Newlyweds

[skipvice]

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband,

although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and

party

with his

old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the

refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12

different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could

think

of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have

frozen glasses..." He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the

wife

interrupted him by saying,

"You want a frozen glass, puppy face?"

She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was

getting

chills just holding it. The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes,

tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are

really

delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out

5

dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets,

mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know...there's swearing, dirty

words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, D**khead? Drink your f***ing beer in your Goddamn

frozen mug and eat your motherf***ing snacks, because you are married

now,

and you aren't going to any f***ing bar! Got it, assh**e?"

.....and, they lived happily ever after.

Now, isn't that a sweet story?

[Paulbangkok]

So true it's almost not funny!!!!

[Crow Boy]

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks.

"You want dirty words, D**khead? Drink your f***ing beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherf***ing snacks, because you are married now, and you aren't going to any f***ing bar! Got it, assh**e?"

.....and, they lived miserably for about 5 years until she dumped him for his best friend and kicked him out of his own home

Now, isn't that a sweet story?

No it's not!!

I read this and had a flash back to my marriage - I need to sit down and wait for my heart to stop racing.

Edited June 15, 2007 by Crow Boy