Streetsmarts - How To Acquire Some

[canadiangirl]

None of us farangs techinically should have social connections when we first come here, and if you don't work, are not a man who is automatically given some social power, what or where can those connections come from, especially when you only meet cheating jerks who only want whatever money they can get out of you?

Hi MTW, good to see another farang woman on TV! :-)

I'm faced with a similar problem than you have. Someone recently mentioned how sometimes what we interpret as cultural issues are really social class issues. I think back home, we typically associate with people from a similar background, (in my case, middle-class university students and young hipster computer programmers), but when we come to Thailand, the people that are most approachable to a foreigner, that we tend to meet first, are working-class people. And I really don't mean this as any kind of slag to the working class, but I think that people from different classes sometimes have a hard time understanding each other.

Although a lot of interesting, adventurous, intelligent people move to Thailand, it does also get its share of losers who can't make it back home (as we can see on some the posts here). So I have a similar dilemna of -- how do I make friends in Bangkok of the same quality as back home --- I'm not a snob at all, and I like talking to all kinds of different people from all walks of life, but there's dodgy, and then there's dodgy.

But I wonder, if you're someone from a moneyed background, if you wouldn't be more happy trying to make friends and connections with the Thai hi-so, or the wealthier expats? Just get involved in whatever activities they do, charities, hobbies, etc. Maybe the various chambers of commerce? I was asking around about horseback-riding in BKK, and there was someone who rides with her entire family in BKK, keeps 3 horses. I'm guessing she is from a different social circle than people who are in Nana every night.

If you find any good ideas, let me know. Me, I'm trying to see if there are any alumni from my uni in BKK, or friends of friends back home, and I'm going to try to join hobbies in BKK that I do back home. We'll see if it works! :-)

[canadiangirl]

Some valid points from you and MTW, Robski.

But I don't think people there do mention commission out loud; they'd be shooting themselves in the foot.

By the same rule, it wasn't irrelevant for MTW to explain it in some detail to CG who was after all asking for such input.

I could quote some examples too but they're not as relevant as MTW's if CG should plan to live there and pick up some smarts in advance.

Are there ways of distinguishing between friendship vs. financial interests masquerading as friendship that are specific to Thailand?

Edited June 22, 2007 by canadiangirl

[qwertz]

The handshake offered by total strangers.

Invitations to parties, dinner etc.

And the ones who insist too much that they're not after your money.

"Up to you" is also a common ploy, although not always insincerely meant.

As I posted before, many "agents" and middlemen there are shy of mentioning commission because we're likely to understand too well and politely refuse the offer of "friendship".

I should stress, CG, that many of these scams are old hat and not exclusive to Thailand.

[jdinasia]

The handshake offered by total strangers.

Invitations to parties, dinner etc.

And the ones who insist too much that they're not after your money.

"Up to you" is also a common ploy, although not always insincerely meant.

As I posted before, many "agents" and middlemen there are shy of mentioning commission because we're likely to understand too well and politely refuse the offer of "friendship".

I should stress, CG, that many of these scams are old hat and not exclusive to Thailand.

and it does not take a mental giant to avoid most of them

CG ... no need to be paranoid. many people in Thailand will have a story to tell regarding getting burned once. Just the same as in Canada, the USA, or Belgium.

A woman in Kamala offered ro find me a maid (once a week for 2 hours or less) for 500 baht each week. I politely declined. Why? 1) I did not ask her to find me a maid. She volunteered. and 2) I know what going rates are and am not a task master! I went up to the place I often have lunch and whilst talking to a few people brought it up. I now have a maid that comes in once a week for 250 baht per time. Note: I never got upset ... or felt threatened or abused because someone wanted to help me out ... (and make some $) I just said no!

There is a quote most often attributed to P.T. Barnum .... it is right. (google it )

[qwertz]

The commission bit is way of life there.

For instance, I always use the same hotel in Phuket and call in advance.

If I don't tell the taxi driver I've booked, he'll demand a commission for bringing me there.

The same applies if you ask him to find a hotel for you.

Re. JD's comment, even your neighbours are likely to tack on a finder's fee for doing a simple "favour" which at home would be treated as a neighbourly gesture and no strings attached.

So wherever possible, don't entertain arrangers if you can do it yourself; there's no guarantee that the favour is free.

[canadiangirl]

The commission bit is way of life there.

For instance, I always use the same hotel in Phuket and call in advance.

If I don't tell the taxi driver I've booked, he'll demand a commission for bringing me there.

The same applies if you ask him to find a hotel for you.

Re. JD's comment, even your neighbours are likely to tack on a finder's fee for doing a simple "favour" which at home would be treated as a neighbourly gesture and no strings attached.

So wherever possible, don't entertain arrangers if you can do it yourself; there's no guarantee that the favour is free.

Ah, I get it. Thanks!