How To Avoid People

[ozymandious]

Other than kvetch about the problem, here are some things you can do about it.

Some I do, others are just thrown in for fun. See if you can decipher which is which...

So when greeted by your favorite "non-nondescript-well-dressed-south-asian-of-ambiguous-ancestry"

Here's what you can do to avoid them.

Walk straight ahead hands in pockets head looking at the ground talking to your self like you're agitated.

Bonus points if can throw in a body or head twitch. a good krick in the neck and lip twitch will take you far.

as your walking done the street and the hand comes out from one of the side shops with the "hello friend" let a big sneeze rip into both your hands. Be shure to put your back into it and lurch forward. Let the saliva flow.

Fake a cold and be constantly be blowing your nose in to a too worn tissue or handkerchief. the won't want to touch you.

Pick you nose, get it good and up there, the more knuckles you can fit in the more bonus points

Offer them presents from you, as if you were in kindergarten, lift up your shirt pick you belly button take out the lint and say "here, a present for you my friend," pick the lint out of your pockets and offer it as a gift.

Bite you fingernails off an offer as a gift.

NOTE I suggest you do either the nose picking or the finger nail thing but not both, or for god sakes do it in the correct order.

As you walk by and they try to talk to you fake a foreign language (this one works better with a friend who's in on the joke) Start speaking like the Swedish chef from the Muppets and every thing will be meatballs and strudel

Remove clothing. Yours, theirs, it doesn't matter. Do what you think would be most unnerving. Remember. You don't want to be around this person any longer, so get them freaked out. But be sure to know and note what sexual persuasion your target is of. This tactic, used foolishly, can result in more discomfort and awkwardness for the reader, if performed improperly.

Kick them. Kick guys in the nuts. Kick girls wherever they look sensitive. I don't promote physical violence, but I'll be damned if it never fails to stop your conversation right then and there, and become a humorous anecdote for future use.

Always have both your hands occupied, be sure to have in your hands 2 shopping bags, 2 beers and if you can swing it 2 women. (try to be sure they're women )

Go around looking like the type of person would never own a suit, look like a total looser wannabe dushe-bag. in other words look like this

[kratindaeng]

just ignore them for ######s sake, is it that hard? For those who feel a little intimidated by a guy wearing a turban selling fake armani suits, I suggest you get some balls and grow up...JD will tell you a few tips here below.......and he will tell you to smile and politely reply with ........

Edited May 30, 2007 by kratindaeng

[jdinasia]

smile and politely reply in Thai something like "I have a suit thank you"

but basically just let it go and don't whine

[Lucifer]

Other than kvetch about the problem, here are some things you can do about it.

Some I do, others are just thrown in for fun. See if you can decipher which is which...

So when greeted by your favorite "non-nondescript-well-dressed-south-asian-of-ambiguous-ancestry"

Here's what you can do to avoid them.

Walk straight ahead hands in pockets head looking at the ground talking to your self like you're agitated.

Bonus points if can throw in a body or head twitch. a good krick in the neck and lip twitch will take you far.

as your walking done the street and the hand comes out from one of the side shops with the "hello friend" let a big sneeze rip into both your hands. Be shure to put your back into it and lurch forward. Let the saliva flow.

Fake a cold and be constantly be blowing your nose in to a too worn tissue or handkerchief. the won't want to touch you.

Pick you nose, get it good and up there, the more knuckles you can fit in the more bonus points

Offer them presents from you, as if you were in kindergarten, lift up your shirt pick you belly button take out the lint and say "here, a present for you my friend," pick the lint out of your pockets and offer it as a gift.

Bite you fingernails off an offer as a gift.

NOTE I suggest you do either the nose picking or the finger nail thing but not both, or for god sakes do it in the correct order.

As you walk by and they try to talk to you fake a foreign language (this one works better with a friend who's in on the joke) Start speaking like the Swedish chef from the Muppets and every thing will be meatballs and strudel

Remove clothing. Yours, theirs, it doesn't matter. Do what you think would be most unnerving. Remember. You don't want to be around this person any longer, so get them freaked out. But be sure to know and note what sexual persuasion your target is of. This tactic, used foolishly, can result in more discomfort and awkwardness for the reader, if performed improperly.

Kick them. Kick guys in the nuts. Kick girls wherever they look sensitive. I don't promote physical violence, but I'll be damned if it never fails to stop your conversation right then and there, and become a humorous anecdote for future use.

Always have both your hands occupied, be sure to have in your hands 2 shopping bags, 2 beers and if you can swing it 2 women. (try to be sure they're women )

Go around looking like the type of person would never own a suit, look like a total looser wannabe dushe-bag. in other words look like this

And how do you stop dic%heads like this comming to Thailand.

Please keep 'em in your own country.

[ozymandious]

Guys, you do realize that the post was a tung and cheek joke right?

The sarcasm and flippant tone doesn't come across well in text.

Honestly I usually just keep smiling and walking.

Hope the post made someone laugh.

I was going to suggest others add their crazy ways to get out of the 'suit' jam. But it appears this board has run it's course.

[DirkGently]

Fuk a duk JD, stop being so right all the time. How do you fit so much rightness into a day? With 6000+ post of pure rightness to your name my mind boggles at how you have time to eat.

OZYMANDIOUS< I thought your post was funny and had the correct amount of tounge and cheek.

Personally I do the i-pod thing. I just point at my ears and yell, a-la Dom Jolly style, "I can;t here you".

My second way of doing it and this takes some practice. When approached. Stop! Look stunned. Look down at your feet and maybe inspect the sole of one foot. While maintaning stunned look. Look back at him as if he has just asked if he can feed pencils to your goat. Walk away. For extra points mutter in some alien language.

[jdinasia]

Fortunately to avoid the trolls here .... all you have to do is be IN Thailand

Edited May 31, 2007 by jdinasia

[ozymandious]

feed pencils to your goat. Walk away. For extra points mutter in some alien language.

[DirkGently]

As ever JD you are right! The best place to be is In Thailand. The way you post in such utter rightness astounds me.

Ozy, I do actually do this. Along with showing him my watch or pointed at something over the road. Anything but a response he has encoutered before. However, there is one constant. You MUST look at him in total shock!

I like to shoo the Pantip sexy movie guys away with a sheet of paper with Thai script saying "no thankyou" and I hold it right up against his nose. I love it.