Monday Jokes

[Jamesyboi]

WHAT PART OF YOUR BODY GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST?

The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking

to her class one morning and she asked the question, "When you

die and go to heaven...which part of your body goes first?"

Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."

"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?"

Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together

in front of you and God just takes your hands first."

"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said,

"Sister, I think it's your feet."

The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.

"Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?"

Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom

the other night Mommy had her legs straight up in the air

and she was saying, "Oh ! God, I'm coming!".

If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."

The Nun fainted.

I want to live my next life backwards. You start out dead and get that

out of the way. Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better

every day.

You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension,

then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You

work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You

drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get

ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you

play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, and then... You

spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxurious spa-like

conditions with central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters

every day, and then, you finish off as an orgasm!

I rest my case!!!!

A group of kindergarteners were trying very hard to become

accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they

faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!

"You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them.

She asked John what he had done over the weekend? "I went to visit my Nana."

"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!"

She then asked Mitchell what he had done "I took a ride on a choo-choo."

She said.

"No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words."

She then asked little Alex what he had done? "I read a book," he replied.

"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"

I love this.....

Alex thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said,

"Winnie the S ** T."

[Pink Mist]

winnie the poo

[farangsay]

Quality and originality definitely improving , JB. Keep it up.