RueFang Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 Out of the thousands and thousands of farang men with Thai women, married or girlfriends, how many (not literally) are really in love? It's just that there's sooo many male farang with Thai partners (compared to farang women with Thai men) that is it a case of the men wanting to be looked after in ways that foreign women don't or something else? I'm genuinely interested, not asking to get negative feedback. I also don't pass judgement on Thai/farang relationships...each to their own...just inquisitive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdnvic Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 (edited) Out of the thousands and thousands of farang men with Thai women, married or girlfriends, how many (not literally) are really in love? It's just that there's sooo many male farang with Thai partners (compared to farang women with Thai men) that is it a case of the men wanting to be looked after in ways that foreign women don't or something else? I'm genuinely interested, not asking to get negative feedback. I also don't pass judgement on Thai/farang relationships...each to their own...just inquisitive My wife makes me laugh and smile everyday (and I'm a grouchy old bast@rd). I won the lottery the day I met her. Edited July 4, 2007 by cdnvic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qwertz Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 If you consider that of all the farang/Thai marriages or relationships you've noted, at least as many have failed. Many men do indeed target Thai women in their search for an ideal partner, thinking that they will be better served and that all farang women fall short of their requirements. It's a mistake and an illusion to think that a Thai woman will be better than a farang woman. There are good and bad in all races and IMO, the man who thinks he'll land a good, low maintenance, servile wife by just grabbing the first available woman of his fancy is likely to be very disappointed. I suspect that most of the successful partnerships began after the man and the woman took a little time to consider what they were getting into. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TAWP Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 (edited) If you go into a relationship with the wrong intensions it usually ends up badly on the other side... Edited July 4, 2007 by TAWP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qwertz Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 If you go into a relationship with the wrong intensions it usually ends up badly on the other side... The intention is all too seldom based on love and respect. Love is like a a rare and tender plant; it has to be cultivated, nurtured and protected. Respect is the fruit it will bear if it survives. Too many farangs just don't have green fingers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torv Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 I'm going to give an unbiased opinion here, and for the record, I am Thai by ethnicity. A lot of farangs view Thai women as subservient, exotic, and all that. In many cases these are true, and to be honest, how many farangs fell genuinely in love with Thai women without knowing/assuming these qualities. If it weren't for those qualities, there wouldn't be any farangs heading to Thailand to find Thai women in the first place. Meanwhile a lot of Thai women, especially those that farangs like, are more poverty stricken and sometimes see farangs as an outlet to better lives. Along the way to each of their ambitions, they fall in love. Honestly, this is nothing bad aside from giving farangs and Thai women a bad name. This is in the same basica principle as, you would be first attracted to someone by their outer appearances first before their personalities. So there you go. I'm just generalizing this as of course, there are people who meet outside of these criterias also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meemiathai Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 Out of the thousands and thousands of farang men with Thai women, married or girlfriends, how many (not literally) are really in love? I would say as many as those with farang women. That is not many, I supposed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lordofdelusion Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 I'm sure there are probably as many different circumstances as there are relationships. For me, I wasn't looking for a wife. But I have to agree with cdnvic. I won the lottery. Why does anybody get together? With the divorce rate around 50% back home, might pay to look elsewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
November Rain Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 (edited) With all due respect, does it matter whether it's "love", or not? If people go into it wanting something different (stability, financial security, someone to look after them, whatever the criteria) and both parties get what they want from the relationship, does it really make any difference to them whether thay feel a grand passion for each other? I've never been in a relationship without love. I've ended relationships where the love has gone out of them, my love has not been reciprocated, or my love has been betrayed. But love is a primary requirement for me. I don't need someone to take care of me - I'm very independent. I don't need someone to give me financial stability. It would be nice, sure, but I'd have a relationship with a poor man as soon as I would with a rich one. Love is important to me - but not everyone has the same priorities as me. If two people are in a relationship & are getting what they each want from that relationship & are both happy, who are we to question that? Good luck to all of those that are happy in their relationships - whether those relationships are based on "romantic love" or not. Edit - typo Edited July 4, 2007 by November Rain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 My wife makes me laugh and smile everyday (and I'm a grouchy old bast@rd). I won the lottery the day I met her. That makes two of us, but not so old Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark henry Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 I think this is a complex topic, after all what is Love? it means different things to us all. I'm married to a Thai and i can say in all honesty i'm not head over heals in love and i'm pretty sure it's the same for her but love is not always a good basis for a successful relationship or at least it's not the only thing. I too had this idea about Thai women being gentle, wanting to take care of their man, doing the house work and so on (& most importantly not having all that emotional baggage western women so often have)...well it's total nonsense, yes she is a little bit of all that but she's also stubborn as hel_l and a temper that can turn a chap to jelly in seconds. And perhaps she had similar misconceptions about me/western men taking good care of her, having money (the latter she new i did'nt have!). However,all that said i'm a lot happier than i used to be, i have a good wife a lovely Son and being married to Thai has definately opened up a total new world for me and one that i love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thai_narak Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 i see some farang that they cannot even speak to their thai wives... is this love??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meemiathai Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 My wife makes me laugh and smile everyday (and I'm a grouchy old bast@rd). I won the lottery the day I met her. That makes two of us, but not so old There are 3 now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meemiathai Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 i see some farang that they cannot even speak to their thai wives... is this love??? This still can be love. Language is just a tool to communicate. If you don't have it, you can use something else. I guess deaf and dumb people can fall in love too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soundman Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 I don't think thai farang relationships can be classified as the same for every individual. I think there are many stories behind each one, each different. On one end of the spectrum you have "mail order brides". On the other end couples that end up married after much the same courting process that would be considered the norm. in Western countries. And everything in between, from trophy wives to sub-serviant homemakers, from the partner of my dreams to the person I just like hanging with. Everybody has different reasons for marriage. One common mistake I keep hearing about is the partners involved in thai farang marriage not living up to expectations or radically changing from their pre marriage dis-postion. Both partners are equally responsible for making marriage work. While we are on the subject of sub-serviance, I can tell you that not all thai women fit this mold. My wife can't cook, won't clean, blows the weekly budget on whatever current fad takes her fancy, gambles, smokes, doesn't drink, is more headstrong & beligerant than most males & is very scary when I come home from the pub late & pissed & she's at the door with a .38 in her hand. Still, as cdn put it, couldn't have been luckier that day 11 years ago she walked into my club in Australia & happened to know a mutual friend who introduced us. Soundman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkmadness Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 very scary when I come home from the pub late & pissed & she's at the door with a .38 in her hand. Joking right.....? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kratindaeng Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 My wife can't cook, won't clean, blows the weekly budget on whatever current fad takes her fancy, gambles, smokes, doesn't drink, is more headstrong & beligerant than most males & is very scary when I come home from the pub late & pissed & she's at the door with a .38 in her hand. 55555555555! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermute Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 While we are on the subject of sub-serviance, I can tell you that not all thai women fit this mold. My wife can't cook, won't clean, blows the weekly budget on whatever current fad takes her fancy, gambles, smokes, doesn't drink, is more headstrong & beligerant than most males & is very scary when I come home from the pub late & pissed & she's at the door with a .38 in her hand. Still, as cdn put it, couldn't have been luckier that day 11 years ago she walked into my club in Australia & happened to know a mutual friend who introduced us. Yeah you won the lottery allright just not in the way you think. I'm pretty sure the Thai men are thanking you for that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kmart Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 I'm not sure what the success rate of Thai / farang relationships is...? As someone mentioned earlier about the failure / divorce rate of marriages in the West, I would imagine there is a similarly dismal success rate here, based on cultural; lingual; educational differences, etc? Lottery winners notwithstanding, obviously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soundman Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 While we are on the subject of sub-serviance, I can tell you that not all thai women fit this mold. My wife can't cook, won't clean, blows the weekly budget on whatever current fad takes her fancy, gambles, smokes, doesn't drink, is more headstrong & beligerant than most males & is very scary when I come home from the pub late & pissed & she's at the door with a .38 in her hand. Still, as cdn put it, couldn't have been luckier that day 11 years ago she walked into my club in Australia & happened to know a mutual friend who introduced us. Yeah you won the lottery allright just not in the way you think. I'm pretty sure the Thai men are thanking you for that one. I forgot to mention her good points. She is great fun, good mother, highly intelligent, an extremely astute business women, not at all boring to be around, very loyal, understanding of males & generally has to put up with me! With the gun, yep that's true, she carries a fire arm everyday (work purposes) & having it waved at you sure gets the adrenaline going, but its not much different than my mother chasing me with a cricket bat when I was a naughty child. Hope I never do something bad enough that warrants the gun being discharged in my general direction. Cheers, Soundman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garro Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 (edited) I have a luk kruang due to be born next month and my first reaction to this post was to be annoyed. Then I thought about it a bit more and as they say in The Sopranos; 'what you gonna do?' This is Thailand and life is too short sorry mods but I posted this in the wrong thread. It should be in 'thai children with foreign fathers.....'. Could you please move it for me. Thanks Edited July 4, 2007 by garro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torv Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 I have a luk kruang due to be born next month and my first reaction to this post was to be annoyed. Then I thought about it a bit more and as they say in The Sopranos; 'what you gonna do?' This is Thailand and life is too shortsorry mods but I posted this in the wrong thread. It should be in 'thai children with foreign fathers.....'. Could you please move it for me. Thanks Ha! I was confused there for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RueFang Posted July 4, 2007 Author Share Posted July 4, 2007 wow great responses !! cdnvic - that makes me smile...thanks I had wondered if men who married Thais for the "sub-servient" reasons, whether consciously or unconsciously, were bitterly surprised/disappointed after the honeymoon phase ended. qwertz - love your poetic #5 post November Rain - I agree with you about "Does it matter?"....not at all if everyone's happy. Soundman - sounds like you've got some dangerous women around you I have been married to my Thai husband for nearly 2 years and it's not a passionate type of love as I've experienced in the past, but a more friendshipy type love. We absolutely love each other's company (lucky cos we're together 24/7) and have the same interests and have heaps of fun together. I think this is a lasting type of love because surely in super passionate relationships the fire's going to die sometime?? Looks like I'm another lottery winner too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Burr Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 I'm going to give an unbiased opinion here, and for the record, I am Thai by ethnicity.A lot of farangs view Thai women as subservient, exotic, and all that. In many cases these are true, and to be honest, how many farangs fell genuinely in love with Thai women without knowing/assuming these qualities. If it weren't for those qualities, there wouldn't be any farangs heading to Thailand to find Thai women in the first place. Meanwhile a lot of Thai women, especially those that farangs like, are more poverty stricken and sometimes see farangs as an outlet to better lives. Along the way to each of their ambitions, they fall in love. Honestly, this is nothing bad aside from giving farangs and Thai women a bad name. This is in the same basica principle as, you would be first attracted to someone by their outer appearances first before their personalities. So there you go. I'm just generalizing this as of course, there are people who meet outside of these criterias also. Excellent post. Spot on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sakaew Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 Jeez Soundman...you met your wife--she sounds GREAT--at "your club"? You're not a Fremantle Dockers member are yer? Some of those ladies are a bit fiery Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kratindaeng Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 Jeez Soundman...you met your wife--she sounds GREAT--at "your club"?You're not a Fremantle Dockers member are yer? Some of those ladies are a bit fiery watch yer mouth man, your likely to get a bullet in yer ass! just kiddin, soundman your wife seems jaidee maak, anyone know where I can get a Glock in Bangkok? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WaiWai Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 sorry mods but I posted this in the wrong thread. It should be in 'thai children with foreign fathers.....'. Could you please move it for me. Thanks Be careful with posts intended for the "Beware of the Leeches" thread . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckydog Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 I think this is a complex topic, after all what is Love? it means different things to us all. I'm married to a Thai and i can say in all honesty i'm not head over heals in love and i'm pretty sure it's the same for her but love is not always a good basis for a successful relationship or at least it's not the only thing.I too had this idea about Thai women being gentle, wanting to take care of their man, doing the house work and so on (& most importantly not having all that emotional baggage western women so often have)...well it's total nonsense, yes she is a little bit of all that but she's also stubborn as hel_l and a temper that can turn a chap to jelly in seconds. And perhaps she had similar misconceptions about me/western men taking good care of her, having money (the latter she new i did'nt have!). However,all that said i'm a lot happier than i used to be, i have a good wife a lovely Son and being married to Thai has definately opened up a total new world for me and one that i love. Say no more........This THE post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckydog Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 If you go into a relationship with the wrong intensions it usually ends up badly on the other side... The intention is all too seldom based on love and respect. Love is like a a rare and tender plant; it has to be cultivated, nurtured and protected. Respect is the fruit it will bear if it survives. Too many farangs just don't have green fingers. Qwerty is a poet, and he don't know it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artisi Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 My wife makes me laugh and smile everyday (and I'm a grouchy old bast@rd). I won the lottery the day I met her. That makes two of us, but not so old There are 3 now. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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