American Joke

The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war-weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?" The French woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my Little Fifi is using that seat?"

The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog.

Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired." The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!"

The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and wailed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.

An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window.

One more quick one..

A man takes his wife to the live stock show.

They start heading down the alley that house all the bulls. The sign

on the first bull's stall states: "This bull mated 50 times last

year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in

a year, isn't that nice!"

They proceed to the next bull and his sign states: "This bull mated

65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This

one mated 65 times last year. That's over 5 times a month. You could learn from this one!"

They proceed to the last bull and his sign reads: "This bull mated

365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That's ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one."

Fed up, the man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and inquire if he

had to shag he same cow every day.