Men And Women...

[Lucifer]

Men and women...

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so

>much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have

>never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

>

>

>

>FOR EXAMPLE:

>

>

>

>One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.

>

>

>

>Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel

>like it, I just want you to hold me."

>

>

>

>I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

>

>

>

>So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

>

>

>

>"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me

>to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

>

>

>

>She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who

>I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

>

>

>

>Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

>

>

>

>The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with

>her.

>

>

>

>We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed

>department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several

>different very expensive outfits.

>

>

>

>She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them

>all.

>

>

>

>She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a

>pair for each outfit."

>

>

>

>We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of

>diamond earrings.

>

>

>

>Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave

>short of a shipwreck.

>

>

>

>I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis

>bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

>

>

>

>I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

>

>

>

>She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

>

>

>

>Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all

>dear, let's go to the cashier."

>

>

>

>I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel

>like it."

>

>

>

>Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,

>"WHAT?"

>

>

>

>I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're

>just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy

>your shopping needs as a woman."

>

>

>

>And just when she had this look like she wa s going to kill me, I added,

>"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

>

>

>

>Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.... but at least that bitch

>knows I'm smarter than her.