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Posted

Got this as an email today.

18 WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED ADVANCEMENTS!!!!

HE : Can I buy you a drink?

SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.

SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?

SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?

SHE : I must've been given your share.

HE : Will you go out with me this Saturday?

SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE : Your face must turn a few heads.

SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE : Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.

SHE : Okay, get out.

HE : I think I could make you very happy.

SHE : Why? Are you leaving?

HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?

SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE : Can I have your name?

SHE : Why? Don't you already have one?

HE : Shall we go see a movie?

SHE : I've already seen it.

HE : Where have you been all my life?

SHE : Hiding from you.

HE : Haven't I seen you some place before?

SHE : Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE : Is this seat empty?

SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE : So, what do you do for a living?

SHE : I'm a female impersonator.

HE : Hey baby, what's your sign?

SHE : Do not enter.

HE : Your body is like a temple.

SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.

HE : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

SHE : If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

FORWARD TO WOMEN IN NEED OF SOME LAUGHS

(and men who may appreciate good humor)

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