What Woman Want From A Man

[LaoPo]

Even those women who get married a little bit later in life (like mid-late 20's) are pressured (and believe me pressured is the right word, I have put up with it for 18 years) to have a baby by everyone. Family, friends, total strangers. This attitude, I think, has lessened somewhat in the west.

I think women should be able to make up their own minds whether they want a child or not without being judged as unnatural.

You're right.

The pressure from the family can be huge and powerful. I also agree that this [pressure] has lessened in the West or almost non existing in many countries (EU).

I also agree that it is a womans' choice to have a child or not although this decision is mostly made between the couple.

In the Far East however it's still a major issue within the family, having a baby or not. The family intervenes with judgements and pressure.

Let alone if a man or woman decides to have a partner from the same sex....the fundamentals of a total family are shocked and shattered.

I know of this Taiwanese man, now [officially] married to a Western man. The Taiwanese man is abandoned by his family....no more contact.

They are utterly shocked.

Culture is not something what can be changed overnight; it takes decades, if not longer.

LaoPo

[November Rain]

ok, since I was disruptive to the thread earlier my apologies.

I do think NV was spot on with her post and I guessed Shone was 20 something as well. I got friends (women) hitting their 30s all around me, and all having or wanting kids. That biological clock just kicks in doesn't it?

I'm mid-20's. Not early 20's. Thanks.

Absolutely!

And I'm NR, not NV, seeing as we're being pedantic! Get your facts right, Maddy!!

[GreenShone]

I'm mid-20's. Not early 20's. Thanks.

Absolutely!

And I'm NR, not NV, seeing as we're being pedantic! Get your facts right, Maddy!!

It's all good.

[bkkmadness]

ok, since I was disruptive to the thread earlier my apologies.

I do think NV was spot on with her post and I guessed Shone was 20 something as well. I got friends (women) hitting their 30s all around me, and all having or wanting kids. That biological clock just kicks in doesn't it?

I'm mid-20's. Not early 20's. Thanks.

Who said you was mid 20s and not early 20s anyway?

[GreenShone]

I'm mid-20's. Not early 20's. Thanks.

Who said you was mid 20s and not early 20s anyway?

Mate, can you read at all?

[sbk]

I'm mid-20's. Not early 20's. Thanks.

Who said you was mid 20s and not early 20s anyway?

Mate, can you read at all?

Can you?

(bkkmadness @ 2007-07-21 23:32:41) *

ok, since I was disruptive to the thread earlier my apologies.

I do think NV was spot on with her post and I guessed Shone was 20 something as well. I got friends (women) hitting their 30s all around me, and all having or wanting kids. That biological clock just kicks in doesn't it?

Anyway, your age or what it is perceived to be isn't really the issue here and should not be a source of aggravation

[bkkmadness]

No aggravation, just want to explain that '20 something' means 20-29.

[sbk]

Yes, it does. Which was my point.

Not sure why greenshone decided it necessary to make an issue out of it, since there was nothing to make an issue out of if they had read your post, bkkmadness.

Anyway, I have to disagree with you on the ticking biological clock. I suspect a large part of that comes from societal expectations of women and as those expectations have begun to change, so has women's perceptions of themselves. So, I suspect, that when the women who are younger now begin to age and reach 40 you will probably see less of this ticking biological clock desperation because they weren't raised from childhood believing that a woman's worth is measured by her ability to produce a child. I don't think it applies to the 40 somethings now as much because that attitude has slowly eroded, so women in their 40's today would still have been exposed to it.

[GreenShone]

Age is not part of the argument, but some posts have mentioned my age = my thoughts. That's the reason why I'm trying to put my foot down on this one. Making Children, birthing, marriage and etc is not a priority for me and are things far from my mind. It's not because I'm mid 20's, but rather it's a choice I made.

Women are made to believe that we have a shelf-life by the society, peers, even family. That's not necessarily true. The older women get, the hotter we become.

[Soju]

The older women get, the hotter we become.

GS, I love your lovely rose colored glasses.

[sbk]

Try researching it a bit soju. In the West, at least, it is becoming more common for younger guys to go out with women older than themselves. But then, these guys want a confident woman who is sure of herself, doesn't need maintenance and can make up her own mind

[donna]

whilst i agree with you sbk, i think it is probably a confident younger man who wants an older more confidant woman. a man who wants a younger partner to dominate is not necessarily confident - he seeks this to boost his power - something he feels he perhaps doesnt have in the first place. (yes, i am making a guess here)

i have had younger partners and they have usually been very confident and sure of themselves. they had strong opinions about most things and liked the fact that we could discuss things by putting forward our both (strong) views.

this isnt to say that a man seeking a younger woman isnt confident. (dont jump on me blokes).

ultimately everyone is different. we choose different people at different stages of our lives for different reasons.

[sbk]

Sorry, guess I wasn't clear, the men going out with older women are confident of themselves and want a confident woman.

[donna]

yeah, thats what i meant - just wanted to expand it a bit....ive got a bung eye today so maybe arent thinking straight...

[Soju]

whilst i agree with you sbk, i think it is probably a confident younger man who wants an older more confidant woman. a man who wants a younger partner to dominate is not necessarily confident - he seeks this to boost his power - something he feels he perhaps doesnt have in the first place. (yes, i am making a guess here)

i have had younger partners and they have usually been very confident and sure of themselves. they had strong opinions about most things and liked the fact that we could discuss things by putting forward our both (strong) views.

this isnt to say that a man seeking a younger woman isnt confident. (dont jump on me blokes).

ultimately everyone is different. we choose different people at different stages of our lives for different reasons.

Well consider me the odd man out then, because when I was young, not so mature, and not possessing full confidence, I sought after much older women, not because they were hot, but because they had something I didn't and that I couldn't find with a younger woman. As I grew older and fully matured and fully confident, I found older women to be boring (romantically speaking) and unattractive. I then had plenty of my own maturity and confidence and didn't need a romantic partner with the same qualities. I had and still have numerous older females as great friends and I enjoy their company much more than men of that age, and much more than younger females for being just friends. The qualities that you name I think make older women the best candidates for being great friends, but in my mind that is all they are, and they are anything but hot. They don't have anything to excite me in the romance department. It's not just women, but also men - as everyone ages beyond their teenage or maybe early twenties, they become less and less hot, so don't think I'm trying to single out women here. Some men may very well want to be with an older woman, but I find it hard to believe that it is because he thinks she's hot. Nothing wrong with that though, if that's what the guy wants. Some guys can still be very much in love with an older woman even though they don't find them physically attractive. Just the same, there are lots of younger women who are with a much older man who is anything but hot, yet they are attracted to them for reasons other than them being physically attractive. Theres nothing more humorous to me than seeing a 40-year-old plus woman prancing around acting like she's some young hottie. Equally humorous are middle-aged, pot-bellied, balding men who go around thinking they're so very handsome and that the women they attract are after them for their good looks.

After maturing, I migrated to a younger women, not to try to dominate, but because I found her to be exciting and full of youth and beauty and able to supply me with something I was missing, and also I'm able to supply her with something she's missing. She seems to have a need for me in her life. Older women don't need me, they want me, and that's what makes them great friends but not lovers. In order for me to love someone, I want to feel like they not only love me in return, but that they have needs which I can fulfill.

Had I found my life-partner when I was younger, I'm sure I would have been very satisfied with her as we grew older together, made a family, home, etc. When you live that kind of a life, any physical attraction becomes less and less important, and you become attracted to your partner for other reasons as you begin to age. There is nothing wrong with that and actually is what I always planned to happen when I was younger, but never managed to find the right woman to make it happen with. At my age, if I was to suddenly find myself without a partner and told I could only choose one my same age or older, I'd choose to remain single for the rest of my life and merely have older women as friends.

[sbk]

I think I mentioned younger men these days soju Times have changed.

[donna]

fair point, Soju. as i said, i was guessing and generalising. i am sure that what i say is true for some but not for all, like wise for your point of view. im glad you found happiness!

[Soju]

Times have changed.

Maybe you're right, SBK. I have to admit I've been out of things for so long back in Farangland and have absolutely no desire to go back, so actually don't care much about what the latest is there with today's youth. Just don't expect me to ever change though as I'm far too set in my ways.

[sbk]

Wouldn't ask you to. Why should you? You are who you are.

[November Rain]

Well, if soju's right, it's no wonder I've got so many male friends. Hope you're right, instead, sbk