I think I heard this one before but at my age I forget stuff (CRS)

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect

Customer Support employee.

(Now I know why they record these

conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer

assistance; may I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having

trouble with WordPerfect."

Operator: "What sort of trouble??"

Caller: "Well, I was just

typing along, and all of a sudden the words went

away."

Operator: "Went away?"

Caller: "They disappeared."

Operator: "Hmm. So what does your

screen look like now?"

Caller: "Nothing."

Operator: "Nothing??"

Caller: "It's blank; it won't

accept anything when I type."

Operator: "Are you still in

WordPerfect, or did you get out??"

Caller: "How do I tell?"

Operator: "Can you see the 'C:

prompt' on the screen??"

Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Operator: "Never mind, can you move

your cursor around the screen?"

Caller: "There isn't any

cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I

type."

Operator: "Does your monitor have a

power indicator??"

Caller: "What's a monitor?"

Operator: "It's the thing with the

screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a

little light that tells you when it's on??"

Caller: "I don't know."

Operator: "Well, then look on the

back of the monitor and find where the power cord

goes into it. Can you see that??"

Caller: "Yes, I think so."

Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to

the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller: "Yes, it is."

Operator: "When you were behind the

monitor, did you notice that there were two cables

plugged into the back of it, not just one??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Well, there are. I need

you to look back there again and find the other

cable."

Caller: "Okay, here it is."

Operator: "Follow it for me, and

tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of

your computer."

Caller: "I can't reach."

Operator: "OK. Well, can you see if

it is??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Even if you maybe put

your knee on something and lean way over??"

Caller: "Well, it's not

because I don't have the right angle -- it's because

it's dark."

Operator: "Dark??"

Caller: "Yes - the office

light is off, and the only light I have is coming in

from the window."

Operator: "Well, turn on the

office light then."

Caller: "I can't."

Operator: "No? Why not??"

Caller: "Because there's a

power failure."

Operator: "A power .... A power

failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you

still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff

that your computer came in??"

Caller: "Well, yes, I keep

them in the closet."

Operator: "Good. Go get them, and

unplug your system and pack it up just like it was

when you got it. Then take it back to the store you

bought it from."

Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Caller: "Well, all right

then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"

Operator: "Tell them you're too

stupid to own a computer!!!"

I chuckle everytime I read that one. Perhaps becouse I once worked as a support agent for an ISP, and believe me, there was a couple of these callers every day...

There where times when I had to mute my mic, before I crawled under my desk I was laughing so hard. :-)