What Should I Expect From This Divorce?

[Up2U]

Laem Thae Khun

You mean "laew tae khun" as in "up to you", right? The way you write it, it seems like "you are really pointed".

Tjena,

I hadn't really checked - wrote it down as I hear it.

But I will change it on your say-so.

(I am a real pointy-head, anyway)

[Scotty]

I have come to the conclusion that I am not going to sign anything, and I am not going to file for a divorce for now, maybe not for a while. I am just going to keep living my life. Ball is now in her court. I have spoken with some of her own thai friends, (my friends too) and they have told me things she is up too, they told me not to give her the divorce, and make it hard on her. I guess she found someone new and he has been doing some shady biz. He found out her email password and changed it on her, and deleting emails ive sent her. i guess he has been keeping her from her friends, and they say they dont even know who she is anymore either. He dont let her go out with her friends, or leave his side. Im sure he is bad mouthing me, and trying his hardest to make her forget about me. This punk ass mother######a wanna be with my wife, says he loves her and everything, what kinda man is this. How you gonna try and take someones wife from another man, especially when im on the other side of the world. And my wife aint no better with her lyin ass, I aint signin shit.

Her friends all say i am much better for her, and he is telling her to get a divorce with me. Funny thing i just got a call from my lawyer who was helpin me get her here, said she should be here next month. I got some other lady who works for the congressman in my state tryin to push her interview sooner.

Im about to write her family a letter and get it translated into Thai, and send it to them and let them know whats on my mind. I wont down talk her too much, just tell them i tried to love her and take care of her and get her here, but she wanna still play the single life. Maybe send her family some money or something, tell them it was nice to have met them, and im sorry but i tried. i dont know.

Is this a good plan, i might just be irrational right now, thats the best plan i can come up with at the moment. Any other ideas, snap some sence into me if you think i should go another route.

[Yohan]

Hi, Scotty,

If you read back some pages, you will see, that this is exactly what I recommended you a while ago.

step 1: Get away from e-mail, it might arrive or not, misunderstood or quickly forgotten.

step 2: send a FRIENDLY mail by letter, to HER, in both written in Thai and English,

not mentioning anything about boyfriends....no accusations....remain calm!

Insist in the letter, that she should write you back - letter, no phone!

step 3: send a FRIENDLY mail by letter, to HER family, and friends and so on, asking how is everything, looking forward for USA .....in THAI and ENGLISH

(to avoid any discussion, like *sorry, I did not understand..*

send these letters every week, and send them 2 times, 1 x ordinary airmail, and 1 x registered.

What is the point out of it?

You will see, what is happening, either the letters are arriving, or are coming back, not deliverable, refused or whatever. Collect of all letters you send, a copy, and collect all letters return to you.

possibility No. 1 (I hope, it will not happen, but be prepared for that step!)

Your wife will not show up for interview, will not reply to your letters.......

In this case contact a lawyer, take all your letter-correspondence and documents, and try to claim annulation of the marriage because of fraud. The court should consider your single-way correspondence.

Do not sign anything about divorce.....It is more complicated, but insist on NULLIFICATION of the marriage (never showed up, never living together....) This is the best way to get ride totally and for ever of her and all her family and never return to that place in your life.

possibility no. 2

Girl shows up - You should be good prepared for this moment too, and re-consider, how you make your marriage working....

By my opinion, it does not make any sense to talk with the girl about her past, up to the moment, she is entering your home. Just forget about it!

But you should prepare some rules, what the girl has to respect in the future, if she wants to keep the marriage for long-term with you. The girl should get some feelings that she depends on you, and not that you depend on her.

I know, some women might now rise their voice, but any weak point (something how much you love her, and how much you missed her....) you mention to a Thai wife about you, might be quickly understood as an invitation by her to do what she likes....(my husband does not care anyway about me.....)

some other remarks:

a-

To be girl, who is a liar is something in Thailand, which is not such a tragical affair. I have not seen yet a Thai girl, who would not tell you a lie.....

An American woman will give you a rude and vulgar respond, if she does not like something, and a Asian girl will just try to escape by being a liar.....

b-

About her boyfriend, and that she is cheating you now.....To tell you in your face:

This IS Thailand...

I do not care, what some people on this forum will tell me now, but this is Thailand, and for sure, Thai women are not famous for being faithful, and for sure, Thai men are also not famous for being faithful.....

Should your girl really show up, the only way to keep your marriage running is to keep a firm eye on her for 24 hours/365 days and always to be near to her....

And again, out of your writing, all what I can say, I do not think, that your girl is such a bad one (I know some, who are much much worse towards a man, who tries his best) -

In your case, I would try it out, and once the girl is separated from all her family, boyfriends AND girlfriends and her living area, she might change her behaviour remarkable....

Good luck!

Johann

[medicinebox]

Bail out mate. She's slept with another man. The marrage is a joke now. And you will be the clown if you get back with her.

I would find it repulsive to think that my wife was blowing another guy. Its well fukked, have some balls and walk away.

Put it this way, if you do get back with her, you will always be thinking what this other guy was physically doing with her, and it will haunt you. Its not healthy for a man to have these thoughts going on and on in his head. You will never be happy.

Good luck.

[Yohan]

Scotty, as you see, two men have two different opinions.

I myself I am not so ...hmmmm complicated. My wife can go to anywhere, can do anything, what she likes....I do not ask her, I do not care.....

She might enjoy and she appreciates a free life-style...I myself also, by the way....

Depends what you expect from a marriage, conservative Christianity orientated USA is very different from free-thinking Japan. Same with Europe and Thailand....

I know this creates often problems among such international couples...

This is an important point you must decide yourself....

If you think, what medicinebox told you, might cause you a problem, then better you should not look for a Thai wife.

Johann