Advice Re Thai Gf Honesty

[soundman]

Very good answer and advise, i think we all know what we would do if a new (ish) girlfriend lied to us in our home countries, but common sense seems to go out the window as its a thai,.i left 300.000 baht in my bank and gave my girlfriend (then ) access to it and went back to the uk for 3 weeks,. i told her whilst i was away if she needed money for anything to take what she needed, ! ( yes yes i know now,read on ),you know what im going to say now dont you? ,.yep youre right, when i got back all but the pet dog had been ill and the lot was gone, she was not a bar girl but worked as telephonist at a hotel, i dumped her right away,.,i did it again ! with another girl, she spent 1500 baht of it on something for me !, i married her 7 years ago, shes a super girl, dont give up, they are about,.

Didn't learn your lesson on the first outing? It is amazing how "losing" money like that can feel like a buck well spent! No harm as long as you enjoy yourself....

[qwertz]

It's just a forum.

Maybe maccado wants the anonymity while wrestling with his thoughts.

Or maybe he wants a projection of the probable future scenario from people who've been there.

So, maccado, here's a page from my personal history.

Only two women lied to me in my whole life; one was my wife, a Scot and the other a live in lover, a German.

They were just women, like the Thais.

They started off by lying and predictably finished by lying.

My assessment - the art of lying is based on finding someone who trusts you enough to believe you.

Their mistake in both cases, I only trust once and then it's second strike out.

Apart from these two disappointments I've always been well treated by women in general.

Hope this helps macc, my advice - drop her as fast as gravity will allow before she hones her lying skills.

[mikethevigoman]

I think u should look for someone in uk or so.. dont complicate your self with thai gals

There you go lads, that's all the advice you will ever need, stick with your own kind and live an uncomplicated life with honest women.

Oh please no, dont make me do that !

[Maigo6]

what answers is he really exp0ecting here?

The same answers any Troll expects when posting!

Your bit of a troll yourself Maigo!!!

Brit, I resemble that remark!

[mikethevigoman]

Still can't understand why anybody would come to a forum for advice about relationships. For me it says it all.

Nor me, look at all the shit hes had to suffer !

[mikethevigoman]

Very good answer and advise, i think we all know what we would do if a new (ish) girlfriend lied to us in our home countries, but common sense seems to go out the window as its a thai,.i left 300.000 baht in my bank and gave my girlfriend (then ) access to it and went back to the uk for 3 weeks,. i told her whilst i was away if she needed money for anything to take what she needed, ! ( yes yes i know now,read on ),you know what im going to say now dont you? ,.yep youre right, when i got back all but the pet dog had been ill and the lot was gone, she was not a bar girl but worked as telephonist at a hotel, i dumped her right away,.,i did it again ! with another girl, she spent 1500 baht of it on something for me !, i married her 7 years ago, shes a super girl, dont give up, they are about,.

Didn't learn your lesson on the first outing? It is amazing how "losing" money like that can feel like a buck well spent! No harm as long as you enjoy yourself....

I did, spent 1mil US in 4 years ,now happily settled, thankyou Edited August 7, 2007 by mikethevigoman

[Maigo6]

True. I've been here for years and haven't yet figured out if you're a troll, embittered, a bit batty or just a combination of the three.

Trollish, hmmmm, as I go against the Thai bashing majority most of the time and don't agree with most other peoples views of Thai people, then I can see why one would assume me to be a tad trollish.

Embittered, no, not at all.

Batty, absolutely.

2 outta 3 ain't bad Vic.

[soundman]

I did, spent 1mil US in 4 years ,now happily settled, thankyou

Could have bought a Ferrari with that....

[Maigo6]

I did, spent 1mil US in 4 years ,now happily settled, thankyou

Could have bought a Ferrari with that....

Who wants a Ferrari when one has a new Fortuner Smart on order!

[mikethevigoman]

I did, spent 1mil US in 4 years ,now happily settled, thankyou

Could have bought a Ferrari with that....

Woulnt have had as much fun though !

[qwertz]

Nice to have you back, maigo, the forum was flagging.

[soundman]

Who wants a Ferrari when one has a new Fortuner Smart on order!

Haven't seen the new model. Superior to last years (2006) model? Upgrades? Better creature comforts?

[mikethevigoman]

I did, spent 1mil US in 4 years ,now happily settled, thankyou

Could have bought a Ferrari with that....

Who wants a Ferrari when one has a new Fortuner Smart on order!

Exactly ..in 1985 i had a nisan 28zx auto, on a whim i bought a ferrari 308gtb ( magnum inspired me! ) i drove it for a month, it was awful,uncomfortabe,couldnt see out of it, and every bird puller in his xr 3i ( also known as the ford clitorus ) wanted to race you, so i got rid and got back in my 280, heaven, auto and like a pair of old slipppers, just felt right, no my sports car days are over, im getting a fortuner, mainly to piss off a load of our fellow members !

[Maigo6]

Nice to have you back, maigo, the forum was flagging.

Cheers mate, I am back at work now, so it's back to posting too.

I already been accused of being a troll..............

[mikethevigoman]

Nice to have you back, maigo, the forum was flagging.

Cheers mate, I am back at work now, so it's back to posting too.

I already been accused of being a troll..............

They shouldnt judge people by their appearance ! .

[Maigo6]

my sports car days are over, im getting a fortuner, mainly to piss off a load of our fellow members !

Mike I will be interested in seeing what your performance is like if you put a new chip in.

I have my Fortuner in Pattaya and should be back in 2 - 3 Months, maybe we can terrorise a few Farangs on motorcycles together, only if they are Thai Visa members of course!

[mikethevigoman]

my sports car days are over, im getting a fortuner, mainly to piss off a load of our fellow members !

Mike I will be interested in seeing what your performance is like if you put a new chip in.

I have my Fortuner in Pattaya and should be back in 2 - 3 Months, maybe we can terrorise a few Farangs on motorcycles together, only if they are Thai Visa members of course!

We have a date my friend ! ,do you like my new wheels ive got for it !

Edited August 7, 2007 by mikethevigoman

[OxfordWill]

The truth is the truth and a lie is a lie in any culture. The problem is that in Thailand it is acceptable to twist lies into truth. Small and insignificant matters may be acceptable, but this perversion runs deep here, particularly when money and/or romance is concerned.

That's a typical rationalist comment. But Thailand is not, last time I checked, a rationalist nor cartesian culture.

Culturally speaking Thais may as well be a different species to westernerns, neither "higher" nor "lower" just different. I can remember a time I found that hard to understand, so I sympathise if you do too. It is nevertheless the case that the concept of truth in Thailand does not carry the same weight as it does in western countries. It's actually way way way down the list and the KEY to this is understanding that this is necessary and good for Thais.

Edited August 8, 2007 by OxfordWill

[jumnien]

When asked, "would you rather be right or be happy?", most Thais will answer "happy", most farangs will answer "right". The Thais follow a religion that professes to lead to happiness. The farangs follow a religion that professes to lead to righteousness. It all makes sense.

[Suszzy]

has the op made his mind up yet

does anyone know?

just wonder how the story ends?

[OxfordWill]

Is there anything - ANYTHING - so sad as a farang guy desperately trying to convince himself that what is obviously black is, in fact, white?

Sad. Very sad.

Normal Thai people DO NOT LIE AND STEAL. And they certainly don't lie and steal from someone they supposedly like or love.

Damian

Sorry, I noticed you're from Canada, and I'm sorry to inform you that you have inadvertently stumbled on a Thailand forum. Please check your browser, there may have been some error.

I just erased my whole reply to Damien's comment because yours will suffice.

[WaiWai]

The Thais follow a religion that professes to lead to happiness.

Is "truth" not one goal of the philosophy of Buddhism ? Is "happiness" then "truth" to a Buddhist ? How is this "truth" defined ?

[cdnvic]

When asked, "would you rather be right or be happy?", most Thais will answer "happy", most farangs will answer "right". The Thais follow a religion that professes to lead to happiness. The farangs follow a religion that professes to lead to righteousness. It all makes sense.

Never saw a Buddhist text that promised happiness. "The farangs" that follow religion at all are in a minority on most countries.

[jumnien]

You might like "Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness" by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana

[maccado]

To update this situation, i have decided to send 3000 baht to my gf so she can study. Obviously this has thrown me a warning and i am much more cautious about this relationship than i was previously.

However this has also made us talk more openly about money which has so far been a subject we have not really talked about at any real depth in this relationship.

I do believe she is sorry for what she did and did so because of mitigating circumstances. I say this because on the 2 occasions i have visited her in thailand i have offered to give her a little money when i have left but she would never accept it.

I am sure there will be people reading this thinking what a sucker, as i know that that would be my reaction if i read this, but i have decided to proceed all be it at a much slower and cautious pace.

[jumnien]

Sounds like you are on the road to happiness!

[canadiangirl]

When asked, "would you rather be right or be happy?", most Thais will answer "happy", most farangs will answer "right". The Thais follow a religion that professes to lead to happiness. The farangs follow a religion that professes to lead to righteousness. It all makes sense.

Never saw a Buddhist text that promised happiness.

I agree, cndvic!

I don't claim to be an expert on Buddhism, but isn't one of the big truths of Buddhism "all life is suffering"?

[Maigo6]

To update this situation, i have decided to send 3000 baht to my gf so she can study.

Your generosity is overwhelming.

[torrenova]

Hi all i am new to this forum allthough i have been reading it for a while

Anyway the reason i have got around to posting is that basically i have a thai gf she is currently living in thailand and i am living in the uk, i have known her for about 6 months during which time i have been to thailand twice to see her and when i am not in thailand we are in regular contact. Anyway she is not a bargirl she has a full time job in an office and has never asked me for anything. I am planning on going to thailand to live with her for 6 months later in the year to see how we get on and see if anything serious becomes of it. Her english is not brilliant and she is keen to learn so i suggested she have lessons which i would pay for, she was very happy with this. Yesterday she got back to me to ask for 15,000 baht for english lessons at aua. Well i checked on the aua website and the real cost is actually about 2000 baht. I confronted her with this and she told me she needed money for her mum ......

Anyway i believe she is genuinely sorry for what she has done and she has promised she would never lie to me again .....

What do people think is there any chance of a future in this relationship could i learn to trust her again. Is she being genuine or should i get out of this now.

I am open to any suggestions, ridicule or advice and i am not a troll

Lets start at the beginning. You have a girlfriend as you call her but it sounds like you did not meet her in Thailand or in the UK, perhaps online ? You have been to see her twice in 6 months. She works but has lied to you about money. How many other people is she doing the same to ? Sorry but no matter how much you think you love her you hardly know her, you live in different countries and if you really did meet her online then you are probably not the only one being hoodwinked. Cut her loose.

[frikkiedeboer]

Will she see this as me being weak and effectively think she can get away with deception or will she think ok i made a mistake lets learn from this and not do it again.

Better still, let her see how you deal with minor problems by letting her see your posts in this thread.

I think she will see you for being a bit of an emotional weakling and dump you for a real man.

Problem solved.

"beat her with a big stick, and teach her you are not weak." (thai tourist-police advice to me when i tried laying a charge against my ex wife after i made the mistake of trusting her with my money.....- the only time!)

mogwai 6- the op posted asking for advice on a forum where he is most likely to meet, or recieve replies from people who have had similar experiences, and thus can offer educated and sane advice. it seems you get off on making snyde remarks, and rubbing people up the wrong way. i just did a search of your posts, and this seems to be the trend. why not try actually start a thread of your own for a change, or do you have nothing of value to offer?

i look forward to reading a thread started by yourself which does not involve your trying to show what a smart-ass you are, or is not offensive to normal people who post asking for advice, or to discuss topics which are actually relevant to life for expats in thailand. (correct me if i am wrong, but is this not the very reason the forum exists?)

we all had a great break while you were off on holiday.............

frikkie