Pattaya Cruton Shotage 2007

[Hobgoblin]

To all my fellow Cesar salad fans,

Pattaya is in the grip of a monstrous cruton shortage. Friendship, Foodland, Foodmart, Tops and even Carrefour used to carry heaps of boxes of Pepperidge Farm giant seasoned salad crutons. They were sold in boxes (half the size of a cereal box, the real volume escapes me) for roughly 100 baht.

However, what used to be huge stockpiles of these has since dwindled to zero. I need my crutons! I bought a small box from the Foodland bakery, but were very small (1cm cubed), and alas, no flavoring. Friendship currently has bags of some German brand of seasoned crutons in stock, but for an astronomical 695 Baht... no way am I paying *that* much.

So, has anyone seen these illustrious crutons being sold anywhere? Any cruton news? Weho?

[wilko]

For heaven's sake!

Make your own!

[Weho]

Any cruton news? Weho?

Ah, finally something worthy of a response... rather than become beholden to paying outrageous prices for imported crutons, of questionable date expiration, and of inferior quality, why not make your own crutons as weho does... (actually, weho doesn't lift a finger... weho has instructed "the staff" to do it on weho's behalf)...

Here's how to make your own CRUTONS:

buy some good quality bread, the more expensive, usually the better... it can have seeds in it, be whole grain, or if you're on a budget, it can even be those cheap bagged sandwich bread slices.

Now, in a small bowl, make this sauce: about 4 or 5 tablespoons of good quality OLIVE OIL, (don't use that cheap artery-clogging Thai stuff). Put in some spices/seasoning, like oregano, or a mixture of spices/seasoning. If you can find something like a Mediterreanian spice mixture, that's the best. GIve it a couple of good shakes. Add some salt and pepper. Cut up about ten cloves of GARLIC into very small tiny pieces, add them to the olive oil mixture.

Turn on the frickin' oven... get a brush, and brush the mixture onto about 8 slices of bread, evenly, and put them in the oven. I would say as a general rule, if you use say 5 tablespoons of the olive oil, you should have enough for about 8 slices. Bake the bread slices in the frickin' oven for about 10 or 15 minutes, til they are brown, and crusty, as crutons should be.

Eat the bread as garlic bread, OR let them cool, and cut them into little chunks, which are crutons that can be added to your Caesar salad.

Store unused ones in tightly sealed containers in your refrigerizer.

This is a healthy thing to add to your salad, up until you drench your salad with a high fat/high cholesterol salad dressing.

After you try this, report back here, and give your critique.

Also, do a search on that webnet thing for "cruton recipe", and you should be able to find variations.

It's easy to do, not expensive, and fun for the entire family.

If anyone has gone to Walking Street and picked up some hookers, I'm sure they would enjoy this too.

[sbk]

Ah weho, a poster after your own heart. You must be so proud

[Weho]

Ah weho, a poster after your own heart. You must be so proud

No, I'm more proud someone of your high calibur took the time to contribute to this worthy thread. And gave me a smiley too...

I rarely give out smileys, I reserve them for only the most special responders... I think you have earned two of these:

[rambler]

Any cruton news? Weho?

Ah, finally something worthy of a response... rather than become beholden to paying outrageous prices for imported crutons, of questionable date expiration, and of inferior quality, why not make your own crutons as weho does... (actually, weho doesn't lift a finger... weho has instructed "the staff" to do it on weho's behalf)...

Here's how to make your own CRUTONS:

buy some good quality bread, the more expensive, usually the better... it can have seeds in it, be whole grain, or if you're on a budget, it can even be those cheap bagged sandwich bread slices.

Now, in a small bowl, make this sauce: about 4 or 5 tablespoons of good quality OLIVE OIL, (don't use that cheap artery-clogging Thai stuff). Put in some spices/seasoning, like oregano, or a mixture of spices/seasoning. If you can find something like a Mediterreanian spice mixture, that's the best. GIve it a couple of good shakes. Add some salt and pepper. Cut up about ten cloves of GARLIC into very small tiny pieces, add them to the olive oil mixture.

Turn on the frickin' oven... get a brush, and brush the mixture onto about 8 slices of bread, evenly, and put them in the oven. I would say as a general rule, if you use say 5 tablespoons of the olive oil, you should have enough for about 8 slices. Bake the bread slices in the frickin' oven for about 10 or 15 minutes, til they are brown, and crusty, as crutons should be.

Eat the bread as garlic bread, OR let them cool, and cut them into little chunks, which are crutons that can be added to your Caesar salad.

Store unused ones in tightly sealed containers in your refrigerizer.

This is a healthy thing to add to your salad, up until you drench your salad with a high fat/high cholesterol salad dressing.

After you try this, report back here, and give your critique.

Also, do a search on that webnet thing for "cruton recipe", and you should be able to find variations.

It's easy to do, not expensive, and fun for the entire family.

If anyone has gone to Walking Street and picked up some hookers, I'm sure they would enjoy this too.

I just spent a splendid hour following your precise directions on making crutons ,,, not very successful actually they loolled like deep fried rat turds and more so they tasted the same as well even the dog outside my gaff turned his nose up at em so gave em to the scottish fella next door he loved em.seriously how long did u cook them for?i did forget them while was watchin the golf.

[Weho]

I just spent a splendid hour following your precise directions on making crutons ,,, not very successful actually they loolled like deep fried rat turds and more so they tasted the same as well even the dog outside my gaff turned his nose up at em so gave em to the scottish fella next door he loved em.seriously how long did u cook them for?i did forget them while was watchin the golf.

Oh dear... I regret that your culinary skills are apparently lacking. First, it shouldn't take an hour. Second, were you drinking while you were trying to make them? Maybe your seasoning wasn't really good... they need oregano... lord knows what you put in there. Third, i'm not surprised that a Scottish dude would like your bad cooking. Forth, I said to cook them UNTIL they were golden brown, like 10 or 15 minutes... maybe it's 20 minutes... I think I was reasonably clear.

Lastly, it doesn't surprise me that you watch golf. It's bad enough playing it for real, but to watch others play it on t.v.? What's the deal with that?

And are we to expect that the kind of person would would watch golf on t.v. could also be able to follow a simple recipe, designed to help out in the current cruton shortage going on?

If you have any left, could you take a picture and post it here, so we can try to figure out what you did wrong? Regardless, I will issue you some credit, though not much, for at least trying. And a little more credit for being able to admit that you did a lousy job at cruton making.

[rambler]

I just spent a splendid hour following your precise directions on making crutons ,,, not very successful actually they loolled like deep fried rat turds and more so they tasted the same as well even the dog outside my gaff turned his nose up at em so gave em to the scottish fella next door he loved em.seriously how long did u cook them for?i did forget them while was watchin the golf.

Oh dear... I regret that your culinary skills are apparently lacking. First, it shouldn't take an hour. Second, were you drinking while you were trying to make them? Maybe your seasoning wasn't really good... they need oregano... lord knows what you put in there. Third, i'm not surprised that a Scottish dude would like your bad cooking. Forth, I said to cook them UNTIL they were golden brown, like 10 or 15 minutes... maybe it's 20 minutes... I think I was reasonably clear.

Lastly, it doesn't surprise me that you watch golf. It's bad enough playing it for real, but to watch others play it on t.v.? What's the deal with that?

And are we to expect that the kind of person would would watch golf on t.v. could also be able to follow a simple recipe, designed to help out in the current cruton shortage going on?

If you have any left, could you take a picture and post it here, so we can try to figure out what you did wrong? Regardless, I will issue you some credit, though not much, for at least trying. And a little more credit for being able to admit that you did a lousy job at cruton making.

I must agree my cooking skills are pretty bad at least i had a go and was the most fun ive had since my piles last poopped out to play. i went next door but the crutons were alas gone so no photo sorry infact Jimmy asked me to make some more just like the last ones i find that rather strange.i intend to try again when the golf has finished its the British Open the finest tournament in the the world so exciting . whats your fav recipe/delicacy weho (thai and foriegn) i like my thai dishes same same the ladies "hot and spicy"and my foriegn food same same a kateoy "meat and 2 veg.

[kayo]

excellent!

Good instructions WeHo. Tasty!

[Weho]

I must agree my cooking skills are pretty bad at least i had a go and was the most fun ive had since my piles last poopped out to play. i went next door but the crutons were alas gone so no photo sorry infact Jimmy asked me to make some more just like the last ones i find that rather strange.i intend to try again when the golf has finished its the British Open the finest tournament in the the world so exciting . whats your fav recipe/delicacy weho (thai and foriegn) i like my thai dishes same same the ladies "hot and spicy"and my foriegn food same same a kateoy "meat and 2 veg.

i'd be interested in knowing more about your piles...

I'd love to tell you about my favourite "recipe/delicacy", but with that exciting game of golf on t.v., I just don't want to distract you from that high calibur level of entertainment. i'd feel pretty bad if you were reading about, say, my haggis recipe, and you missed some golfer hit the little ball into a sand trap, or something on that level of excitement. or maybe there would be an interview with "Tiger" Woods, cause that would be really exciting to hear what he has to say... he's so fascinating... when he talks about golf, it's so, so ... captivating. the way he describes how he hit the ball on a particular shot, and how he was concentrating, and how the match was going so far..... well, i just can never get enough of that kind of talk. he really has so much to say... he's such a clever and quick wit too. i so look forward to when the interviewer says something like, "Tiger, what were you thinking about on hole 17..." and then we all wait with such anticipation, to hear his wisdom... cause he knows so much about just the right way to hit the ball. it's really quite fascinating... i can't wait for the next t.v. golf tournament. and wasn't there some golfer a few years ago, whose private plane ran out of gas, and he was killed? such a tragic loss for the golfing community... but somehow, somehow, the world pulled together, and we survived. He's gone, but we made it. we're still here.

[eefoo]

its the British Open the finest tournament in the the world so exciting .

Don't like golf myself, but it's not the British Open, it's The Open. The only one without a country name in it it would appear.

Can't be doing with croutons either - they're just so ... so .. so French!!

[Weho]

its the British Open the finest tournament in the the world so exciting .

Don't like golf myself, but it's not the British Open, it's The Open. The only one without a country name in it it would appear.

Can't be doing with croutons either - they're just so ... so .. so French!!

I like crutons, in part for their taste/flavour, but also for their crunchyness... see, I like crunchy foods. They are fun to eat... so if you're having a salad, with say mostly NON-crunchy items, crutons can perk that thang up. Celery is another crunchy food I enjoy.

And regarding "the open"... how much does it cost to play a golf course in Britain? I would guess it's beyond the means of most people there. So it's basically a fake "sport" for elitists and cruton haters. And it's not a sport at all... you can weigh a ton, and be out of shape and still be as "good" at hitting that little ball around as someone who is fit. And it's also not environmentally friendly... it takes a lot of precious water to keep a golf course green, for only a handful of people that actually use it. Very selfish people, who are helping destroy the planet. Evil people with little concern for anyone else.

But worst of all is the kind of person that gets some kick, some thrilll by sitting on their arse, watching someone ELSE hit that little ball around, then ooooing, and aaahhhing no matter what they do with the ball, good or bad. What kind of person, what kind of sick person would want to watch that on a small television screen? And what about the people that go there in person, to WATCH others play? I'm embarassed for them, on their behalf.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make some crutons.

Oh, and I would like to add that using the mixture in my recipe, you don't have to cut up the baked bread into small pieces (crutons)... you can simply eat the bread, with the mixture on it, as "garlic bread".

And one more thing I hate about golf: they have so many tournaments, every single day, that each of the players is bound to win at least some of the time... which is absurd... cause in the long run, they mostly have about the same record of wins and losses. Like there will be a big headline "Tiger loses Australia golf society match"... and everyone is just SOOOO sad... it's so frickin' tragic... then a week later, he "WINS" the North Korean open, and is proclaimed a "hero", and a "role model"... Puh-leese...

[Weho]

And I would be remiss if I didn't add one other thing about golf: the worst thing the "champion" does, is when they KISS the trophy. What's the deal with that? Why kiss a trophy? Why not kiss the racquet, or the referee, or the golfball? Or why not bury their face in the sand trap, and just make out with it on camera for all to see? Who, in their right mind, would find any reason to kiss a metal object, like a trophy?

I hate that. There's only one thing worse than that: people who hoard crutons in Pattaya, which clealy is going on at a shocking and alarming rate.

[Humphrey Bear]

And regarding "the open"... how much does it cost to play a golf course in Britain? I would guess it's beyond the means of most people there.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make some crutons.

Oh, and I would like to add that using the mixture in my recipe, you don't have to cut up the baked bread into small pieces (crutons)... you can simply eat the bread, with the mixture on it, as "garlic bread".

And one more thing I hate about golf: they have so many tournaments, every single day, that each of the players is bound to win at least some of the time... which is absurd... cause in the long run, they mostly have about the same record of wins and losses. Like there will be a big headline "Tiger loses Australia golf society match"... and everyone is just SOOOO sad... it's so frickin' tragic... then a week later, he "WINS" the North Korean open, and is proclaimed a "hero", and a "role model"... Puh-leese...

Don't know much about golf - played rugby for 50 years (American football without the cissy padding) - but my sister is a member of three clubs.

One plays on 'public' courses, which means she only has to pay for the actual play, plus a small annual subscription to cover newsletters and so on, one costs a fortune, but she's quite good and so has various privileges like reduced subscription and green fees. The other is the country club where she is the accountant. She gets paid to be there and her golf is free. So she can quit easily cover all her costs.

As to croutons (don't like the American way of dropping letters from words - makes Google very difficult - half the info is under 'crouton' - the rest under 'cruton'). Please learn to spell correctly - and tell Mr Gates that the Microsoft English UK spell checker is wrong in so many ways.

As to croutons (again) they are not to be used as garlic bread. Garlic bread is best made by beating finely chopped garlic (or garlic powder, or both) in to unsalted butter and placing in long baguettes that have been cut almost through about every 3cm along their length. Plenty of this garlic butter in the cuts, allow to spread over the top of the loaf as well. Wrap in tinfoil (probably known as aluminium (sorry - aluminum)(another spelling error) foil in the former colonies. Bake in pre-heated oven at a mid-range temperature for about ten minutes and serve immediately with the spaghetti or whatever else you are stuffing in the cake-hole.

[Weho]

Don't know much about golf - played rugby for 50 years (American football without the cissy padding) - but my sister is a member of three clubs.

One plays on 'public' courses, which means she only has to pay for the actual play, plus a small annual subscription to cover newsletters and so on, one costs a fortune, but she's quite good and so has various privileges like reduced subscription and green fees. The other is the country club where she is the accountant. She gets paid to be there and her golf is free. So she can quit easily cover all her costs.

As to croutons (don't like the American way of dropping letters from words - makes Google very difficult - half the info is under 'crouton' - the rest under 'cruton'). Please learn to spell correctly - and tell Mr Gates that the Microsoft English UK spell checker is wrong in so many ways.

As to croutons (again) they are not to be used as garlic bread. Garlic bread is best made by beating finely chopped garlic (or garlic powder, or both) in to unsalted butter and placing in long baguettes that have been cut almost through about every 3cm along their length. Plenty of this garlic butter in the cuts, allow to spread over the top of the loaf as well. Wrap in tinfoil (probably known as aluminium (sorry - aluminum)(another spelling error) foil in the former colonies. Bake in pre-heated oven at a mid-range temperature for about ten minutes and serve immediately with the spaghetti or whatever else you are stuffing in the cake-hole.

Your recipe for garlic bread is sure to make the waiting room time at the Bangkok Pattaya Hospital double, and probably give them good reason to increase fees as well. I strongly encourage you to go to the waiting room in the HEART CENTER, I think it might be the forth floor, and LOOK at the kind of people in that waiting room: overweight, drunks, rotund, flabby, haggared, tired, listless, BUTTER eaters. Your recipe is really buttered bread, heated, with a little faux garlic powder, or a little real garlic to pretend.

You mention above that your sister is a member of "three clubs", yet you only describe TWO clubs. What happened to the third? What is her arrangement for pay at the third mystery "club'?

Perhaps the British should spend a little LESS time finding fault with Mr. Gates, who has clearly given meaning to their otherwise dreary lives, and a little MORE time spent trying to figure out proper drainage for innundated British townships. Haven't you people heard about sewers?

[Humphrey Bear]

Haven't you people heard about sewers?

We invented them, old son.

You probably mean storm drains - currently the flooding is the worst since 1947 according to the papers. It will soon be up to Pattaya standards.

(And most of the obese guys are there (BPH) because of beer and McDonalds / KFC / Sizzlers)

[Humphrey Bear]

Haven't you people heard about sewers?

We invented them, old son.

You probably mean storm drains - currently the flooding is the worst since 1947 according to the papers. It will soon be up to Pattaya standards.

(And most of the obese guys are there (BPH) because of beer and McDonalds / KFC / Sizzlers)

But the Victorians did address the practicalities of sewage, in numerous parliamentary commissions and debates. A key figure was Edwin Chadwick, whose Report on the Sanitary Condition of the Labouring Population of Great Britain (1848) sold 20,000 copies and led to widespread reform throughout the country. The Great Exhibition of 1851 was a stimulus, too - 827,000 people used the WCs specially installed for the occasion in Hyde Park. In the 1850s and 60s, new sewerage systems were constructed in towns from Brighton to Birmingham (a trip to the Manchester Museum of Science and Industry will show you what was done there). In London, the task was entrusted to Joseph Bazalgette - one he began in 1859 and completed in 1875.

Edwin Chadwick had the good sense to study civil engineering at University College, London. As did I.

[Weho]

Edwin Chadwick had the good sense to study civil engineering at University College, London. As did I.

The only Chadwick I know, is the Chadwick School, where Joan Crawford sent her daughter Cristina, which she got thrown out of, for kissing a boy... and right after, Joan did the right thing: she sent the kid to live in a monestary.

Do you think this Chadwick fellow, or one of his descendants could give the Pattaya municipal government a few tips?

I do stand corrected on the whole storm drains thing... but living in Pattaya, it's hard to tell the two apart.

In my effort to try to stay ON topic, I would like to add that I had some home made crutons (without the "o"), in my salad today, on my pre-chilled plate.

I hope there is a shortage on them in town... maybe they had a "run" on them. I want them to suffer.

If you're really desperate, and unwilling to make your own, the ones Sizzler has at their salad bar are really just highly toasted bread, with no seasoning, NOTHING... they are quite disgusting, but will do, in a pinch.

[Humphrey Bear]

Weho - criticising Sizzler Salad Bar - maybe your trip to Malaysia did do some good, after all.

(Bluddy smilies don't work!!)

[PETERTHEEATER]

To all my fellow Cesar salad fans,

Pattaya is in the grip of a monstrous cruton shortage. Friendship, Foodland, Foodmart, Tops and even Carrefour used to carry heaps of boxes of Pepperidge Farm giant seasoned salad crutons. They were sold in boxes (half the size of a cereal box, the real volume escapes me) for roughly 100 baht.

However, what used to be huge stockpiles of these has since dwindled to zero. I need my crutons! I bought a small box from the Foodland bakery, but were very small (1cm cubed), and alas, no flavoring. Friendship currently has bags of some German brand of seasoned crutons in stock, but for an astronomical 695 Baht... no way am I paying *that* much.

So, has anyone seen these illustrious crutons being sold anywhere? Any cruton news? Weho?

No shortage of croutons over here. I make my own, even you can do it. Another poster has already shown how.

[rambler]

Don't know much about golf - played rugby for 50 years (American football without the cissy padding) - but my sister is a member of three clubs.

One plays on 'public' courses, which means she only has to pay for the actual play, plus a small annual subscription to cover newsletters and so on, one costs a fortune, but she's quite good and so has various privileges like reduced subscription and green fees. The other is the country club where she is the accountant. She gets paid to be there and her golf is free. So she can quit easily cover all her costs.

As to croutons (don't like the American way of dropping letters from words - makes Google very difficult - half the info is under 'crouton' - the rest under 'cruton'). Please learn to spell correctly - and tell Mr Gates that the Microsoft English UK spell checker is wrong in so many ways.

As to croutons (again) they are not to be used as garlic bread. Garlic bread is best made by beating finely chopped garlic (or garlic powder, or both) in to unsalted butter and placing in long baguettes that have been cut almost through about every 3cm along their length. Plenty of this garlic butter in the cuts, allow to spread over the top of the loaf as well. Wrap in tinfoil (probably known as aluminium (sorry - aluminum)(another spelling error) foil in the former colonies. Bake in pre-heated oven at a mid-range temperature for about ten minutes and serve immediately with the spaghetti or whatever else you are stuffing in the cake-hole.

Your recipe for garlic bread is sure to make the waiting room time at the Bangkok Pattaya Hospital double, and probably give them good reason to increase fees as well. I strongly encourage you to go to the waiting room in the HEART CENTER, I think it might be the forth floor, and LOOK at the kind of people in that waiting room: overweight, drunks, rotund, flabby, haggared, tired, listless, BUTTER eaters. Your recipe is really buttered bread, heated, with a little faux garlic powder, or a little real garlic to pretend.

You mention above that your sister is a member of "three clubs", yet you only describe TWO clubs. What happened to the third? What is her arrangement for pay at the third mystery "club'?

Perhaps the British should spend a little LESS time finding fault with Mr. Gates, who has clearly given meaning to their otherwise dreary lives, and a little MORE time spent trying to figure out proper drainage for innundated British townships. Haven't you people heard about sewers?

Ah weho u r so obviously an retired septic after your last few retorts.You have let it slip your mind how the English kindly gave u their language becos u didnt have anyone to come up with longer words then u destroy the finest dialect in the world by changing the spellings and worst of all the pronunciation frick the frickin frickers as they say in the good old USofA......I am so sorry that u feel so anti golf , now its finished on the telly gonna get my bats out and get a few rounds in i am actually alot like the infamous golfer Big John Daly (another septic) total sh*** at golf but brilliant a the piss up after.By the way a lovely Irishman Padraig Harrington won i just knew u were itching to find out........Now back to the crutons or croutons i made some more today and bloody lovely they were perfecto,aroy makmak crutons in noodle soup or on a salad either way the dog loved em as well,alas Jimmy said the first lot were better.I have decided to end my culinary antics for a while as the Tour De France (thats a long bycycle race in Europe) is now live on telly very exciting...so Weho you will be suprised to learn in my previous life ie; before Thailand i was not a chef in actual fact i was a stand up comedian my stage name was Tubby Clown got gigs at some special places like Rochdale WMC,Burnley YMCA and Grimsby CAB ah! Grimsby a must dont visit location its like Kabul with a beach.....Dare i ask your occupation before Thailand Weho .

[Weho]

Ah weho u r so obviously an retired septic after your last few retorts.You have let it slip your mind how the English kindly gave u their language becos u didnt have anyone to come up with longer words then u destroy the finest dialect in the world by changing the spellings and worst of all the pronunciation frick the frickin frickers as they say in the good old USofA......I am so sorry that u feel so anti golf , now its finished on the telly gonna get my bats out and get a few rounds in i am actually alot like the infamous golfer Big John Daly (another septic) total sh*** at golf but brilliant a the piss up after.By the way a lovely Irishman Padraig Harrington won i just knew u were itching to find out........Now back to the crutons or croutons i made some more today and bloody lovely they were perfecto,aroy makmak crutons in noodle soup or on a salad either way the dog loved em as well,alas Jimmy said the first lot were better.I have decided to end my culinary antics for a while as the Tour De France (thats a long bycycle race in Europe) is now live on telly very exciting...so Weho you will be suprised to learn in my previous life ie; before Thailand i was not a chef in actual fact i was a stand up comedian my stage name was Tubby Clown got gigs at some special places like Rochdale WMC,Burnley YMCA and Grimsby CAB ah! Grimsby a must dont visit location its like Kabul with a beach.....Dare i ask your occupation before Thailand Weho .

Where do I start. First, if you are/were a stand up comedian, I hope that wasn't your "A" material. But before you criticize my use of the word "frickin'" (with an apostrophe on the end), you should learn how to spell the words "a lot" (it's really two words). It's a common mistake, I used to make it often, but then I turned six. But I'm only critical of other's grammar/spelling when they lob the first shot, as you did.

I am very much anti-golf, but I'm even more anti-bicycling races. But I do love the doping scandals. Golf doesn't even have scandals, except the time some golfer claimed he had some kind of handicap, and need to get around the course with a cart, while everyone else had to walk... he was screaming "DISCRIMINATION!", and they were saying "it's a frickin' sport"! I do love in bicycling when every year or so, there's a big pile up, and like 30 or 40 of them go down at the same time... pretty funny stuff.

I don't know any of the comic venues you mentioned, but I can tell you that I am a BIG fan of V I Z magazine, especially the profanisaurus.

My occupation before Thailand: I was a professional golfer. The Dinah Shore Open, with all the "ladies"... if you know what I mean... lots of flannel shirts, and pickup trucks in the parking lot. All staying at the Bee Charmer Inn and Dalila's Inn, or Casitas Laquita, or even the Queen of Hearts Resort. Lots of cats.

And now, it's time to think of new cruton recipies, which I will write in my bastardized English... and I will be sure to use the word "frickin'", with the apostrophe on the end.

But don't make the assumption that I'm an Amerigayian... maybe I'm Thai or Cambodian.

[wilko]

If you haven't got time for the oven (375 degrees!!) - croutons are essentially baked/fried bread - you can do 'em in a fry-pan (skillet). Sautee the cubes.

also if you fry toast it guarantees a good crunchy crouton.

I always use olive oil

[Humphrey Bear]

And now, it's time to think of new cruton recipies, which I will write in my bastardized English...

What's "recipies"? Recipes for pies?

[rambler]

Ah weho u r so obviously an retired septic after your last few retorts.You have let it slip your mind how the English kindly gave u their language becos u didnt have anyone to come up with longer words then u destroy the finest dialect in the world by changing the spellings and worst of all the pronunciation frick the frickin frickers as they say in the good old USofA......I am so sorry that u feel so anti golf , now its finished on the telly gonna get my bats out and get a few rounds in i am actually alot like the infamous golfer Big John Daly (another septic) total sh*** at golf but brilliant a the piss up after.By the way a lovely Irishman Padraig Harrington won i just knew u were itching to find out........Now back to the crutons or croutons i made some more today and bloody lovely they were perfecto,aroy makmak crutons in noodle soup or on a salad either way the dog loved em as well,alas Jimmy said the first lot were better.I have decided to end my culinary antics for a while as the Tour De France (thats a long bycycle race in Europe) is now live on telly very exciting...so Weho you will be suprised to learn in my previous life ie; before Thailand i was not a chef in actual fact i was a stand up comedian my stage name was Tubby Clown got gigs at some special places like Rochdale WMC,Burnley YMCA and Grimsby CAB ah! Grimsby a must dont visit location its like Kabul with a beach.....Dare i ask your occupation before Thailand Weho .

Where do I start. First, if you are/were a stand up comedian, I hope that wasn't your "A" material. But before you criticize my use of the word "frickin'" (with an apostrophe on the end), you should learn how to spell the words "a lot" (it's really two words). It's a common mistake, I used to make it often, but then I turned six. But I'm only critical of other's grammar/spelling when they lob the first shot, as you did.

I am very much anti-golf, but I'm even more anti-bicycling races. But I do love the doping scandals. Golf doesn't even have scandals, except the time some golfer claimed he had some kind of handicap, and need to get around the course with a cart, while everyone else had to walk... he was screaming "DISCRIMINATION!", and they were saying "it's a frickin' sport"! I do love in bicycling when every year or so, there's a big pile up, and like 30 or 40 of them go down at the same time... pretty funny stuff.

I don't know any of the comic venues you mentioned, but I can tell you that I am a BIG fan of V I Z magazine, especially the profanisaurus.

My occupation before Thailand: I was a professional golfer. The Dinah Shore Open, with all the "ladies"... if you know what I mean... lots of flannel shirts, and pickup trucks in the parking lot. All staying at the Bee Charmer Inn and Dalila's Inn, or Casitas Laquita, or even the Queen of Hearts Resort. Lots of cats.

And now, it's time to think of new cruton recipies, which I will write in my bastardized English... and I will be sure to use the word "frickin'", with the apostrophe on the end.

But don't make the assumption that I'm an Amerigayian... maybe I'm Thai or Cambodian.

I think u joke me Weho why do you like to stay so clouded in mystery?I have enquired about your favourite (English spelling)food and previous occupation but you decline an honest answer why? I have to agree with you i loved the VIZ mag, is it still on the go ?PLEASE NOTE MY SERIOUS TONE Tuesday is my day off.

[qualtrough]

I hadn't made croutons in a while but this thread made me want to to that again.

One of the keys to good croutons is starting with suitable bread. The 'Wonderbread' stuff usually available won't cut it. I made some delicious croutons the other day using some rustic bread I bought at Carrefour.

The other key is to make sure that they are absolutely devoid of moisture so that they are crisp. One way to ensure this is to leave them in the oven for a spell after you turn it off. Open the door a few times to get the high heat out so that they don't burn.

Here is what I did to make some croutons that I enjoyed:

Cut four pieces of rustic or similar thick bread into cubes.

Take 1/4 cup of olive oil and add italian seasoning to taste.

Add some grated parmesan to that.

Add a pinch of salt.

Mix that up and then dump the bread and mixture into a bowl and stir it so the cubes get thoroughly coated.

Place the cubes on a flat tray.

Place in a oven from 300-350 until they are light brown. Not sure how long that will be as it can vary depending on your oven.

Turn off oven, open door a few times to waft out high heat, and leave the croutons inside for 30 minutes to make sure they are thoroughly crisp.

You can store croutons a long time in your freezer.

[wilko]

Stale bread makes best croutons

[Weho]

I hadn't made croutons in a while but this thread made me want to to that again.

One of the keys to good croutons is starting with suitable bread. The 'Wonderbread' stuff usually available won't cut it. I made some delicious croutons the other day using some rustic bread I bought at Carrefour.

The other key is to make sure that they are absolutely devoid of moisture so that they are crisp. One way to ensure this is to leave them in the oven for a spell after you turn it off. Open the door a few times to get the high heat out so that they don't burn.

Here is what I did to make some croutons that I enjoyed:

Cut four pieces of rustic or similar thick bread into cubes.

Take 1/4 cup of olive oil and add italian seasoning to taste.

Add some grated parmesan to that.

Add a pinch of salt.

Mix that up and then dump the bread and mixture into a bowl and stir it so the cubes get thoroughly coated.

Place the cubes on a flat tray.

Place in a oven from 300-350 until they are light brown. Not sure how long that will be as it can vary depending on your oven.

Turn off oven, open door a few times to waft out high heat, and leave the croutons inside for 30 minutes to make sure they are thoroughly crisp.

You can store croutons a long time in your freezer.

I have some health and medical concerns about your recipe...

I think rather than SOAKING the cut up cubes into a vat of bowl of oil (even if it's healthy OLIVE oil), they will absorb too much oil, to the point of being unhealthy and artery clogging... (go check out the waiting room of the Bangkok Pattaya Heart Center, I think 4th floor, and ask yourself if you want to be one of those people)... I think it's better to BRUSH on the mixture... onto slices of bread... True, if you cut up the bread AFTER it's been in the oven, the cubes won't come out perfectly symetrical... You can brush on the mixture, THEN slice the bread slices into cubes, THEN put the cubes into the oven. Whatever works for you.

Remember, olive oil is healthy, but only in moderate quantities... you can't just drink the stuff, or soak bread into it thinking it's healthy for you.

I did forget in my original recipe that some parmesean cheese added into the mixture is great... don't overdo it... But I think it's better to put in a little grated cheese into a cruton/garlic bread mixture recipe, than just eat slices of raw cheese.

And yes, quality bread is probably the most important ingredient... whole wheat is the healthiest, Carrefour's rustic is a good choice too.

You should be commended for your suggestion to open the oven door, and make sure they are fully dry.

I will therefore award a rare "smiley" (only one though cause you didn't refer to me as some kind of god).

And to those who have tried it, cruton making is easy, inexpensive and fun for the entire family, (unless you have moved to Pattaya to get away from your family and/or are seriously depressed).

BTW (i'm learning all these little infonet codes), after you make crutons, you can just eat them plain, as a crunchy snack alternative to artery-clogging potato chips... and of course, the more garlic you put in to the mix, the healthier they become.

I have been blessed with a great Thai maid... and I showed her (trying not to be sexist, but the maid is a "her"), and she loves them, and we make them for her to take home to her kids all the time, who also love them. And there are so many variations one can make... you could cut up little pieces of red pepper, onions, etc., and put them into the mix that you BRUSH on, etc... there's no end... maybe even sprinkle in some sunflower seeds... you CAN be creative.

So the moral of all of this: the OP (that's "original poster", i'm learning all this webnet stuff) was complaining about the Pattaya cruton shortage... and you don't have to be beholden to the farang markets... do it yourself... save money, make them better and fresher and healthier... and store the leftovers in the freezer... but i know they won't last long.