just a question: wonder why service girls in this bar refer to men no matter what age as "por yai"? as far as i know "por yai" means "grandfather" and i can hardly be one, only 33yo! so why refer to me "dek noi" as "por yai"? "loong"/ uncle makes sense.

Unless they are speaking Isaan, I think they may be saying ผู้ใหญ่ /phuu yai/ which means 'adult' or 'senior'.

In central Thai, the words for grandfather are ปู่ (paternal grandfather) and ตา (maternal grandfather).

My missus reckons that they are either..

1. Showing a great deal of respect for someone they do not know
   
2. Saying it for fun.. joking (you may be a larger guy?)
   

I kind of suspect the latter.. (which could also involve the former)

totster

My missus reckons that they are either..

1. Showing a great deal of respect for someone they do not know
   
2. Saying it for fun.. joking (you may be a larger guy?)
   

I kind of suspect the latter.. (which could also involve the former)

totster

well, they do speak isaan dialect and it is "por yai" they say (sorry don't know how to use thai alphabet on my keyboard), different meaning in isaan slang than in official schoolbook-thai?

totster, i have a similar impression as your missus; to show respect in a way, not a great deal, however, but rather as a joke (i am rather small i must admit). funny somehow that they all address each other with names that reflect family relations; my girlfriend (33) is called "baa"/ aunt, older girls seem to develop into a "yai" at the critical age of 40plus even without being real grannies.

seems to be a kind of slang usage of these words?

funny somehow that they all address each other with names that reflect family relations; my girlfriend (33) is called "baa"/ aunt,

Normally it is not the own age that counts for a married person, but the partner's. So if a woman of 30 years is married to a 40 year old husband who has a 38 year old sister, that sister must call the 30 year old one "bigger sister".

For Isaan: usually the age of a person they have no personal knowledge of is estimated and put into relation.

"ba" (elder aunt) is used for a woman that is the approximate age of the speaker's parents or older

"a" (younger aunt) is for a woman slightly younger than that

"nong or nuu" is reserved for a person the age of the speaker's younger siblings.

According to my experience people in the service sector tend to "downgrade" the age of their customers; so instead of calling somebody an "elder uncle" they would use "elder brother" instead. It is funny that the opposite happens to you. Your girlfriend must be addressed "older aunt" if they call you an "older uncle", they are just being consistent.

However, very often Asians have big problems judging the age of a Farang. I am usually misjudged by 20 years and more! (I wonder where they look, though.... ) Could be your case is one of those.