Money comes and goes, but Love….

[Iamloki]

On 9/21/2023 at 2:29 PM, bob smith said:

If you are lucky enough to find true love then whatever you do never let it go.

 

i am currently experiencing severe alcohol withdrawal and my wife is by my side all day every day. She is feeding me, comforting me, making me laugh and making me cry.

 

ive been a terrible husband to Mrs smith due mostly to the effects of alcohol and my behavior when under the influence. No more. That all stops from now. This is day 4 of my journey and I’m feeling terrible but knowing there is a woman by my side who cares and wants me to come through this is priceless. 
 

I want to be a better man, and I feel that by removing alcohol from my life will help me achieve that goal. 

you can have all the money in the world, but if you don’t have somebody who truly loves and cares for you when you are at your lowest,  then you are dirt poor in all other aspects of life. 
 

bob 

Sorry to hear of your troubles Bob. Glad to hear you're on the path to recovery.

Very few people can do it alone. If you want, these guys can probably help: www.aathailand.org

[Iamloki]

7 hours ago, newbee2022 said:

....and how many times in your life you tried this before already???????

The only time that matters is the one that works... this time.

[Iamloki]

3 hours ago, Tropposurfer said:

Yo Bob,

 

Get some thiamin (B1) from the chemist or vitamin section in the supermarket. It will help your liver recover and help the nervous system to a degree.

If you can find a complex B vitamin (made for men) and get that into you as directed on the bottle ... this will support your nervous system, and body tissues.

A good daily intake of water to help flush the liver.

 

If you've got a problem with alcohol then consider seriously some support counselling going forward. The issue of alcoholic drinking (only you can discern and identify your drinking as alcoholic, or just heavy drinking).

If you think you are an alcoholic then what is ailing you is far more than just the physical habit of picking up a drink and then continuing till stupor and all the wreckage that comes along with it.

 

These issues require lots of support, wise, honest, and caring feedback from those whom the drinker begins to let into their life and their inner-story who have the skillsets to support.

 

Being loved by someone, just like Mrs Bob is super helpful but more than often those closest to the drinker are too close to be able to detach enough. This is due to them being adversely impacted by the drinkers behaviour and needing recovery for themselves too. 

 

For the drinker without such 'cleaning of house' the worms in ones head plague and make being dry so uncomfortable eventually to the point of unbearable and the need to take another drink to quieten the madness between the ears and in the gut prevails.

 

Good luck mate.

 

 

This is a very useful post.

[Iamloki]

1 hour ago, newbee2022 said:

You will be an alcoholic your whole life. And many have a relapse......every year. Therefore it is indeed important to know how many times he tried already before. So this time it's serious and genuine or just again the road to the bottle at the end?

While it is true that there is no cure for alcoholism Newbee, recovery/remission can be life long. Usually, every time tried is serious and genuine... but extremely difficult. The truth is, we all have another drunk in us, but never know how many recoveries. The number of previous attempt are immaterial.

 

Only the realization is that by time one gets to this place... the choice is either get sober or die - because we do not know how many recovery attempts we have. This is the only thing of real relevance. The alcoholic who reaches out for help, is the only alcoholic who has a chance. I believe the OP may be doing that.

[xtrnuno41]

Good to hear Bob, that after 4 days of not drinking, you awakened.

You see your wife in a different way now.

Once you wrote negative about her. Now she is your rock, hold tight on her!

It is not easy coming off from an addiction and maybe never.

You got to fight for your right to party (life without the alcohol)

Keep on going Bob

[newbee2022]

49 minutes ago, Iamloki said:

While it is true that there is no cure for alcoholism Newbee, recovery/remission can be life long. Usually, every time tried is serious and genuine... but extremely difficult. The truth is, we all have another drunk in us, but never know how many recoveries. The number of previous attempt are immaterial.

 

Only the realization is that by time one gets to this place... the choice is either get sober or die - because we do not know how many recovery attempts we have. This is the only thing of real relevance. The alcoholic who reaches out for help, is the only alcoholic who has a chance. I believe the OP may be doing that.

I partly agree. However, an alcoholic can help only himself. Not anybody else. 

[moogradod]

Two kinds of love:

1. Romantic Love (like sung about in ordinary music): It will come and go.

2. Real Love (notice there is a difference): Purely wishing well for the partner: stays forever

[billd766]

4 hours ago, newbee2022 said:

You will be an alcoholic your whole life. And many have a relapse......every year. Therefore it is indeed important to know how many times he tried already before. So this time it's serious and genuine or just again the road to the bottle at the end?

At 75 I quit drinking alcohol overnight after some 60 years to give my body its last few years to recover. At that time I was drinking 3 or 4 x 750 bottles of Hong Thong a week with soda and ice.

 

I never tried to stop drinking before.

 

Was I an alcoholic? I honestly don't know.

 

I still drink alcohol, but only 1 shot of Stroh 80 proof rum with coke every New Years Eve.

 

Does that mean I was an alcoholic and will always be, even with only 1 alcoholic drink every 365 days?

[newbee2022]

35 minutes ago, billd766 said:

At 75 I quit drinking alcohol overnight after some 60 years to give my body its last few years to recover. At that time I was drinking 3 or 4 x 750 bottles of Hong Thong a week with soda and ice.

 

I never tried to stop drinking before.

 

Was I an alcoholic? I honestly don't know.

 

I still drink alcohol, but only 1 shot of Stroh 80 proof rum with coke every New Years Eve.

 

Does that mean I was an alcoholic and will always be, even with only 1 alcoholic drink every 365 days?

Sure, you are. Did you know about "dry alcoholic"? Any dry alcoholic is on the brink to start again. Alcoholism is a proven medical issue

[observer90210]

OP should rather be seeing a qualified therapist and not seek to mend issues and angles through social media.

[Iamloki]

2 hours ago, newbee2022 said:

I partly agree. However, an alcoholic can help only himself. Not anybody else. 

The alcoholic has to do the work himself to get sober... In fact however, the only one who can truly reach and help an active drunk, is a sober drunk. That is how AA works, one sober alcoholic helping another.

[newbee2022]

42 minutes ago, Iamloki said:

The alcoholic has to do the work himself to get sober... In fact however, the only one who can truly reach and help an active drunk, is a sober drunk. That is how AA works, one sober alcoholic helping another.

Yes, as long the alcoholic is asking for help and will attend voluntarily AA.

 

[billd766]

2 hours ago, newbee2022 said:

Sure, you are. Did you know about "dry alcoholic"? Any dry alcoholic is on the brink to start again. Alcoholism is a proven medical issue

Rubbish

 

How many of the doctors that 'proved' the issue were genuine recovered alcoholics?

 

I KNOW that I will not take any more than one alcoholic drink a year.

 

How do I know? Because I know me.

 

You don't know me and neither do any of the doctors know me.

 

I used to be a smoker but I quit 5 times successfully.

 

Am I a reformed smoker or will I revert to smoking again?  Seeing that I quit in 1970 which was 53 years ago, I am certainly going to start again now.

 

How do I know? Because I know me.

 

You don't know me and neither do any of the doctors know me.

 

A little quote for you.

 

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=there+are+lies+damn+lies+and+statistics&sca_esv=567611878&sxsrf=AM9HkKkl0wjzbNOpl0N-atI5vaewOILczA%3A1695396825442&source=hp&ei=2bMNZc_cFojf2roPgJOr-As&iflsig=AO6bgOgAAAAAZQ3B6TAe48D8hQF4j3gfhHRIpk5I7D-4&oq=there&gs_lp=Egdnd3Mtd2l6IgV0aGVyZSoCCAAyBxAjGIoFGCcyBxAuGIoFGCcyBxAAGIoFGEMyBxAAGIoFGEMyBxAuGIoFGEMyBRAAGIAEMgUQABiABDIFEAAYgAQyBRAAGIAEMgUQABiABEiOJ1AAWM4IcAB4AJABAJgBrQGgAdEFqgEDMC41uAEByAEA-AEBwgILEC4YgAQYxwEY0QPCAgUQLhiABMICCBAuGIAEGNQC&sclient=gws-wiz

 

"Lies, damned lies, and statistics" is a phrase describing the persuasive power of statistics to bolster weak arguments, "one of the best, and best-known" critiques of applied statistics. It is also sometimes colloquially used to doubt statistics used to prove an opponent's point.

[newbee2022]

8 hours ago, billd766 said:

Rubbish

 

How many of the doctors that 'proved' the issue were genuine recovered alcoholics?

 

I KNOW that I will not take any more than one alcoholic drink a year.

 

How do I know? Because I know me.

 

You don't know me and neither do any of the doctors know me.

 

I used to be a smoker but I quit 5 times successfully.

 

Am I a reformed smoker or will I revert to smoking again?  Seeing that I quit in 1970 which was 53 years ago, I am certainly going to start again now.

 

How do I know? Because I know me.

 

You don't know me and neither do any of the doctors know me.

 

A little quote for you.

 

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=there+are+lies+damn+lies+and+statistics&sca_esv=567611878&sxsrf=AM9HkKkl0wjzbNOpl0N-atI5vaewOILczA%3A1695396825442&source=hp&ei=2bMNZc_cFojf2roPgJOr-As&iflsig=AO6bgOgAAAAAZQ3B6TAe48D8hQF4j3gfhHRIpk5I7D-4&oq=there&gs_lp=Egdnd3Mtd2l6IgV0aGVyZSoCCAAyBxAjGIoFGCcyBxAuGIoFGCcyBxAAGIoFGEMyBxAAGIoFGEMyBxAuGIoFGEMyBRAAGIAEMgUQABiABDIFEAAYgAQyBRAAGIAEMgUQABiABEiOJ1AAWM4IcAB4AJABAJgBrQGgAdEFqgEDMC41uAEByAEA-AEBwgILEC4YgAQYxwEY0QPCAgUQLhiABMICCBAuGIAEGNQC&sclient=gws-wiz

 

"Lies, damned lies, and statistics" is a phrase describing the persuasive power of statistics to bolster weak arguments, "one of the best, and best-known" critiques of applied statistics. It is also sometimes colloquially used to doubt statistics used to prove an opponent's point.

Thank you for giving me a precise insight of what is going on in/with your brain. That's it. 

[donmuang37]

Bob,  Good luck on your withdrawal.  I was essentially a still functioning alcoholic at age 36.  I couldn't ask for help or I would lose my security clearance and my career would have been over.  So, I just quit cold turkey.  After a couple of months I was OK, except when I went to a party, in which case I wanted a drink, but I stayed the course.  After about 2 years, I no longer had a desire for alcohol.  That was 50 years ago and I'm still sober.  I'm so happy not to be a slave to booze.  I'm 86 and had 3 successful careers.  I retired for the 3rd time in October 2021.  

Hang in there baby,

Don