People Say The Darndest Things

[sbk]

Sometimes I do wonder if people think before they speak.

Last night we went to the funeral of an elderly local Muslim lady. Whole family is Muslim but everyone in the neighborhood went. So, my husband and I are sitting there with some local people (Buddhists) and one lady says "Is this pork curry?" Everyone at the table looked at her kind of slack-jawed and finally another lady said, "They are Muslim, do you really think it's pork curry?" Everyone laughed, the first lady looked a little embarrassed (she does know the family well, after all) and muttered some poor excuse.

But it reminded me of all the dumb things people say that make me wonder if they've forgotten to turn their brain on.

Like the young tourists that asked me if people owned land here. Amazing.

[eek]

Dont know why I but I always remember this one:

I met an an American girl in Glasgow train station once and got into a conversation, We ended up talking about fav sitcoms.

I mentioned one (that was from America) that i loved, and she looked at me in suprise and said "You get American TV here??"...

.."er yes".

(Heck, we even have electricity in Scotland too you know lol)

[bino]

When I was in my twenties, I worked in the US Virgin Islands at a large resort as front desk / concierge / guest services. The resort was a landmark on the island, and many cruise ship passengers would visit the resort during their day in port. It was an incredible job, in that I got to meet people from every corner of the globe every day. Cruise ship passengers and resort guests would approach me with questions about the island and the city, typically wanting to know about beaches and tours, and wanting to know where to get good deals on jewelry, electronics and other duty free items.

They also asked a lot of incredibly stupid questions. At the end of each day, I would meet with my colleagues for a cold beer, and we would exchange stories about the day. We had a long standing contest where we would try to out-do each other with stupid questions, telling each other what the tourists had asked during the day.

The most often asked question was: "Do you live here?" In reality, I would answer politely and tell the tourists: "Yes, I do. How can I help you?" However, in the back of my mind, I always wanted to answer that "I don't live here, I fly here every day from Miami to answer your questions!"

More than once I was asked: "Does this island go all the way to the bottom?" I couldn't help myself in this situation. My favorite answer was "No! It floats! As a matter of fact, the cruise companies save money on fuel, because we tow the island up to your ship at night." This reply never failed to leave the tourists awestruck, with an amazed look on their faces. After several seconds I would start laughing and tell them that I was only joking, and tell them that the island does indeed go all the way to the bottom.

One of the unique stupid questions that was ever asked of me was from a woman who came from New Jersey. She told me that she didn't like the salty ocean water, and asked if there were any fresh water beaches on the island that she could visit and swim at. As it happened, one of the barrier islands enclosing the harbour was called "Water Island". I explained to her that Water Island had fresh water beaches, knowing full well that the island was mostly private, and there would be no way she could get there to see for herself.

The absolutely best stupid question came from a couple who were from a town in my Canadian Province, and were staying at the hotel. When they learned that I was from the same area, they would seek me out during their stay for all different kinds of information. One morning, they saw me in the restaurant eating my breakfast, and the wife came over to ask where she could buy Mason Jars. I knew right away what she wanted; Mason Jars are the local brand of empty self sealing jars used for home canning in Canada. The empty jars come in boxes of 12 or 24, to be filled up with jam, jelly, salmon, or any fresh food and boiled to create a vacuum tight seal.

I couldn't figure out what she could possibly want these for, as I couldn't imagine her canning mangoes in her hotel room to carry home. When I asked her, she replied that she "wanted to take home every color of the water from the ocean." For once, I was the one who was astounded and speechless. However, I didn't want to burst her bubble, so I told her where to get the empty jars.

Edited June 11, 2007 by bino

[mcd]

When I asked her, she replied that she "wanted to take home every color of the water from the ocean." For once, I was the one who was astounded and speechless.

brilliant!!

[Luckydog]

I was walking along Beach Rd I think it's called and a lovely young Lady I had never set eyes on before asked "Where you go?". I explained that I was going to my Hotel room to which she said "I go with you?"

I thanked her profusely and walked on.....but do you know what Fellas. I reckon, if I had played my Cards right, I could have done things to her........

[Paulbangkok]

I once employed a young girl in the U.K, just out of school and eager to learn but unfortunately as it turned out terminally useless.

On the day I had to let her go she took it well but insisted that promised "I wouldn't mark it on her permanent record"??

I always found that just a bit bizzare!?!?!?

Edited June 16, 2007 by Paulbangkok

[lazeeboy]

I once employed a young girl in the U.K, just out of school and eager to learn but unfortunately as it turned out terminally useless.

On the day I had to let her go she took it well but insisted that promised "I wouldn't mark it on her permanent record"??

I always found that just a bit bizzare!?!?!?

no problem i can do that ,yer right