New Wife Advice

[Norv]

A little advice here anyone.

I met my partner on the internet via a dating agency, I went to see her in Khon Kaen a few months after chatting and getting to know her, and stayed at her house.

She has little family and had lived on her own for some five years since her husband a bank manager die leaving her the house.

To keep this short we went on a holiday and ever since have lived together, though during that time I was a little disturbed for want of a better word about her lack of affection, she was pleasant enough and we had a good relationship however after a year and two visits to the UK we got a fiancé visa and as that was about to run out we married.

By this time I really had noticed a lack of commitment to the relationship and a large cost incurred repairing her house. All though she did have a good job and certainly not short of money I have no idea even now married what her business is.

To get to the point here, when we married everything changed we have been married just over a month now and we still have not had sex she says she is too old at 47.

She won't cook now she complains about everything, has cost me a fortune in breakages, when I first met her she could not speak a word of English she can now converse with anyone and use a computer without any problems however I asked her the other day to explain a word in Thai and I was told " I am not a teacher get a book if you want to learn Thai"

I have attempted to talk to her about this and she just tells me how lucky I am that I don't have to pay family but still owe her friend 10,000 B for our initial introduction and recently I am told that I am to help female family member to find a falang to marry, Oh but first her friends by sponsoring then to the UK.

The last straw was when I tried to ask her why she did not want to have an intimate relation ship with me, and she replied by pulling of her pants and taking off her soiled tampon rolled it up and walked out ignoring me.

Well that is it she was not like that before what do I do, I have had enough and want out now I have had enough.

Just sound stupid to get a divorce after 1 month.

Anyone have an idea as I am too mixed up for clear thought I have known her over a year and were fine together.

I feel the best is to cancel the Settlement visa application and pack her off home although she says she will lose face and cannot go back to the same town.

Cheers for any advice

[nobber9999]

A little advice here anyone.

I met my partner on the internet via a dating agency, I went to see her in Khon Kaen a few months after chatting and getting to know her, and stayed at her house.

She has little family and had lived on her own for some five years since her husband a bank manager die leaving her the house.

To keep this short we went on a holiday and ever since have lived together, though during that time I was a little disturbed for want of a better word about her lack of affection, she was pleasant enough and we had a good relationship however after a year and two visits to the UK we got a fiancé visa and as that was about to run out we married.

By this time I really had noticed a lack of commitment to the relationship and a large cost incurred repairing her house. All though she did have a good job and certainly not short of money I have no idea even now married what her business is.

To get to the point here, when we married everything changed we have been married just over a month now and we still have not had sex she says she is too old at 47.

She won't cook now she complains about everything, has cost me a fortune in breakages, when I first met her she could not speak a word of English she can now converse with anyone and use a computer without any problems however I asked her the other day to explain a word in Thai and I was told " I am not a teacher get a book if you want to learn Thai"

I have attempted to talk to her about this and she just tells me how lucky I am that I don't have to pay family but still owe her friend 10,000 B for our initial introduction and recently I am told that I am to help female family member to find a falang to marry, Oh but first her friends by sponsoring then to the UK.

The last straw was when I tried to ask her why she did not want to have an intimate relation ship with me, and she replied by pulling of her pants and taking off her soiled tampon rolled it up and walked out ignoring me.

Well that is it she was not like that before what do I do, I have had enough and want out now I have had enough.

Just sound stupid to get a divorce after 1 month.

Anyone have an idea as I am too mixed up for clear thought I have known her over a year and were fine together.

I feel the best is to cancel the Settlement visa application and pack her off home although she says she will lose face and cannot go back to the same town.

Cheers for any advice

[El Taco Loco]

Don't meet someone from a dating agency. It sounds like she is in it for the british passport, due in about 3 years. Not even a year together and 1 month of marriage? Null and void the marriage. It has not been consumated and therefore you can insist on it.

Must be very difficult for you.

Good luck.

[helicoptor]

Jeez and I thought I had it bad

The marriage has not been consumated so get out now, cut your losses before you suffer any more heartache, both emotionally and financially, Im sure you can get a quickie divorce.

BTW how old are you?

[gusG]

Cut your losses and run.It's not going to get any better(or easier), so get out now. You've been had.

Edited May 16, 2007 by gusG

[Gary A]

It sounds like a one way street. She expects everything from you and gives you nothing in return. Being used is not a good feeling for sure. FACE? She does nothing to keep you happy and content so why should you care about her face? I'd send her packing as soon as possible. They are NOT all like that.

[DrFisher]

I haven't told many people this mostly because I'm embarrassed but I was married to a Colombian woman a long time ago who I met when I worked in Colombia. She was the sweetest, kindest most considerate woman I ever met. After 2 years we got married and I was going back to the USA and taking my wife with me............. Well, same same she turned into a she devil, she even told me "I only marry with you for papers". As I speak fluent Spanish I listened in on many of her phone conversations (why not my phone bill was $1,000+ per month because she refused to use a phone card because they were for poor people). Needless to say I contacted the American embassy in Colombia and immigration in the USA and offered up taped conversations with which they were fast to deport her from the USA and black list her for 10 years. The US government only charged me $350 for the airfare. Not sure what you can do from the UK but I would suggest you find out before it is too late and you lose any more. Good luck and best wishes.

[abdulrahman]

Don't meet someone from a dating agency. It sounds like she is in it for the british passport, due in about 3 years. Not even a year together and 1 month of marriage? Null and void the marriage. It has not been consumated and therefore you can insist on it.

Must be very difficult for you.

Good luck.

Find a good lawyer and do as sniper says,not easy,expensive,but the best way out.

Never go thrugh an Agency!

Best luck.

[Krub]

Don't feel sorry for her possible loss of face.

Cut your losses and get out, the earlier the cheaper it will be.

Speak to a lawyer.

[jayjayjayjay]

Don't feel sorry for her possible loss of face.

Cut your losses and get out, the earlier the cheaper it will be.

Speak to a lawyer.

I'm not marriage expert, actually the opposite, but cut your losses, send her home, and start looking again. You obviously are not in love, or at least she is not. Expect some trauma, deal with it, and enjoy seaching some new green fields...

[lannarebirth]

Get the marriage annulled! Today!

[Oleg_Rus]

he comes the fun :

1. go to google.com

2. Select from this heartbreaking story this paragraph:

She won't cook now she complains about everything, has cost me a fortune in breakages, when I first met her she could not speak a word of English she can now converse with anyone and use a computer without any problems however I asked her the other day to explain a word in Thai and I was told " I am not a teacher get a book if you want to learn Thai"

3. Feed it to Google

4. Have fun !

Edited May 16, 2007 by Oleg_Rus

[teacup]

Hide all your assets in a safe place first,....then run!

[mmushr00m]

Get it anulled and her deported.

She suckered you.....

... from not speaking english to being to being conversant and net savvy just like that???

...you owe her friend 10k for intoduction? what's her cut?

...sponsoring her friends? lemme tell you, she's probably charging her friends for this service.

...whats her business?? probably internet dating and marraige where she charges farangs looking for a thai gf/wife and also charges thais looking for a farang bf/husband.

...she'll lose face? Face is give and take, she does not give you face so why give her face?

just tell immigration that you think she's running the marriage visa scam and they'll do the dirty work for you.

Edited May 16, 2007 by mmushr00m

[Levent]

To keep this short we went on a holiday and ever since have lived together, though during that time I was a little disturbed for want of a better word about her lack of affection, she was pleasant enough and we had a good relationship however after a year and two visits to the UK we got a fiancé visa and as that was about to run out we married.

By this time I really had noticed a lack of commitment to the relationship and a large cost incurred repairing her house. All though she did have a good job and certainly not short of money I have no idea even now married what her business is.

I don't want to sound mean here, but I am wondering why you married her if, as you say, by that time you knew there was a lack of commitment to the relationship from her side. Other than that, I agree with everyone else here. Stop this relationship before any more damage is done.

[Shrubbery]

Hmmmm.

Why marry her if you had already noticed a lack of commitment from her ?

How can anyone with the slightest bit of common sense marry someone when they don't know what line of business they are in ?

Why do you owe her friend 10K for the "introduction" when it was through an on-line dating agency ?

How were you able to chat initially if she could not speak English ?

[Maigo6]

A little advice here anyone.

I met my partner on the internet via a dating agency, I went to see her in Khon Kaen a few months after chatting and getting to know her, and stayed at her house.

, when I first met her she could not speak a word of English she can now converse with anyone and use a computer without any problems however I asked her the other day to explain a word in Thai and I was told " I am not a teacher get a book if you want to learn Thai"

When you met her she could not speak a word of English, you cannot speak Thai, and she seemed to have difficulty with conversing via computer.

How did you chat with her for a few months getting to know her when you cannot communicate ?

TROLL ALERT!!!

Edited May 16, 2007 by Maigo6

[Etrigan]

Assuming you are not a troll (noted that you only joined today!!!!), then you are a bit of a plonker! However, advice from TV will be the same - get out now before it gets worse.

I would also like to remind you that Wayne Bobbet isn't a new phenomenon for Thai women, and you might want to consider your safety when you sleep. Protect yourself and get far away from her.

Sorry about the "plonker" part!

[Robski]

You live and learn, we don't all get everything right first time.

You can't change her, but you can change yourself.

Move on and don't blame yourself, she would have been like this anyway.

[Shrubbery]

"she replied by pulling of her pants and taking off her soiled tampon rolled it up"

How does one roll up a tampon ?

[Maigo6]

Another Troll post aimed at inciting Thai women bashing ( what's new ? ).

norv isn't quite good enough yet though, he slipped up on the language and communication issue, yet no doubt there will be a few pages of Thai women bashing from the experts here, whilst norv sits back and gloats.

N or V

nausea or vomiting

I feel that way too norv.

[leisurely]

Trip trap trippity trap.

I seriously doubt anyone would display their soiled menstrual mopper upper, least of all a Thai woman.

[a2396]

Another Troll post aimed at inciting Thai women bashing ( what's new ? ).

norv isn't quite good enough yet though, he slipped up on the language and communication issue, yet no doubt there will be a few pages of Thai women bashing from the experts here, whilst norv sits back and gloats.

N or V

nausea or vomiting

I feel that way too norv.

You could be correct (troll). It sounds pretty far out to me. However, there are some "jeckell & hyde" ladies out there. I can believe the bit regarding the communication, because it is likely that the dating agency/matchmaker was doing the communicating via email, etc. He also probably paid much more than 10,000 bht for this service. Several I know here are asking 100,000 bht, if one marries a lady connected to them. I can't believe he did not make enough inuiries to determing what her business is & other common sense issues. After 3 years here I see a lot of scamming & swindling of Farangs who are seeking a Thai lady. My # 1 advice is that if they are refusing sex, something is "fishy" with the whole relationship & don't listen to the "conservative Thai lady has no sex before marriage" B.S. Many of them have ben having sex on a regular basis as teenagers, usually with the local boys.

[solent01]

So you have been together for a year before getting married, even though you have not made love together? <deleted>? Maigo6 may well be right, sounds like a TROLL to me too

[petecooper]

What would have possesed the OP to marry this woman in the first place? I'm baffled by the stupid things some people do.

[bina]

ROTFLMAO

made my morning!!!!!!!!!

if not a troll, then how absolutely pathetic and stupid can some men be:

dating agency, woman doesnt speak the language, u dont know anything about her.???????? THEN u marry her??????? what did u marry her for? convenience, cooking/cleaning? housemaid? then u should have made it clear in the marriage contract that this is a marriage of convenience... and if i recall there are several men on thaivisa who have these kind of marriages and have said so upfront but respect and care about their parnter (although being in love wasnt mentioned by them), nor was it mentioned by u...

gimme a break....... u feel stupid to divorce after one month??? i'd feel stupider for having gotten married in the first place......and u only suckered yourself in...... she did what she did, and got what she got no problem....

my dogs are looking at me as i laugh outloud... nope, no thai women bashing, just wondering how it is that men are so so so stupid and childish... she threw a tampon at u? dont know many thai women using tampons let alone throw one at a man, a knife is usually the weapon of choice if u believe the news reports and screwed over husband threads here..........

bina

[blizzard]

time to bash the guy guys..................!

the girl is only doing what she supposed to do. get money out of the goofy farang.

of course not all of them like this, just too darn many.

anyone in europe ever heard the saying............. your chances of having a meaningful realationship with a thai girl where both parties contribute and both love each other are slim and none and slim has just left the building.

Edited May 16, 2007 by blizzard

[old wanderer]

time to bash the guy guys..................!

your chances of having a meaningful relationship with a Thai girl where both parties contribute and both love each other are slim and none and slim has just left the building.

Boy, every time I read stories like this, I realize how lucky I am to have found a really good woman 10 years ago. It took me 4 other wives to quit being a trophy hunter, and just settle for somebody with Chia Dee....now I finally have my Quan Tah..... Out of all the people I know, there are only 4 with long term marriages to Thai women. The rest just blew up after a few months to a few years.

Best advise I have seen is to contact the Immigration people and lay out your case on how you have been scammed in this marriage. Do not spend any time discussing it with her, actions are the truth, not words. believe your eyes.....ignore what you hear.

[Dudley23]

I must admit I am in totally amazement by this story,

Advice, hmmmm so many things I could say, get out is the simpliest.

What were you thinking, what were you looking for???

Must admit it bought a smirk to my face. Been here myself two months, and you have to admit there are a lot more prettier Thai girls then our western counter parts, but in reality not to have sex for a year, not understand each other at start and not communicate. Could never in my life work out how a relationaship could start.

Live and Learn, I know I have been everyday here, and please do not give my details to her Sister.

Must Admit enjoyed the story good read.

[Artisi]

If you're not a troll and actually in this marraige - pull the plug today - or just be the walking ATM machine that is expected - and if you don't, don't bother complaining any further cause we ain't really sorry for you any further.