Thai Visa Brings Out The Worst In People

[garro]

Sorry about the title but I am trying to keep it Thai related, what I really mean that forums generally can bring out the worst in people. Most threads end up in a clash of egos with nobody listening to anyone else. I know because I am probably one of the worst offenders . I often leave this or other forums feeling bad about insulting others or feeling slighted. I sometimes wonder what the point of it all is?

Don't get me wrong. There are some fantastic threads with great info but when your busy defending your own post it can be difficult to see the value in others. Is this just me?

I imagine that almost everyone here likes Thailand and can feel very protective of this. We all have unique experiences in the land of LOS and it is easy to dismiss the experiences of others.

What ya think? Are these forums just an excuse to verbally assault as many people as possible and attempt to be the 'big man' on campus?

BTW, I apologise to anyone I have previously insulted in the heat of a debate here.

[britmaveric]

[taxexile]

i think its therapeutic to be able to have a pop at the self inflated or ill informed.

i insult , and have been insulted , but its only a forum and shouldnt be taken too seriously.

[sigmondfreed]

Sorry about the title but I am trying to keep it Thai related, what I really mean that forums generally can bring out the worst in people. Most threads end up in a clash of egos with nobody listening to anyone else. I know because I am probably one of the worst offenders . I often leave this or other forums feeling bad about insulting others or feeling slighted. I sometimes wonder what the point of it all is?

Don't get me wrong. There are some fantastic threads with great info but when your busy defending your own post it can be difficult to see the value in others. Is this just me?

I imagine that almost everyone here likes Thailand and can feel very protective of this. We all have unique experiences in the land of LOS and it is easy to dismiss the experiences of others.

What ya think? Are these forums just an excuse to verbally assault as many people as possible and attempt to be the 'big man' on campus?

BTW, I apologise to anyone I have previously insulted in the heat of a debate here.

Garro, I think, sometimes, one of the downsides to any chat forum is we don't have access to the non-verbal cues that we have when listening and seeing a speaker face-to-face. We rely very much on small, non-verbal signals which tell us when a speaker is being serious, or joking, or asking an embedded question, etc.

That's my theory...part of it, anyway!

[onzestan]

I have to admit that also I am guilty as charged.

However if a genuine question is asked you get a lot of useful information, and some of the topics are simply hilarious.

There certainly are some weird caracters (one in particular comes to mind) but many of the posters are very honest about their feelings on a particular subject. That I don't always agree that's another question entirely.

Cheers

onzestan

[garro]

i think its therapeutic to be able to have a pop at the self inflated or ill informed.

i insult , and have been insulted , but its only a forum and shouldnt be taken too seriously.

The problem for me taxexile is that I am not sure there is any therapeutic value for me in finding fault with others.

[sceadugenga]

People bring out the worst in people. If everybody agreed with what I said there be no problems.

[jasreeve17]

I agree with all the comments.

People are people... we all use the forum for different things at different times. Often as a venting vehicle.

Also, I think that this medium is fairly weak as a communication form. But, it can be useful, and it can be fun.

Even the worst posters can be really helpful at times. And the best posters have their ignorant moments too.

[stickman]

I personally think the problem is not limited to Thai Visa but is widespread across all of the Thailand based discussion forums.

Most of the forums in Thailand allow people to say the sorts of things that they would never dream of saying in person. Seriously, if some of the comments said to you in this forum were said to people's faces there'd be fists clenched, at the very least.

Then there is also the issue that for some people the discussion forums are a bit of fun, a place to have a laugh and say some daft things whereas for others they are a serious source of information. Everyone has different needs and wants with the forums.

And my favourite is Jungle Jim syndrome. People who have lived in Thailand for a long time and feel threatened by those who have just arrived. They then set about attacking every little thing that person says or does. When this happens, threads no longer have any value as a source of information.

[geoffphuket]

I agree with all the comments.

People are people... we all use the forum for different things at different times. Often as a venting vehicle.

Also, I think that this medium is fairly weak as a communication form. But, it can be useful, and it can be fun.

Even the worst posters can be really helpful at times. And the best posters have their ignorant moments too.

It's me.....and it's me again

[jasreeve17]

I agree with all the comments.

People are people... we all use the forum for different things at different times. Often as a venting vehicle.

Also, I think that this medium is fairly weak as a communication form. But, it can be useful, and it can be fun.

Even the worst posters can be really helpful at times. And the best posters have their ignorant moments too.

It's me.....and it's me again

Actually, I was thinking about you when I wrote it Geoff. I'm not saying which bit...

[garro]

I personally think the problem is not limited to Thai Visa but is widespread across all of the Thailand based discussion forums.

Most of the forums in Thailand allow people to say the sorts of things that they would never dream of saying in person. Seriously, if some of the comments said to you in this forum were said to people's faces there'd be fists clenched, at the very least.

Then there is also the issue that for some people the discussion forums are a bit of fun, a place to have a laugh and say some daft things whereas for others they are a serious source of information. Everyone has different needs and wants with the forums.

And my favourite is Jungle Jim syndrome. People who have lived in Thailand for a long time and feel threatened by those who have just arrived. They then set about attacking every little thing that person says or does. When this happens, threads no longer have any value as a source of information.

What is it with Thailand? I have lived in other foreign countries and this is by far the worst when it comes to judging other's motivations and distrusting other ex-pats. Again I have been guilty of this.

[Naam]

Garro, I think, sometimes, one of the downsides to any chat forum is we don't have access to the non-verbal cues that we have when listening and seeing a speaker face-to-face. We rely very much on small, non-verbal signals which tell us when a speaker is being serious, or joking, or asking an embedded question, etc.

That's my theory...part of it, anyway!

not only a theory but a fact. you are "right on the money" as the americans say.

[jasreeve17]

Garro, I think, sometimes, one of the downsides to any chat forum is we don't have access to the non-verbal cues that we have when listening and seeing a speaker face-to-face. We rely very much on small, non-verbal signals which tell us when a speaker is being serious, or joking, or asking an embedded question, etc.

That's my theory...part of it, anyway!

not only a theory but a fact. you are "right on the money" as the americans say.

It's always money money money with you.

[garro]

Sorry about the title but I am trying to keep it Thai related, what I really mean that forums generally can bring out the worst in people. Most threads end up in a clash of egos with nobody listening to anyone else. I know because I am probably one of the worst offenders . I often leave this or other forums feeling bad about insulting others or feeling slighted. I sometimes wonder what the point of it all is?

Don't get me wrong. There are some fantastic threads with great info but when your busy defending your own post it can be difficult to see the value in others. Is this just me?

I imagine that almost everyone here likes Thailand and can feel very protective of this. We all have unique experiences in the land of LOS and it is easy to dismiss the experiences of others.

What ya think? Are these forums just an excuse to verbally assault as many people as possible and attempt to be the 'big man' on campus?

BTW, I apologise to anyone I have previously insulted in the heat of a debate here.

Garro, I think, sometimes, one of the downsides to any chat forum is we don't have access to the non-verbal cues that we have when listening and seeing a speaker face-to-face. We rely very much on small, non-verbal signals which tell us when a speaker is being serious, or joking, or asking an embedded question, etc.

That's my theory...part of it, anyway!

I agree. I can have a bit of a dry sense of humor which probably doesn't always come across well in a chat forum.

[taxexile]

i think its therapeutic to be able to have a pop at the self inflated or ill informed

The problem for me taxexile is that I am not sure there is any therapeutic value for me in finding fault with others.

it is not the insulter who would gain , it is the insultee who stands to gain any therapeutic value .

we all have our faults , post stupidly or sometimes put forward illogical arguments , and it should be of value to us when they are pointed out. .

on a forum you cant hit out when attacked , you have to take it on board , often its just nonsense , but sometimes a comment will hit home.

look on it as a public service.

[November Rain]

How can you judge whether it's bringing out the worst in people, or not? Most of us know very few other members, so how can we judge if we're being shown their best or worst sides?

I've met perhaps 4 TV members (that I know of) and talked to 3 more on the phone. I've found them all to be very like their screen "personas", but then, I liked their screen personas, anyway. Otherwise I wouldn't have agreed to meet up/speak. The negative people & trolls might not be showing their worst side - it might be their only side!

Seriously, though. Don't take anything said on here or other forums too much to heart. I actually enjoy a good constructive argument (or should that be "debate"?). Some members are far better than others at that, as they can argue without getting personal & have a sense of humour, if I try to use humour to diffuse the situation. I've found from experience not to even start arguing with some other members...

[t.s]

i think its therapeutic to be able to have a pop at the self inflated or ill informed.

i insult , and have been insulted , but its only a forum and shouldnt be taken too seriously.

The problem for me taxexile is that I am not sure there is any therapeutic value for me in finding fault with others.

if you are getting wound up you are overlooking the fact that this is entertainment and should not be seen as anything more.

[chevykanteve]

Garro, I think, sometimes, one of the downsides to any chat forum is we don't have access to the non-verbal cues that we have when listening and seeing a speaker face-to-face. We rely very much on small, non-verbal signals which tell us when a speaker is being serious, or joking, or asking an embedded question, etc.

That's my theory...part of it, anyway!

not only a theory but a fact. you are "right on the money" as the americans say.

Dr. Naam,

I thought you WERE American! In actual fact, was I mistaken???

[qwertz]

For me, TV and its members are a welcome diversion from hours of boring computer translations.

I log in because I'm interested in what other people think and how they think; and I often have a good chuckle.

I've made a number of cyber friends and I'm sure I'd like them as much if we ever get to meet.

However, you can't possibly judge a person's character from anonymous missives.

I don't speak as I write - who does in truth?

Reading a book or article tells me nothing about how the author is in person.

If I meet someone, I know more about them in the first 5 minutes than from hours of reading their posts.

It's communication nevertheless and should be valued as such.

[LostInBKK]

ive no qualms with lively discussion, its never malice. BRING IT ON.

LOL, I agree....

People now days get all butt-hurt about everything...I personally think that people get "insulted" because they let themselves feel insulted. Life is much easier when you just don't give a f***.

[Fred Sanford]

OP, I fear that you might have too much time on your hands

[JetsetBkk]

Dr. Naam,

I thought you WERE American! In actual fact, was I mistaken???

I thought he was Klingon.

[qwertz]

I suspect the Doctor is an educated Manchester chav like me.

[garro]

OP, I fear that you might have too much time on your hands

I know, great isn't it

[Upcountry]

Garro, I feel like starting a thread like this from time to time, and not because I have lots of time. As said earlier, text based communication leaves a lot to be desired. That said, the writer could then try extra hard to make sure the correct meaning is conveyed. Assuming he or she cares.

I think the main problem is that many posters don't give much thought to how their posts will affect people (any more than the blind motorbike rider on his cellphone thinks about how his darting around will affect other drivers, etc.). There are many effects.

Sometimes it is a kind of offense, caused by mean spirited or trollish insults. I think that's what most people think of as a bad effect.

Other times it is more simple kind of "netiquette" or "forumiquette" issue, such as quoting an entire previous post that is already full of earlier posts, just to add a "hear hear", "no no" or "<deleted>".

As for quoted posts, it's too bad that the forum software doesn't highlight the "tags" in color, so that "<qoute>" can be easily spotted. But its not usually necessary to quote anything - select all and delete doesn't require any web programming knowledge. Otherwise delete everything except the <quote> tags and the sentence you want to focus on.

For that matter, numerous single word, flatulent and otherwise silly responses, that don't really attempt to answer the OP question, just fill up the mailboxes of anyone who has subscribed to the tread. That's an effect that I doubt anyone seriously considers. But since the email subject lines don't even indicate the thread name, it causes me to consider unsubscribing to threads that get busy with potshots even if I'm interested in useful follow-ups.

Some of us have nothing better to do than browse through cruft and contribute to it, but I guess I'm not one of them - right now I'm questioning whether I should even be 'wasting' time replying to this!

I've been thinking of suggesting a rating system similar to Amazon, and other web places, where readers can indicate whether or not a post was helpful. We could have a TV web page where all members are ranked by the number of constructive or useless posts they've made. Problem is it would probably descend into a darker version of the buyer/seller rating snits that happen on eBay!

Well, I really got myself started here, probably get a few negative stars for this one!

But I think some discussion and reflection on how we can be better net-citizens is worthwhile. BTW, I appreciate a good joke on this forum as much as the next guy, but at the same time I hate to see threads diminished by trollish and egotistical behavior.

One more thing - never hurts to say you're sorry.

[Upcountry]

if you are getting wound up you are overlooking the fact that this is entertainment and should not be seen as anything more.

Hey, ts, just noticed your post (under the nested quoted text!)

Sure TV is entertaining sometimes.

But, you know, if this was just entertainment - nothing more - I wouldn't be here. I'd be looking for information about living in Thailand somewhere else.

TV presents itself as a center of useful information, with knowledgeable contributors. I think that's it greatest strength.

[jasreeve17]

Upcountry, you seem to worry too much about the internet being just as you'd like it.

But, it's for everyone. Different strokes for different folks.

You have the choice to be involved, or not, where and when you like, at you whim. Others have that right too. Do you consider their thoughts (which may be very different from yours) before you post. - In the internet World of unending choices it would be impossible to.

Having a basic respect for all others and enjoying yourself would be a good starting point.

Enjoy.

[qwertz]

The cynical, unsympathetic posters should take into account that some people with real problems tend to use this board as a source of advice.

They may really need help and they will take seriously what we post.

There is a PM facility and it should be used in some cases, if only to advise such people that very few board members are qualified to counsel.

[jasreeve17]

The cynical, unsympathetic posters should take into account that some people with real problems tend to use this board as a source of advice.

They may really need help and they will take seriously what we post.

There is a PM facility and it should be used in some cases, if only to advise such people that very few board members are qualified to counsel.

I think that people that post with genuine problems are usually helped pretty well.

Lopburi3 is a standout poster, but everyone helps the needy best they can.

We have different areas of expertise too. For example; Bendix can really wind people up, but he has been very useful on many threads too.