Taking My Thai Wife To Live In England

[toasted]

My wife and myself will be leaving to live in England for a few years, and I am somewhat concerned that she is going to be bored out of her mind. I'll be working Monday to Friday, and our eldest will be in school. My wife will be at home looking after our youngest who is just two. My wife doesn't speak a great deal of English, and yet while we'll be living in a medium-sized town with things to do, I am worried that she will find herself bored very quickly. She won't have her gaggle of chums down the road to hang out with, and she doesn't have a hobby, so without understanding British TV, what else is there for her to do? She's an avid reader, but I don't expect she'll find much reading matter in Thai in England. Weekends will be fine, but Moday to Friday worries me.

So, if anyone's got any insights into how to how we should approach this, I would appreciate your input.

[Jet Gorgon]

English language school.

Buy lots of Thai-language books before you go.

Many Thais live in England; she'll find them.

[toasted]

Thank you,Jet, for your constructive ideas. Without wishing to come across as negative, it will be difficult for her to go to a language school to study as she'll be looking after our littl'un, and studying evenings/weekends gives us less time together as a family. We'll certainly be taking lots of Thai language books, but a year's worth would be pretty heavy. Book's are a personal thing, so getting someone to send them over could be hit and miss. Is there a Thai language version of Amazon? I'm sure we'll meet other Thais there, but it just seems to me that hanging out with other Thais isn't making the most of the experience. Also, my wife feels similarly, although her idea of simply looking after our child at home doesn't appear much better.

[oifarang]

TGN-Thai Global Network is a Satellite chanel which is broadcast 24 hours a day and if you get yourself an 80cm-1 metre dish and a digital reciever point it 13% East at the Hotbird satellite your wife will be able to watch Thai telly all day and all night!!!

[Lucifer]

Has she been to the UK?

If not, it might be wise to show her around the UK for a few months, first.

[endure]

You ought to visit your local temple with her sometime after she arrives in the UK. It will give her a chance to meet other Thais. What general area will you be living in?

[observer21]

My wife and myself will be leaving to live in England for a few years, and I am somewhat concerned that she is going to be bored out of her mind. I'll be working Monday to Friday, and our eldest will be in school. My wife will be at home looking after our youngest who is just two. My wife doesn't speak a great deal of English, and yet while we'll be living in a medium-sized town with things to do, I am worried that she will find herself bored very quickly. She won't have her gaggle of chums down the road to hang out with, and she doesn't have a hobby, so without understanding British TV, what else is there for her to do? She's an avid reader, but I don't expect she'll find much reading matter in Thai in England. Weekends will be fine, but Moday to Friday worries me.

So, if anyone's got any insights into how to how we should approach this, I would appreciate your input.

Internet is not to bad for Thai radio and TV channels if you have broadband and decent amount of Ram

[Jet Gorgon]

I'm sure she could take the babe to school with her. She'll be missing out alot if she does not speak English (or maybe Punjabi or Hindi). Is she worried about it? Anyway, forgot to say I am thrilled she likes to read; never saw many Thais reading anything but comics and the daily murder rags. Other suggestions here for Thai tv and radio and temple are great.

Edited June 19, 2007 by Jet Gorgon

[RAZZELL]

Whereabouts in the UK?

As suggested the local temple is a good place to start. Local Thai restaurants sometimes have some "good girls" working in them...

Or post on:

http://www.thailand-uk.com/

RAZZ

[johnsurin]

I will be in the same boat as you. My wife and son are coming over at the end next month.

I am from the north east of Inglandistan, but will be working in Stevenage. I am renting a place for us to stay, while there. Perhaps if you give more details of your location, somebody might be able to help further.

John

Edited June 19, 2007 by johnsurin

[roamer]

At Uni you can spend the whole of your course desperately avoiding those characters who you foolishly made friends with during freshers week when you were feeling lonely, out of place, bewildered.

Coming to the UK can be very much like that if your Thai. In all but the smallest towns Thais manage to seek out other Thais, across the supermarket at 50 paces etc and thats where the problems can begin. A fact of life here is that many are ex bgs, sometimes not so ex, gossip and gambling are common. Many Thais are very cautious about meeting others here, often they have learned by their mistake.

Those who do best here are usually those who have managed to integrate and make non Thai friends. A good starting point are nurseries, kindergartens etc, after that there are always some form of activities your wife could take part in, a lot of places have creches etc.

The ability to get Thai tv here is not necessarily always a good thing. If your wife is going to sit in front of a TV then the integration process would be faster if it was English Tv. Same thing applies to reading....doesn't have to be War & Peace.

And if its at all possible to not go straight back to work leaving wifey at home and instead take her around a bit that also helps.

The Thai festival that takes place in August in London in Battersea Park might cure a little bit of homesickness if you can make it,

Good luck.

[coldcrush]

Hi Toasted,

I have lived in the UK now with my Wife and our Son a year now. I may seem a funny suggestion, but cooking Thai food and learning more about it has been a stronghold on her settling in here (and I love it as well, so its lucky for me). A weekly routine of shopping in the local China Town and finding new innovative ideas for Thai recipes has helped her hold onto her sanity as boredom is easy for Thai people coming here. Being quite reserved in character my Wife does not mingle to well, or more to the piont does not feel like she has to as my family provide and help her where possible. We also intend to go away from time to time travelling and as the summer (what little there is) is upon us we are going to try our hand at camping (all 5 Star kit of course from my mate!) and see different places around UK and EU holidays to see freinds as well. The internet and watching "Thai Lakhorn" online takes up most of the day, sometimes to my amazement how someone can sit at a screen so longand watch TV going through a million emotions all day! I do not believe that watching Thai TV hurts her intergration as people may suggest, Thai people miss their culture as we do ours, so why should they not indulge in it as we do abroad, in my opinion far to much!

As roamer suggests nurseries and play groups are a great place for your Wife and Child to interact, also small fun play areas for kids are good. My Wifes English is great from what it was when we stayed Thailand where we spoke Thai daily rather than English. I feel friendships are important, but we were lucky as in my Friends Thai Wife was here so we had some freetime to go out as we have known each other alongtime.

Depending on your work scope and freetime, family time is important. So goodluck to you and I am sure a routine will come.

Edited June 19, 2007 by coldcrush

[leisurely]

Yes, for your wifes sanity, playgroups are the way to meet people with similar interests. When we first left England for the middle east, I was extremely lonely and bored. Life with a small child is. Then I found a group of mothers in the same boat. I will admit for an English woman it was much easier than if I had been Thai or Senegalese for example, there are more of us. There were women of other nationalities though.

Presumably your youngest child will be starting nursery, that is another good place to meet other people. I would also add that you should encourage her to join in with everything that is on offer. Don't be stand offish (easier said than done in a different language) and invite people to your house too.

Good luck

Leisurely

[wamberal]

My wife is not keen on meeting other Thais.

However, she has made a number of close farang friends, particularly at the local church where she is a member of the craft group. The older ladies just love her, and she has learned a lot about coping here in Australia.

Winter weather is a bit problem even here. I shudder to think what it would be like for a Thai person to survive a British winter.

[toasted]

Thank you one and all for your sympathetic replies. A nursery is of course an excellent idea and a good "in" for my wife to immerse herself in British society. I think this will be the best way for her to quickly improve her language skills also. If she mixes with Thai people a lot at first, she might never really integrate, and there are possible problems along the lines of those that Roamer mentioned. My wife doesn't watch much TV apart from Ma Jung (the Thai music channel), so internet radio is another top idea.

We'll be living in the Cheltenham area, and my wife has visited four or five times, but holidaying and living in a place are very different. I guess we'll find out how much so quite soon!

[DragonQuest]

Keep in mind that if she is bored she might cheat on you(With a zillion english men), you have to think of the worst sometimes, I suggest bring her there first to see if she likes it, dont force her to go if she doesnt like it, if she says shes likes it or wants to try then by all means go, Id keep a hidden camera at home though for security....

[roamer]

Keep in mind that if she is bored she might cheat on you(With a zillion english men), you have to think of the worst sometimes, I suggest bring her there first to see if she likes it, dont force her to go if she doesnt like it, if she says shes likes it or wants to try then by all means go, Id keep a hidden camera at home though for security....

What a trusting soul you must be.

[plachon]

Keep in mind that if she is bored she might cheat on you(With a zillion english men), you have to think of the worst sometimes, I suggest bring her there first to see if she likes it, dont force her to go if she doesnt like it, if she says shes likes it or wants to try then by all means go, Id keep a hidden camera at home though for security....

And if that fails, ask the local museum for loan of a chastity belt, is a useful tip.

[Minburi]

Find the local stores that sell Thai products and veggies. See if there are and local Thai groups and Thai wat/temple close by.

Find the best Calling cards as in cost per minute for calling Thailand.

[plachon]

Medieaval security devices aside, my wife found volunteering in a local charity shop (Oxfam) a useful way of meeting people and learning English at the same time. They're usually stuffed to the gills with sweet little old ladies who will think your wife is an exotic exhibit from the Far East empire and spoil her rotten, while she gets tea, biscuits and free English lessons to boot. Much better than the local adult education centre for real life learning. (Don't forget to ask her to smuggle some jaffa cakes back home for you. )

[Roy Jing]

Keep in mind that if she is bored she might cheat on you(With a zillion english men), you have to think of the worst sometimes, I suggest bring her there first to see if she likes it, dont force her to go if she doesnt like it, if she says shes likes it or wants to try then by all means go, Id keep a hidden camera at home though for security....

DragonQuest what the <deleted> are you talking about. Why would you assume that if someone is bored with where they are living that they would automatically want to cheat on their partner with a zillion people of the opposite sex. Sorry if it's happened to you, but get over it and let other people enjoy their lives. As for the Op your wife can always read the Thai newspapers on the internet each day and as others have mentioned Thai Global Network has a satellite tv that is free to air once you purchase the dish and receiver. Not sure of the price in the UK but in Aus it is only about $300

Roy

[qwertz]

Medieaval security devices aside, my wife found volunteering in a local charity shop (Oxfam) a useful way of meeting people and learning English at the same time. They're usually stuffed to the gills with sweet little old ladies who will think your wife is an exotic exhibit from the Far East empire and spoil her rotten, while she gets tea, biscuits and free English lessons to boot. Much better than the local adult education centre for real life learning. (Don't forget to ask her to smuggle some jaffa cakes back home for you. )

I must agree here, definitely no evening classes.

There's all sorts of torrid goings on there, especially in the English classes.

[markr]

Keep in mind that if she is bored she might cheat on you(With a zillion english men), you have to think of the worst sometimes, I suggest bring her there first to see if she likes it, dont force her to go if she doesnt like it, if she says shes likes it or wants to try then by all means go, Id keep a hidden camera at home though for security....

[technocracy]

Well my wife suffered nearly a year in the UK and her boredom was eleviated by:

1) Karaoke - buy lots of CDs, a MIC and make sure you have an amp and leave her to it she'll sing her heart out!

2) Cooking - my wife has always loved cooking so she was always preparing or cooking - make sure you get the typical thai kitchen equipment!

3) Visiting my mum and dad - fortunately my parents were close enough to walk to so she could go and visit them, obviously it helps if you parents like you wife!

4) Sky TV with the movies - she'll sit and watch anything and everything! She did particularly like Takeshi's Castle, the simpson and Futurerama . . . so we never needed argue over the remote!!

Also as I was fortunate enough to work from home which made life for her that much easier. That said it's far easier now we are back in Lao . . .

[toasted]

Thanks for your continued suggestions everybody. Please keep them coming. My wife's true passion is reading, and I don't think English books will do it for her. She reads about three hours a day, so she'll be needing to top up in the UK with frequency. Any ideas?

I don't want her to develop too much of a liking for TV if possible, and that's quite likely if it's her only connection with Thailand, as it sets a great example for our kids who both pick up books with the same regularity they watch TV or go for the Playstation (in my son's case).

[observer21]

She can make phone calls back to Thailand for very little - keeping intouch with her friends and family will stop here from feeling isolated.  3 pence per minute to a mobile and only 2 pence a minute to a landline.  Cheaper than local UK calls.

If you want the access number just email

[coldcrush]

She can make phone calls back to Thailand for very little - keeping intouch with her friends and family will stop here from feeling isolated.  3 pence per minute to a mobile and only 2 pence a minute to a landline.  Cheaper than local UK calls.

If you want the access number just email

voipdiscount <-------free calls to Thailand and many more.......

[t.s]

Keep in mind that if she is bored she might cheat on you(With a zillion english men), you have to think of the worst sometimes, I suggest bring her there first to see if she likes it, dont force her to go if she doesnt like it, if she says shes likes it or wants to try then by all means go, Id keep a hidden camera at home though for security....

What a trusting soul you must be.

well i think the camera part is wrong on so many levels, but Mr, Quest obviously has chosen the wrong partner in the past. The affair thing is quite valid though

the woman will be removed from her ENTIRE support network. She will lose the one thing that might offer solace, FOOD, and she will be unable to speak the language.

This mean unless she studies (something the OP doesn't seem to be behind because she has her duties in the home) she will live in utter isolation, barley able to complete the simplest transaction.

that makes her vulnerable. simple. If you are not around to offer support dont be surprised when someone does -- given that she doesn't look like little Britain's ting-tong of course

I wouldn't do it to the mother of my child without some acclimatisation and education.

The (thai) mother of my child however speaks English and possesses skill sets that would allow her to work anywhere i could. And she does work.

Edited June 21, 2007 by t.s

[Jimjim]

Have her hang out with some old retired men with nothing better to do but tell old stories. She could learn English better while doing a community service.

[quiksilva]

Skype, then get her hooked on World of Warcraft and she'll never leave the house, the game is more addictive than crack.

The downside is she might end up with bad skin, pale and overweight, but she'll probably still look better than most girls back home

Oh and ship over a container of mama noodles and your set