Settled on 20K With My Lovely Bubble-Tea Gal – Fair Deal or Digging a Deeper Hole?

[Blueman1]

12 minutes ago, ignore it said:

You did get on demand nookie right?

 

You ought to think of just giving her 600-700 a shag.

 

Paying up front not advised, pay at the end of the month.

You ought to think of just giving her 600-700 a shag.....WoW !! That's CHEAP !!

[edwardflory]

""I'm bedazzled"' why you would spend that kind of cash on a casual girlfriend.

 

On my 1st trip to BKK TH, I found a lady on a dating apk. She wanted me to pay transportation costs to meet me since she would travel to BKK...short story......480bt bus cost for the weekend visits.

 

Dating apk again.  Met another and she asked for transportation costs from BKK, I'm in Pattaya 500bt, lasted 2 years of weekend trips.

 

Cutting to the chase.  Met the ( NOW ) wife ( I'm in Pattaya ) she's working in a factory in BKK making 8 to 12,000bt a month. I moved to BKK within 6 month to her 'condo'.  Paid all the bills including Thai 'condo' mortgage ( 1800bt monthly ) total expenses average 18 to 20,000bt +/- monthly - she quit her job 6 months later. We were in condo hell and decided to move to quieter area.

 

Hello KORAT

I give her a allowance of 5,000bt ( I gave, she didn't ask ) monthly for savings and etc,  we still  keep the condo - 1800bt monthly. We moved to a 2BR house.

For my cash outlay ( around 30,000 +/-  monthly now- ALL EXPENSES ) I get:

1) A great looking woman at 54 years of age I'm 79,

2) a $hix load of relatives, ( who do NOT leach )

3) 2 BR HOUSE and yard with 3 trees, in a gated community.

4) 'Condo' to stay when we travel often to BKK,

5) 24/7 housekeeper,

6) 3 cooked meals a day,

7) Laundry service,

😎 Foot massage nightly.

9) A "warm" bed when wanted.

10) my back washed in shower 😆

11) and etc.

 

You """pay""" 20,000 and get what???

 

BONUS: Immigration Office is 15 minutes from my front door

 

 

 

 

[tomazbodner]

Let me tell you a joke.

 

An old guy asks a young lady:"Would you sleep with an ugly old man for a million dollars?"

"In an instant!" answers the girl.

"OK, what about for 10 dollars?"

"How dare you ask me that? What kind of a woman do you think I am?!" the girl gets all excited...

"We already established that. Now we're negotiating the price..."

[Ralf001]

3 minutes ago, edwardflory said:

Thai 'condo' mortgage 1800bt monthly 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1800 a month mortgage is cheap.... really really crap condo or paying off over 99yrs ?

[JensenZ]

20 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Should have paid 10kbht/month plus 1kbht tip every time you bang her.

Consider it performance related pay .........

And it'll stop her avoiding sex, which is a general problem for many men in LTRs.

LOL! No Way, I'd be paying too much.

 

 

[edwardflory]

"""1800 a month mortgage is cheap.... really really crap condo or paying off over 99yrs ?"""

 

Its a Thai condo, 1 large room, separate small rooms kitchen and toilet .  20 year mortgage in year 18.

12 condos' to a floor, 5 floors, 8 building complex, govt financed housing ( and I think possibly  govt built )

[JensenZ]

2 minutes ago, Ralf001 said:

 

1800 a month mortgage is cheap.... really really crap condo or paying off over 99yrs ?

My GF's mortgage was 2200 for 5 years, but it recently went up to 3400, and she will refinance. The condo has 2 bedrooms and is quite livable; in fact, I'm living in it at the moment. I had to do a bit of renovation and buy some new appliances and furniture.

 

I don't know if it's an advantage or a disadvantage, but I never see tourists or foreigners in this area, and it's only 2km from the beach and 5km from Central Pattaya. It's quite a change for me as I lived in the heart of the tourist area in Pattaya for nearly 20 years.

 

There is no support - she has no family to support, and she doesn't have children, and she works full time, and even owns a car. Come on, guys, you should be smart enough to know if a girl is really into you or she's playing you for cash... unless you're a newbie. The good ones don't just fall into your lap - it takes a big effort to find what you're looking for if you know what you're looking for... and you could spend (I call it invest) quite a bit of money along the way too, but it can be fun if you have the right attitude.

 

Tip for the day: You won't find them in beer bars, gogo bars, or in massage shops, and even on the dating apps, a large percentage are freelancers and work in bars.

 

Tip #2: I go for non-English speakers who don't have experience with other foreign men. 

[ChrisKC]

21 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

So, I wanted to post a quick follow-up here rather than reply to my original thread (which has kind of taken on a life of its own).

 

I ended up having a proper talk with my girl about the money issue. I brought up the family support thing and asked where the pressure was really coming from. She got a bit emotional and said her parents have been asking questions, especially about me being older and not meaningfully contributing anything to her life. I guess in their eyes the situation makes me look unserious, uncaring or even disrespectful.

 

We talked it through and settled on something a bit lower at 20,000 baht a month. I’ll explain in a minute why I even pushed for less, when in fact the amount itself really isn't the issue for me. But she seems happy with this figure, her family is apparently fine with it, and honestly, it’s not a big burden for me financially. I would’ve gone for 30K if that’s what it will take, and if it gives her some peace of mind, I figure that's worth something in itself.

 

That said, I’d be lying if I said there isn’t a small part of me wondering if the pressure really is from the family, or if she’s just framing it that way to make the request sound more acceptable. That’s why I attempted to nudge the amount down a bit, I wanted to test the waters, see how she’d respond to a lesser figure, and try to suss out if I'm just getting fully rinsed here. 

 

She’s always been affectionate and sweet, and I want to believe it’s all sincere, but this is Thailand after all. Part of me can’t help but wonder if I’m slowly sliding into a situation where I’m paying for affection, but whether I really am or not remains the big question. Maybe I’m just overthinking. Maybe it’s totally genuine. And I'd feel like a complete knob if I was making any wrong assumptions about her. But the thought still creeps in now and then.

 

Does agreeing to this kind of setup mean I’ve already lost my sensibilities and fallen straight down into the rabbit hole? Or is this just part of the deal when you’re a foreigner dating someone younger with a low salary and family obligations? Like I said, I’m fine with the money, I just don’t want to end up being a fool who thought he had something meaningful, when really, maybe I'm just another foreign sponsor in a Thai romance that comes with a fixed monthly fee. 

 

Or maybe I should just give her the full 30,000 baht if it simply makes everyone happy. After all, it's not really that much money these days, is it?

If it were me, and I really felt something resembling love, then I would definitely want to visit her family home and make my own observations! The amount of money is irrelevant to the integrity of the situation!

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, ChrisKC said:

If it were me, and I really felt something resembling love, then I would definitely want to visit her family home and make my own observations! The amount of money is irrelevant to the integrity of the situation!

Visiting their family home has no possible benefit to any man.

[ChrisKC]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

Visiting their family home has no possible benefit to any man.

 

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Visiting their family home has no possible benefit to any man.

Well, I am not just ANY man! My suggestion isn't for benefit but for better understanding.

[Ralf001]

34 minutes ago, edwardflory said:

"""1800 a month mortgage is cheap.... really really crap condo or paying off over 99yrs ?"""

 

Its a Thai condo, 1 large room, separate small rooms kitchen and toilet .  20 year mortgage in year 18.

12 condos' to a floor, 5 floors, 8 building complex, govt financed housing ( and I think possibly  govt built )

 

Ohh, yeah.

 

falls into the really really crap part.

[cheerz]

You must have rocks in your head, but it's  your money your life, don't bitch when it goes up in flames as most do

[Atlantic Cod]

The moral of this story is,

Never tell anyone about your personal activities..

Especially the expat community,

[JensenZ]

25 minutes ago, ChrisKC said:

 

Well, I am not just ANY man! My suggestion isn't for benefit but for better understanding.

I agree that if you're serious about a girl, you must visit her family sooner or later, especially if you're supporting her and/or them.

[JakeC]

Quote

Ohh, yeah.

 

falls into the really really crap part.

 

Reprehensible. Are there no lows to which you will not sink?

[JensenZ]

11 minutes ago, Ralf001 said:

 

Ohh, yeah.

 

falls into the really really crap part.

Give it a break with your "crap" announcements. It's all relative. Your best condo would be a dump to other people. It's insulting to people with less money.

[edwardflory]

"""falls into the really really crap part"""

 

To a single or even a  married Thai, making under 12,000bt a month, it was a godsend to be able to own ( via a mortgage of 1800bt monthly - that was BIG MONEY 18 years ago ) a place to call their own.

[keysersoze276]

On 5/26/2025 at 2:48 PM, 123Stodg said:

Does agreeing to this kind of setup mean I’ve already lost my sensibilities and fallen straight down into the rabbit hole?

Yes, dude.  Some fall for this and IMO it’s desperate and pathetic and makes one look ridiculous, no offense.  The family is “fine” with it, not grateful?  They might be laughing at you for paying it.  
I’m sure I’ll get a lot of downvotes from the guys that do this too, but this is just my opinion on it, since that’s what you are asking for.  I think it shows weakness and a lack of self respect.  Others will disagree, but I would never do that, even it it was less than 1% of my earnings. The whole agreement to pay a fixed amount regularly turns my stomach.  It’s not different than prostitution. 
 

Anyway. Thanks for the update and best of luck. 

[happydreamer]

Since moving from the West to Thailand one thing has become very obvious to me.  There's great importance placed on whether or not her life gets better being with you.  It's as simple as that.  If she's making 15K a month then her means of sending money to her family are quite minimal.    In her eyes and her parents eyes, thats her obligation and most likely the reason they had children...to help support them in their old age.

So if she's dating a guy who can help her to do her thing and make herself look better in her family's eyes then ya, she's gonna ask you for help.  They all ask for help in one way or another.  Women here are very different than women in the west.  Women here want to be taken care of, whether it's a vacation, an allowance, a car, a home, or an iPhone...they want some token of affection from the guy they are giving their time to.  Otherwise, what's the point of dating you?  The women here don't give a sh!t how cool you are or how great you are at badminton, how much of a guitar pro you are unless you have the credentials and finances to back it.

I paid for my wife's (gf at the time) Masters Degree and post-graduate studies for which she enrolled in the US and did remotely.  Why, because it was a solid ask for help that would not only help her improve her life but help her improve her family's life, and ultimately help her be better in our relationship.  Men provide value in their relationships...whether it's money, security, a family or all of these.  If it's worth it to you then so be it.  Be happy about it and dont look for validation here.  

Godspeed bro

[ignore it]

5 hours ago, Blueman1 said:

You ought to think of just giving her 600-700 a shag.....WoW !! That's CHEAP !!

Shag a day.  Do the math

[Xonax]

If we are talking about a live-in maid, who gives you sexual benefits, in my opinion 20,000 is more than fair.

[JakeC]

Quote

Since moving from the West to Thailand one thing has become very obvious to me.  There's great importance placed on whether or not her life gets better being with you.  It's as simple as that.  If she's making 15K a month then her means of sending money to her family are quite minimal.    In her eyes and her parents eyes, thats her obligation and most likely the reason they had children...to help support them in their old age.

So if she's dating a guy who can help her to do her thing and make herself look better in her family's eyes then ya, she's gonna ask you for help.  They all ask for help in one way or another.  Women here are very different than women in the west.  Women here want to be taken care of, whether it's a vacation, an allowance, a car, a home, or an iPhone...they want some token of affection from the guy they are giving their time to.  Otherwise, what's the point of dating you?  The women here don't give a sh!t how cool you are or how great you are at badminton, how much of a guitar pro you are unless you have the credentials and finances to back it.

I paid for my wife's (gf at the time) Masters Degree and post-graduate studies for which she enrolled in the US and did remotely.  Why, because it was a solid ask for help that would not only help her improve her life but help her improve her family's life, and ultimately help her be better in our relationship.  Men provide value in their relationships...whether it's money, security, a family or all of these.  If it's worth it to you then so be it.  Be happy about it and dont look for validation here.  

Godspeed bro

 

Not quite the same. There was a goal. a purpose for both of you.  Not just handing over money in exchange for her companionship.