Advice Needed Regarding Gf's 4 Year Old.

[TommyGun]

My gf and i have been together for 2 years now and she has a son that i treat as my own who calls me daddy. However im concerend about his diet. His teeth were in a pretty bad state when i met her as his diet mainly contained sweets and pop, fizzy drinks. When i got to know her and found a comfortable time i mentioned the condition of his teeth and about brushing them. Her excuse was that she tried but he gets angry. I have tried the fun approach everythime which at first was very hard, i had to hold him while she brushed his teeth which was quite disturbing for him but it had to be done. He now brushes his teeth freely and even does it without being reminded and finds it fun to do However the prblem i have now is his diet as mentioned above. When i was first in Thailand he was doing fine, but when i had to go to the UK for a while i think the grandmother and Aunt have been feeding purely on sweets. If the GM woke before me he woud be chomping on candy first thing in the morning, while holding a bottle of fizzy pop in his hand. I understand they want to treat him but i can't believe they don't realise what damage they have already caused. Theres boys of similar age that don't have the things my GF's son has but there teeth are in good condition.

We have now moved back to Bangkok after visting family in Sakaeo, but now the problem is with the young aunt who lives with us, who brings him treats evernight after work. I will be sat at the table doing my best to get him to eat something nutritious and the aunt then places donuts infront of him. I have tried to explain that he should only get his treats after he's eaten something good. I feel like i'm going to blow my top over this because no matter how hard you try they just don't see what damage they have done. He is a beautiful boy and people everywhere make comments on him, some think hes a girl because he's got such a cute face but when he smiles it quite shocking and i feel responsible even though he's not my son.

Do i put my foot down or am i asking for trouble. They don't mind me paying for his school fees or anything else for that matter so i feel i have a say.

[TommyGun]

One important thing i forgot to mention. He refuses to go to the toilet to do a number 2 (poo poo) My gf took him to the doctors and said that is poo is have so he will find it painful. They suggested inserting soap into his rectum. As i four year old im sure this would be disturbing for him. What my gf failed to mention is his diet. I'm no doctor but surely thats the problem that makes it hard for him to go.

[think_too_mut]

My gf and i have been together for 2 years now and she has a son that i treat as my own who calls me daddy.

It is not your child.

Whatever you may have achieved is a plus but won't be highly, if at all ,regarded by the environment.

[Bredbury Blue]

My gf and i have been together for 2 years now and she has a son that i treat as my own who calls me daddy.

It is not your child.

Whatever you may have achieved is a plus but won't be highly, if at all ,regarded by the environment.

While it might not be his child, they have been together 2 years so I think we should let the poster judge what's right and wrong, how far he can go and can't go.

My two boys (4 1/2 and 2 1/2) both hate cleaning their teeth and its a daily battle which i only get involved in at the weekend. With the older one, after he's annoyed me enough, i give him a clint eastwood style, you want the hard way or the easy way - hard is me pinning him down with my legs and one arm and jamming the brush in - he virtually always wants the easy and the problem is averted. Try cleaning his teeth with your finger in a thin wet cloth and just rubbing - soemtimes better than using a tooth brush. Also get him down a dentist now, its cheap, and if they are unimpressed then hopefully the peer pressure of the mor fan will work on your girlfriend.

I also have problems with the thai side of the family feeding them up with the wrong things. My oldest is goign to be a big 6 footer even though a luuk krung, and now he's bordering on the large side. We are trying to limit his food but he can have as much fruit afterwards as he wants. His fav is fish and sticky rice which he'll every meal if we let him. Its difficult but we're keeping a close track on him as once he goes tubby we reckon he'll stay tubby. Introducing him to new foods is very difficult, but there was a first at the weekend, he had barbequed squid we he licked.

As for the toilet problem, again it seems to be a common problem. Sometimes both my kids can go days then they'll go everyday. Seems to depend on what they eat i guess, and where we are (less frequent visits away in hotels). Fruit seems to be the answer - oranges in particular.

We've just had great success with our 4 yr old and his getting up during the night problem by using a reward system - sleep throught the night get a nice toy story sticker, get ten and he goes to the toy shop. Took about 4 weeks to cure him but cure his it has. Try is with cleaning teeth, tolet visits, etc, it works.

[TommyGun]

My gf and i have been together for 2 years now and she has a son that i treat as my own who calls me daddy. However im concerend about his diet. His teeth were in a pretty bad state when i met her as his diet mainly contained sweets and pop, fizzy drinks. When i got to know her and found a comfortable time i mentioned the condition of his teeth and about brushing them. Her excuse was that she tried but he gets angry. I have tried the fun approach everythime which at first was very hard, i had to hold him while she brushed his teeth which was quite disturbing for him but it had to be done. He now brushes his teeth freely and even does it without being reminded and finds it fun to do However the prblem i have now is his diet as mentioned above. When i was first in Thailand he was doing fine, but when i had to go to the UK for a while i think the grandmother and Aunt have been feeding purely on sweets. If the GM woke before me he woud be chomping on candy first thing in the morning, while holding a bottle of fizzy pop in his hand. I understand they want to treat him but i can't believe they don't realise what damage they have already caused. Theres boys of similar age that don't have the things my GF's son has but there teeth are in good condition.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>please dont white about me and my son because i dont want you to help and do anything for me ok,get on with your life and forget me im sure you can,good luck

We have now moved back to Bangkok after visting family in Sakaeo, but now the problem is with the young aunt who lives with us, who brings him treats evernight after work. I will be sat at the table doing my best to get him to eat something nutritious and the aunt then places donuts infront of him. I have tried to explain that he should only get his treats after he's eaten something good. I feel like i'm going to blow my top over this because no matter how hard you try they just don't see what damage they have done. He is a beautiful boy and people everywhere make comments on him, some think hes a girl because he's got such a cute face but when he smiles it quite shocking and i feel responsible even though he's not my son.

Do i put my foot down or am i asking for trouble. They don't mind me paying for his school fees or anything else for that matter so i feel i have a say.

[TBWG]

Hi TG

Not sure about the teeth, but plenty of fresh squeezed Orange Juice should cure the other problem Certainly works for me. Should do him good as well health vitamin wise.

TBWG

[raindrops]

Put your foot down. You're doing the right thing for the boy. Who cares if he is yours or not, you have been living with his mother for two years and you are paying for his other stuff. But you should talk to his mother first, make sure she understands that you are doing it for the benefit of her son. I believe that you are the only man of the house...act like one and be firm. Good luck.

[leisurely]

I would add to the comments that he should be drinking plenty of water for his constipation too. You could consider flluoride tablets to supplement the toothpaste. Our daughters have had them all their lives `(initially it was drops in water) and they both have stunning teeth. Make those into a sort of treat, after you clean your teeth you can have a special tooth sweety. Also, please take him to a dentist to have them looked at. There are some brilliant childrens dentist's in Bkk and they don't cost the earth.

I think you have the right to say what he should eat and should't. You are after all his father (not biologically but in the other ways that count)

Good luck