault of their harpies of wives! Who, incidentally, one and all, screwed these poor blameless men out of lots of money.

We all know this. It's been said so often, it must be true.

Isn't it time to change the record, now?

BTW, "hore" (sic) is not a very nice way to describe a woman.

Yes you are abselutely right it is not a nice word, wich is the point I was trying to make if you read my post carefully.

Another point I was trying to make was, sharing wich is the used term in the west, in the west that makes a woman your wife/girlfriend, doing it here in Thailand makes a woman something entirely different apparently!?

But the fact remains the same where ever you are, you provide something, the other part provide something, and together it is a symbiosis.

I love women in the west ,east ,south and north, and loved my exwifes dearly, I still speak with both of them every week and you can belive it or not, but one of them still wants me back.

Kind regards.

[bonobo]

I am somewhat new to this forum, but I have been coming to Thailand for quite some time.

But is this "paying" for a girlfriend common?

I have never paid for my current g/f except for a plane ticket to visit me in Jordan while I was stationed in Iraq.  Yes, I almost always pay for our food and such, but she pays for movies, and once she paid for a girl in Pattaya to join us for the evening (yes, she is a go

d girl!)

I did volunteer to pay the deposit on an apartment for a former g/f because I was tired of bringing her home before midngiht to her aunt's house, but that was a one-time shot.

About 4 or 5 years ago, I had a young factory girl who wanted to be my g/f, and when I said yes, she happily gave me her apartment bill, which I promptly gave back (and she was no longer my g/f just as promptly).  But that is the only incident I can think of which seemed to fit this bill.

Am I completely out-of-touch, or is this common practice?

[Maizefarmer]

I am not a very young man and not born yesterday, use to keep my eyes open wide, especially in Thailand.

I have a girlfriend living with me for about one year. Once I realized that I was frequently missing money from my wallet and out of my shirts and pants.

She said she did not take any money from me.

I paid her 4000 thb a month next to her 3000 thb income from working in a restaurant.

The good feeling has gone and I asked her to leave my house. She does not want to leave, anyway not in an friendly way.

I have been told by some of my friends that if a girl lives with you for more than a year she has certain right and I will face problems if I kick her out of my house on a unfriendly way.

And that's my plan right now.

Anyone has experience with a situation like this ??

Yes yes - heard it all before - the girl has this or that right after 1 year. In theory - in practise it's a civil matter (cops won't get involved - and certainly will not be knocking at your door to force you to let her back in - if that's what concerns you) - and I have yet to see any lawyer accept a case like this - who's going to pay him? - the girl hasn't got the money. he isn't going to take the risk. In reality she will be told, the best thing to do is to move out - simple.

The fact that she does not want to leave says something to me - it says she has no-where else to go, and people who have no where else to go and put their heads down are usualy people who have few friends i.e. I wouldn't take to seriously anything she says about "consequences" - sounds like she is trying to call your bluff.

Throw her out just as you would throw out a troublesome partner back home- don't be intimidated by a live-in thief who betrayed your trust and generosity, and good will - and if thats not enough reason to throw someone out, then nothing is ....

Pack her belongings and put them outside the door, Change the locks (or ask the landlord to change the locks), Notify the landlord why you are doing this (would be suprized if they don't support you).... and simply do not let her back in.

Give her good notice that you are intending to take postive action (have the video camera running discreatly in the corner - post reaction on UTube for all to see)

May be an idea to have some ex-pat friends around that evening - or even go down to the shop have a word with the local beat cops

13th Commandment

Know Thy Partner (preferably before she moves in)

[jayjayjayjay]

Yeah, probably troll

I've never given any money to my girlfriend nor she asked me for any. And usually I keep few thousand in my pockets or on my desk.. during 3 years I've never lost a single baht. Just sometimes if we order food we pay money we can find around - doesn't metter money is hers or mine. I explained to her I prefer to teach her something or pay money to finish some school (like tourist guide) then support her every month for beeing my gf. And it works.. she was working for 2 seasons as a guide and earned 5 times more than I paid for studies and then I had opportunity to give her job by myself. Then I give her % as a salary - because she does 70-80% of all job needed. And she is happy of that and never ask me for more.. and from time to time she takes me to restaurant and pays by herself.

And if not troll... dunno what to advise. My friend takes girls for 1 or 2 nights and he usually tells them he is a doctor, earns a lot of money, blablabla.. but then he never wanna pay at mornings.. he found the way to make them go. Usually he calls some friend, they order food and eat together - of course thai lady becomes hungry (and thai people has to eat RIGHT now) and she is too shy / polite to ask for some food. And they ignore her.. so after while she gives up and go home

But in this case one year together - it's not gonna work. But you can try to not give any money. 3000 THB for thai lady? 3 times per day noodles? No cosmetics? No hygiene stuff? You sure it's her only salary? Did you visit her in this "restaurant"?

bet he's really proud of himself eh

Wish Immigration could scan for a**holes like this...... what a low life human being......

[jeebusjones]

We haven't heard from "bully" in a very long time. Clearly he was just a troll. It's amazing this thread is still going.

[a2396]

You pay someone to be your girlfriend and wonder why you get in trouble?

ALL OF THEM I have encountered here are NOT going to be a girlfriend unless I DO pay them. No money & they are Bye, bye. You must be one young & handsome hunk, if you don't have to offer them any money or other form of compensation. Most other farangs I know have encountered the same "operating rules".

[sriracha john]

For some reason, I wonder if perhaps the two OP's could work out some sort of amicable swap?

I Raise My Voice And She Threatens To Leave...

Edited April 12, 2007 by sriracha john

[kmart]

^^Good idea. Sort of a "Swingers Club" for whining trolls! Problem sorted.

[GuestHouse]

While I think your actions have been unwise in the first place I think asking for advice, rather than struggling with the problem alone is a positive step. (It's a pity we have the usual suspects dishing out the ridicule)

My advice is: Come to terms with the fact that the basis of your relationship is money. Now consider before moving out she needs a place to move to and probably some help setting up with essentials. She may of course choose to share with a friend, so don't get the idea that you must provide her with somewhere else to stay.

But if you accept giving her some financial help and incentive to move out is going to smooth the way, you'll be able to get her out easier.

Once she's out, keep her out, and try not to make the same mistake again.

------

Guys ridiculing the amount the OP is paying presumably believe they are doing better by paying more.

I find that line of thought highly amusing.

[TAWP]

ALL OF THEM I have encountered here are NOT going to be a girlfriend unless I DO pay them. No money & they are Bye, bye. You must be one young & handsome hunk, if you don't have to offer them any money or other form of compensation. Most other farangs I know have encountered the same "operating rules".

Wow...where exactly do you hang out and pick up these girlfriends of yours...?

[a2396]

ALL OF THEM I have encountered here are NOT going to be a girlfriend unless I DO pay them. No money & they are Bye, bye. You must be one young & handsome hunk, if you don't have to offer them any money or other form of compensation. Most other farangs I know have encountered the same "operating rules".

Wow...where exactly do you hang out and pick up these girlfriends of yours...?

I don't exactly "pick them up", I met most through friends or some from internet. No bar girls. Some were students, a few have had no job & needed money. I really don't object to giving them some money, if I am getting a fair & honest relationship in return. Unfortunately, I have found most of them are not honest & lie without fail about previous realtionships or have hidden relationships with other guys (usually Thai). I think the OP is a bit on the low side only offering 4000bht, but that depends on what other "perks" he is taking care of. Usually, trips shopping and buying mobile phones are the usual "add-ons". I am surprised that they will sneer at 6-10,000 bht per month + free apartment, when you consider that many shop clerks, etc only make around 5-6,000. Farangs must be dropping out of trees offering more than that, I assume. Or, maybe they don't like Farangs under any condidtions. I live in a large Issan city.

[Loz]

You can call her as you like, that's not a big deal, but imho people who call a taxi "their car", are a bit weird, just a bit

Brilliant.

And that in a nutshell is why I am single in Los. Every bad experience I have heard of has been a Westerner shacked up with a Thai partner. Very few of the Western males I know who have thai "partners" Have thai friends. They also express a low oppinion of Thais. I have that friends but no GF. Seems to me when thais, Men more than women, think you have come to take the ladies off the market for thai men they don't like it.

Still can't get over the taxi quote. Those "holier than thou" bunch who give their ladies such an abundant allowance must be happy to live with the fact their partner has a relation ship with their wallet and not their heart. But again this is common in the west too.

I know, this is no place for an idealist.