Do's And Don't Around Thai Police

[Debaryman101]

How to act around them? Listen to what they say If not will they take you away?

I always wondered about this.

Thanks

[chanchao]

Same like you would around police back home. Nothing scary about them.

Might even be helpful. I commonly ask police for advice on how to get somewhere in a city I don't know. My girlfriend always gets a heart-attack when I do this but so far only met very friendly helpful police officers. Some actually offered to show me the way and drive me there!

Cheers,

Chanchao

[Debaryman101]

When i was in thailand last i went to ask a policeman and my wife did the same isn't there job to help people?

i was just wondering because my dad told me don't bother the police at all. Thanks for the insight

[keda]

I think your dad meant don't bother them with trouble. In my experience - as a farang - they're not a bad lot, and whenever, without exception, whenever I have had cause to draw them into any problem I have found them to be extremely helpful. Usually costs a tip, but that ought to go without saying.

keda

[zappa]

Never admit to speaking or understanding Thai. Got me out of a few fines.

Always carry a photo copy of your passport if your not carrying it, especially in BKK.

Always SMILE.

If your on a motorcycle, get your helmet off quick, they tend to move you on as soon as they realize your farlang. To much hassle

Other than that, be as polite as humanly possible and take into account what <deleted> money these guys are on, ask 'em for a beer if your in your local area, always pays to be known and liked by these guys, it can save serious hassels if you do have a problem.

Little story a policeman on Kho Chang told me about a guy who liked his ale, a lot, and had overstayed his visa but refused to do anything about it. He used to drink and play pool with the police. They took a liking to this chap and didn't want him to get into trouble. So one night a few of them jumped him, handcuffed him in the back of a pick-up and took him to the nearest border point, got him re-visad, got him pissed and dropped him back at his favourite bar. Now there's service for ya

[royar2002]

Thaigirls are afraid police, army, teacher or others in uniform.

[Ajarn]

How to act around them?  Listen to what they say  If not will they take you away?

I always wondered about this.  

Thanks

Interesting question

As some have suggeted, often times playing the ignorant, fast-talking (an especially effective yet safe annoyance....) Tourist is the best shot. Like traffic stops and such...But if you do get stopped and you feel particularly uncomfortable, then insist on moving everything to the station, which is your right. Don't act the victim, for all animals can smell blood.

For really serious situations, like accidents, crime victim, etc., drop the ignorant farang act. Playing it straight and clear with the police in such situations has been best, in my experience. If you speak Thai, use it (If you can't speak Thai, get a Thai friend to help pronto!). At that point, you are immediately going to be included more in the process, and you will have a better chance of things working your way or being able to negotiate better....assuming you're not to blame. I've never been the one to blame, so I can offer no real advice around that...

In my cases where I've been the victim (dog bite, accident, songkran drunk, burglary, hotel theft), the cops have always done their job perfectly well. In a couple of cases, I got a smile from the shock on the face of a couple of Thai transgressors, who were told to pay up, or stay in the monkey house.... I never paid one baht for anything, but I did sometimes later send the boss a gift basket of booze- and anything else.

Oh, if you ever do get friendly with any serious Bigshots, ask for their name card. Sometimes they will initial it. Keep this card, for it could help you in a pinch.

[Padkapow Guy]

A few years back I got talked into drinking with some local cops near my brother in laws place in prachinburi. I had a few beers and everything was fine. Then they brought out the wiskey. I warned them that wiskey turns me into a mean S.O.B. ( It's like putting on a superman cape)but they insisted on it. They told me not to worry that I was with the police. I don't remember everything exactly but my wife said they called her to come and take me home. Apparently they do not like to be put in a head lock. Every time I see them now the always say "no wiskey for you" The wife told me my brother in law had to smooth things over with them. i am still not exactly sure what happened that night.

[GuestHouse]

My Neighbour is a captain in the Thai Police force, he tells me if ever I have a problem go see him, don't go down the police station myself.

All the good stories you hear about the Thai police are fine, but you get the wrong side of one of them and you will realise exactly what maffia means.

I take my neighbour's advice, I stay well clear of them. If I need directions I ask someone else, there is always someone else.

[RamdomChances]

Dont, try to discuss the socioeconomic inpacts on coruption in the thai police force.

Dont make and derogatory remarks, about their parentage, or their mothers, sisters,wives ect

Dont say its not your fault cos you've been drinking all day.

Dont tell them to find a tailor cos their uniforms to thight and makes them look fat.

Dont poke them with sticks

And never ever tell them they probably dont know how to use that gun and couldnt shot straight even if they did.

Theres probably more but these have always worked for me

[Nam Kao]

There are good cops and bad cops, to be safe i'd be polite and try to avoid them

I went to a Sonkran party in Thap Klao, the main drag was full of people, I

the only falang for miles. We were in a back of a pickup truck with 3 55 gallon

drums of ice cold water. As we approached the soi party all vehicles were

stopped by this mean looking cop and he barked orders to the driver of

each vehicle. Dont do this - Dont do that etc then sent them slowly into the mass

of people. Typical Songkran. So our truck now is approaching this cop, I

notice he is in perfect clean and dry condition. The other police were soaked

and smiling. Everyone seemed afraid to throw water on this one cop. So me the

ting tong falang looks over at my wife also in the back of the truck and I just

smile and point at the cop. My wifes face went white instantly and started yelling

NO NO. My hand reaches into the 55 gallon drum filling a big bucket of ice and

water. I am laughing now and all the people even the kids in the tuck are yelling MAI MAI

MAI with very scared looks as my wife tells them my intentions. We pull up to the

Cop and he starts talking to my driver. He hasnt seen me yet. I stand with the

bucket and look around. 2 other thai cops see me and know what exactly what i am

doing they start waving there arms shaking their heads no. Well I had about 6

beer changs by that time of the day. I nailed the cop perfectly, completely soaked

him. He froze and suddenly the crowd got very quiet. He pulls out his

nightstick and slowly turns around ready to explode. His face beet red. He turns

to us and everyone in the truck starts yelling in thai nervously and pointing to

me. When his eyes meet mine he looks at me and yells AHH Falang!!!! and

walks away angry.

My wife said later if i was a thai he would have pulverized me.

[Rinrada]

You would have deserved it

[350torana]

When i married my wife , i married into a family of police . Brother in law a commando and father a retired high ranking policeman . I have never had any trouble with police but seen what the infuence of being a daughter of a police family can do. Nothing serious, but been on a few trips with khun dad and 'sponsored' at restuarnts, hotels ect. Shocked me at first and now insist on paying my own way. But know any problems with the police would get sorted out pretty quickly.

[stroll]

I also find individual officers helpful and polite when asked for help in simple everyday matters, and even after traffic offences. When they are in 'crimepatrol' mode, I avoid them like I would anywhere in the world.

But there is a dark side as well, they have a bad reputation for being corrupt or even actively involved in organised crime. For example, I would be a fool to report any of the local casinos (gambling is illegal), the police are well aware of the locations and who is runnung the games, either they receive 'tea money', or a more powerful politician or businessman is protecting the operations, or both.

[RamdomChances]

On a more helpful not than my last posting. If you are ever driving around "up country" and are cought short (needing to use the toilet for our non english friends). Stop at any police box, station they will happly let you use the facilities, bring your own paper though.

Obviously while there follow the rules of my previous post

[stroll]

My requests of the same nature at Bangkok policestations have also been met with friendly hospitality.

[20yearsinthai]

Thaigirls are afraid police, army, teacher or others in uniform.

Dont forget their shadows

[rainman]

Don't shoot at them. They seem to hate that. I heard of a guy who did that and they supposedly went after him. Crazy.

[Martin]

Ours are great.

Do be 'sanuck'.

Don't be over-familiar.

Outside our own district I always say "Phum mae poot Thai. Phum poot Lao nid noi. Sip kaem. Bo peng yang, krarp", and they fall about laughing.

That means (I believe) "This man doesn't speak Thai. This man speaks Lao a little bit. Ten words. But never mind, it's no big deal, is it, please?".

If they have to tell me something (like the fact that the radar gun said I was doing 147 knots down the highway) I take it easy, and smile puzzledly, and then smile as if the penny has dropped, and smilingly draw a little picture of the speedo and the needle at 147 and smile apologetically, and then draw another picture with the needle at 100 and smile enquiringly "OK?".

In among all this the other two will have come over and had it explained that the falang doesn't speak Thai, but communication is being established, and they will have wanted to know where I am from, and been told "Amphoe Non Sa-at, mia, baan farang, lang tatanni tembooan" (which is "The township that is High and Clean, with wife in Western-style house on the road that starts by the Police Station").

By this time they usually think that they really should be getting back to work and pulling up some of these cars that are belting past, and can't really spend all day with this new member of the family, even though he is a falang whose childish innocence can be mimiced hilariously back at the station.

So I am sent on my way.

And after about half-an-hour my cheeks stop aching from all that smiling.

The only problem is that next time they pull me up, even though I am not speeding, because they recognise the car and want a bit of a laugh with their new pet. Fortunately I am now retired and no longer have to get to work on time, so it is really no big deal.

[Davidcharles]

NEVER shout at them!

Or Swear at them.......they are sensitive little souls.

Another tip - spread your arms out wide so they can't Handcuff you......works a treat that one.

[ASIC]

I never had any problems with the police. Nice guys. They even collected 200 Baht for a taxi for me, last time I lost my wallet and couldn't get home.

ASIC

[Totster]

I got pulled over once for not wearing a helmet whilst riding my motorbike... the officer was very pleasant ( considering the helmet was in the basket ).. He even looked after my keys until I had paid the fine !

[RDN]

Some people on this forum appear to pride themselves on the fact that they know cops - as if it's some kind of "get out of jail free" card. Well, good luck to you, but nobody should need such contacts in a descent, non-corrupt society.

I am pissed off with the Thai cops right now because I just got mugged by a cop in Bangkok. I feel like writing to the Bangkok post about it, but I don't know if it'll do any good.

I was leaving Bangkok for Phuket (where I have had no problems with the police) and was heading for the toll-way entrance in Petchaburi Road. I was in the right hand lane of Wittayu Road and turned right into Petchaburi Road. I made no driving errors, signalled correctly and still was pulled over by a corrupt b*stard at the entrance of the toll-way. He said I took too long to move into the lane. F*cking lie. He said I should have got into the extreme right hand lane quicker. F*cking rubbish - there were no cars in front or behind me, so I moved over with my indicator on in a deliberate and calm manner. Still the b*stard drew a little map of two lanes on the back of the "ticket" and said I should have moved over quicker. F*ucking rubbish. The problem for me of course was that there were no cars in front or behind - so there were no witnesses. And he could see me looking for the toll-way entrance as I was coming up the road. And, STUPID ME, I actually thought he was waving to me to HELP me. What a f*cking stupid farang I am! There was me thinking, "oh, another friendly cop wants to know how he can help me get to my destination" and then he writes 1.000 baht on a f*cking ticket! I should've known - it was the 20th of the month and his money was all gone. How was the poor little b*stard going to get to the end of the month? "Highway robbery" I believe is the correct terminology. But instead of a masked man on horseback, it's a man in brown standing like he's John Wayne in the middle of the road.

So my Thai girlfiend explained that we were looking for the tollway entrance and moved right when we saw it. He said again I did not move over quick enough. She said "but YOU made us move over by waving your hand". His face dropped - she said it went a little pale, but he pointed back to the two lanes again on the ticket. We both argued with him out of sheer shock and indignation at the lies he was telling. Jesus Christ - I'd just driven 860 Km without any problems and one f*cking bent cop ruins the whole experience. I knew he was lying, he knew he was lying and he knew that I knew he was lying. But what can you do? So I say I don't want the paper and he says 300 baht. So I hand it out to him and he coughs and looks around and puts his arm all the way into my truck window. Then he takes it where no one can see.

Until Thailand gets rid of crooks like him and gets a police force worthy of the name, foreigners - and Thais - will always treat the police like a bunch of crooks, even the good ones (of which there are many in Phuket where I live). Well done Phuket police. <deleted> you, Bangkok.

[Martin]

Are we falling into the trap of generalising from too small a sample of experiences?

I can only say what I have found about our local police by living just down the road from the Amphoe police station, and some of my wife's friends being married to them.

All except one seem to be good sorts who want to do their job well. The odd one out is an old sweat. My wife tells me that the other policemen don't like him. He has the reputation of always being after the tip. If he has to go out on something routine, to one of the villages, he makes out that things can be smoothed over if he is given a tip. Many villagers are nervous of officialdom of any sort and pay up.

He tried it on us once, when the routine enquiry fron Immigration came through, verifying our 'bona fides' for my application for a visa extension 'to support Thai wife'. Thong wouldn't have it. But she didn't make a fuss, or cause anybody to lose face. She just told him that we had been briefed by Nong Khai Immigration Police and she knew what had to be shown to the top man and she'd come on down to the station with the documents in a few minutes.

There she gave all the necessary information to the top man, and 'innocently' said that she had the brought the 200 baht for the fee. He explained that there wasn't any fee (but hid a wince as he realised that he was being told obliquely that one of his underlings had tried it on). And Thong saw a little twinkle in his eye, that she took to mean "Thanks for telling me, in a diplomatic way".

As I have said before, coded signals are not the absolute prerogative of the British, as illustrated in that documentary "Yes, Minister".

[RDN]

Are we falling into the trap of generalising from too small a sample of experiences?

I can only say what I have found about our local police by living just down the road from the Amphoe police station, and some of my wife's friends being married to them.

All except one seem to be good sorts who want to do their job well. The odd one out is an old sweat. My wife tells me that the other policemen don't like him. He has the reputation of always being after the tip. If he has to go out on something routine, to one of the villages, he makes out that things can be smoothed over if he is given a tip. Many villagers are nervous of officialdom of any sort and pay up.

He tried it on us once, when the routine enquiry fron Immigration came through, verifying our 'bona fides' for my application for a visa extension 'to support Thai wife'. Thong wouldn't have it. But she didn't make a fuss, or cause anybody to lose face. She just told him that we had been briefed by Nong Khai Immigration Police and she knew what had to be shown to the top man and she'd come on down to the station with the documents in a few minutes.

There she gave all the necessary information to the top man, and 'innocently' said that she had the brought the 200 baht for the fee. He explained that there wasn't any fee (but hid a wince as he realised that he was being told obliquely that one of his underlings had tried it on). And Thong saw a little twinkle in his eye, that she took to mean "Thanks for telling me, in a diplomatic way".

As I have said before, coded signals are not the absolute prerogative of the British, as illustrated in that documentary "Yes, Minister".

Nice one! If only the shock I got (when I realised this cop wasn't going to help me but wanted to screw me) had not made me go into "argumentative" mode, maybe I could have talked my way out of it. Maybe if I'd said "Khun poot len" - you are joking - he may have given up, but I just couldn't believe the audacity of this public servant acting like a crook. He also looked very small and sad to me - he made me feel sad for him! I wanted to slap him and say "For Buddha's sake, you're a policeman. Grow up and act like one, not like a beggar!".

And the problem is, you never, NEVER, forget the bad ones: THEY become the subject of anecdotes that you tell your friends. Not the story about the nice cop at the top of Phuket Island who chats to you at the road block about how nice it is to live in Phuket. Or the ones at Hayaek Chalong who never stop you because they know you live just up the road. All you can think about is the lying b*stard in brown in Bangkok.

Such is life. Jai yen yen.

Edited July 21, 2004 by RDN

[Boon Mee]

I haven't had any problems with the cops in Thailand - in fact, actually find them more friendly in general than cops elsewhere.

Having said that, I've probably jinxted myself but... BUDDHA WILL PROTECT ME!

[Martin]

Well put, RDN.

When I read your first post I wondered if the Bangkok cop had gone to that spot to shake down a farang, or whether he was on duty there and just opportunistic.

Your 'small and sad' comment makes me think it was the former, and there will be a story behind it that we will never know.

He may have been in such desperate need that, off duty, he put on his uniform and risked his whole career on getting a thousand baht.

I once read a short story about a Jewish tailor who desperately needed to turn his son out well dressed for a vital interview. He was a homeworker and had been issued with the high-quality worsted to sew a Savile Row suit. He had also been issued with top quality serge to line it. He substituted some cheap stuff that he had, and used the serge to make his boy's suit. He was gambling that his skill was so great that no part of the worsted would have to be unpicked at the 'fitting' session and his perfidy reveal itself.

I am also reminded that men whose children and wife were starving would risk being hung to steal and slaughter a sheep.

Things are often not what they seem. Maybe (but only maybe) the little man in brown was a hero, not a villain. Let's leave it to Buddha-----if he was doing good, he will receive good, and if he was doing bad he will receive bad. As you say, "jai yen yen".

Now you've got me wondering whether I have just turned into a buddhist Methodist, or gone further and become a methodist Buddhist, dammit!

[maerim]

if he was doing good, he will receive good, and if he was doing bad he will receive bad.

All I have ever seen these state employees do is take money.

As for you who have married into families where there are police, all I can say is I hope you never have to divorce because who's side do you think they will be on then?

[pnustedt]

I was driving with my wife and pulled over for crossing a solid white line. There was the usual alternatives given to me thru' my wife then the officer said 300 Baht. The wife shouted "what!" jumped out of the car and ran around, grabbed the officer by the lapels and banged him against the car. There was a fair amount of shouting (by her), I wondered what was going to happen next and whether I should help the officer - but she released him strode back, slammed the car door and shouted at me - "Give him 50 Baht - go!"

I did as I was told and the officer gingerly gave me back my licence and checked over his shoulder to ensure that his mates weren't watching.

On another occasion after someone had damaged one of her pick-ups she went to the local cop shop and, when no one offered any help, went round the back of the counter and started shouting at the dozen or so coppers lounging around - telling them no wonder they were so lowly paid as they were such a lazy bunch . . .

[RDN]

I was driving with my wife and pulled over for crossing a solid white line. There was the usual alternatives given to me thru' my wife then the officer said 300 Baht. The wife shouted "what!" jumped out of the car and ran around, grabbed the officer by the lapels and banged him against the car. There was a fair amount of shouting (by her), I wondered what was going to happen next and whether I should help the officer - but she released him strode back, slammed the car door and shouted at me - "Give him 50 Baht - go!"

I did as I was told and the officer gingerly gave me back my licence and checked over his shoulder to ensure that his mates weren't watching.

On another occasion after someone had damaged one of her pick-ups she went to the local cop shop and, when no one offered any help, went round the back of the counter and started shouting at the dozen or so coppers lounging around - telling them no wonder they were so lowly paid as they were such a lazy bunch . . .

What a great girl! My g/f got very, very angry and was shouting at him in Thai for quite a while. I thought she might make the situation worse, so I got her to calm down a bit and that's when I offered the "no receipt" option to him.

Maybe I should've let her go at him some more!!

On a slightly different subject, do Thai cops have unique numbers on their uniforms? I thought afterwards - but obviously far too late - that I should've taken his number, but I don't know if they have them here. All I have is the date and time: Petchaburi Road toll-way entrance, 20th July, 1 pm. Any goods cops reading this might check up who was on duty then....