Don't chase happiness

[Harrisfan]

2 hours ago, Hummin said:

In most cases, by discipline you are prepared for obstacles, while most who do not have discipline are not

Daily habits leds to fun later on. 

[BarraMarra]

Post Post get them figures up deadline tomorrow.

[Harrisfan]

3 minutes ago, BarraMarra said:

Post Post get them figures up deadline tomorrow.

Great effort you put in. 8 words on happiness research. Amazing effort after 2 Changs and a dried out burger.

[Cameroni]

17 minutes ago, Will B Good said:

incel stuff.

 

A very poor insult, all men are involuntary celibates at some point. They accept this with grace and do not force their sexual urge, involuntary celibacy is what unites men. Even the best looking ones experience it.

[DezLez]

27 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

Great effort you put in. 8 words on happiness research. Amazing effort after 2 Changs and a dried out burger.

I assume that it would that be your "2 Changs and a dried out burger" you are referring to as you cannot know what anyone else has just had to eat and drink!

[TheTightArseTraveller]

20 hours ago, Harrisfan said:

They say if you chase happiness it runs away like a dog. Let it come to you but how?

 

Some people have told me they can be happy anywhere. Others can't they need specific surroundings. 

 

Where in the mind is happiness generated?

I feel, until the penny drops, chasing happiness just means that you are never content with what you have.  You never stop to smell the roses.

I apologise for the length of this reply, but its hard to shorten in without losing the context.

 

I am the absolute ferang cliché.  I was married, high flying corporate job, beautiful kids, new (way too big) house, new cars... Continuously struggling to pay all our bills even though I earnt more money than anyone I knew.

My western wife was NEVER satisfied, no matter what we got...She always chased more. At 38 I had the mini nervous break down and left the wife and life I knew was killing me. 

No-one saw it coming and all thought I had gone mad.  The truth is, I had just begun my new journey.

 

Post divorce and now cleaned out broke, I had a few girlfriends but never felt safe to settle down.

 

I came to Thailand...Hit on a waitress for some holiday fun and the cliché begins.

 

We hung out next time I cam back and I came to visit her home in a remote Buriram village where I sit writing this.  

 

The moment I saw the love, the kids playing in the street and running around screaming, the animals, but most of all, how happy they were with so little, I knew my life had to change.

 

I remember telling my hot waitress girl friend that if she wanted a rich ferang, Im sorry but keep looking...Im broke.

 

She worked out pretty quick I wasnt joking... 

 

We are together to this day, 7 years married, and I still have faaark all, but still enjoy the life we have here.

 

We don't need anything but our health and each other.  Im seriously content and enjoy my walk through the rice fields every day, bringing in the buffalo....

 

I do have a self started business I created with a view to working remotely, that now generates enough for me to spend most of my time here rather than in Australia, where I look around at all the people on the treadmill I was on, whose teenage daughters all need therapy and wives are all wearing designer stuff they cant afford and I cant wait to be back here walking the buffalo in with my waitress wife.

 

So, to answer your question, you CANNOT create happiness...It finds you.  You DO have to be able and ready to receive it though.

 

Thats my two cents.

 

 

[Harrisfan]

10 minutes ago, TheTightArseTraveller said:

I feel, until the penny drops, chasing happiness just means that you are never content with what you have.  You never stop to smell the roses.

I apologise for the length of this reply, but its hard to shorten in without losing the context.

 

I am the absolute ferang cliché.  I was married, high flying corporate job, beautiful kids, new (way too big) house, new cars... Continuously struggling to pay all our bills even though I earnt more money than anyone I knew.

My western wife was NEVER satisfied, no matter what we got...She always chased more. At 38 I had the mini nervous break down and left the wife and life I knew was killing me. 

No-one saw it coming and all thought I had gone mad.  The truth is, I had just begun my new journey.

 

Post divorce and now cleaned out broke, I had a few girlfriends but never felt safe to settle down.

 

I came to Thailand...Hit on a waitress for some holiday fun and the cliché begins.

 

We hung out next time I cam back and I came to visit her home in a remote Buriram village where I sit writing this.  

 

The moment I saw the love, the kids playing in the street and running around screaming, the animals, but most of all, how happy they were with so little, I knew my life had to change.

 

I remember telling my hot waitress girl friend that if she wanted a rich ferang, Im sorry but keep looking...Im broke.

 

She worked out pretty quick I wasnt joking... 

 

We are together to this day, 7 years married, and I still have faaark all, but still enjoy the life we have here.

 

We don't need anything but our health and each other.  Im seriously content and enjoy my walk through the rice fields every day, bringing in the buffalo....

 

I do have a self started business I created with a view to working remotely, that now generates enough for me to spend most of my time here rather than in Australia, where I look around at all the people on the treadmill I was on, whose teenage daughters all need therapy and wives are all wearing designer stuff they cant afford and I cant wait to be back here walking the buffalo in with my waitress wife.

 

So, to answer your question, you CANNOT create happiness...It finds you.  You DO have to be able and ready to receive it though.

 

Thats my two cents.

 

 

What business is it if i may

[scubascuba3]

15 minutes ago, TheTightArseTraveller said:

I feel, until the penny drops, chasing happiness just means that you are never content with what you have.  You never stop to smell the roses.

I apologise for the length of this reply, but its hard to shorten in without losing the context.

 

I am the absolute ferang cliché.  I was married, high flying corporate job, beautiful kids, new (way too big) house, new cars... Continuously struggling to pay all our bills even though I earnt more money than anyone I knew.

My western wife was NEVER satisfied, no matter what we got...She always chased more. At 38 I had the mini nervous break down and left the wife and life I knew was killing me. 

No-one saw it coming and all thought I had gone mad.  The truth is, I had just begun my new journey.

 

Post divorce and now cleaned out broke, I had a few girlfriends but never felt safe to settle down.

 

I came to Thailand...Hit on a waitress for some holiday fun and the cliché begins.

 

We hung out next time I cam back and I came to visit her home in a remote Buriram village where I sit writing this.  

 

The moment I saw the love, the kids playing in the street and running around screaming, the animals, but most of all, how happy they were with so little, I knew my life had to change.

 

I remember telling my hot waitress girl friend that if she wanted a rich ferang, Im sorry but keep looking...Im broke.

 

She worked out pretty quick I wasnt joking... 

 

We are together to this day, 7 years married, and I still have faaark all, but still enjoy the life we have here.

 

We don't need anything but our health and each other.  Im seriously content and enjoy my walk through the rice fields every day, bringing in the buffalo....

 

I do have a self started business I created with a view to working remotely, that now generates enough for me to spend most of my time here rather than in Australia, where I look around at all the people on the treadmill I was on, whose teenage daughters all need therapy and wives are all wearing designer stuff they cant afford and I cant wait to be back here walking the buffalo in with my waitress wife.

 

So, to answer your question, you CANNOT create happiness...It finds you.  You DO have to be able and ready to receive it though.

 

Thats my two cents.

 

 

Good story, but you need money to live on, if you have enough that's great

[TheTightArseTraveller]

4 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

What business is it if i may

I have a real estate photography company.  I have staff in Australia and can work remotely without a glitch....until theres a glitch.... Then its a pain in the arse, but thats rare enough to make it worth while

[TheTightArseTraveller]

4 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

Good story, but you need money to live on, if you have enough that's great

I will reply to your smart arse reply (Good story) even though you started that way....

I do agree you need SOME money, but waaaaay less than you think.  The west is educated to chase and chase so you become a good little tax payer all your life.

The OP was about 'happiness'.  You dont need money for that.  You need health and family. Again, all IN MY HUMBLE OPINION

[Harrisfan]

25 minutes ago, TheTightArseTraveller said:

I have a real estate photography company.  I have staff in Australia and can work remotely without a glitch....until theres a glitch.... Then its a pain in the arse, but thats rare enough to make it worth while

Thanks for your honesty. 

[short-Timer]

7 hours ago, Harrisfan said:

Yes lots of haters here. I see these types in Central.

 

You start a topic about happiness, yet all you ever do is ramble on about hate and haters like it’s your personal obsession, Susan. Funny how it only ever seems to show up in your own posts, never anyone else’s. Almost like the only place all that hate actually exists is staring back at you in the mirror. And happiness? That clearly does not exist anywhere within your own orbit.

[Cameroni]

1 hour ago, TheTightArseTraveller said:

I feel, until the penny drops, chasing happiness just means that you are never content with what you have.  You never stop to smell the roses.

I apologise for the length of this reply, but its hard to shorten in without losing the context.

 

I am the absolute ferang cliché.  I was married, high flying corporate job, beautiful kids, new (way too big) house, new cars... Continuously struggling to pay all our bills even though I earnt more money than anyone I knew.

My western wife was NEVER satisfied, no matter what we got...She always chased more. At 38 I had the mini nervous break down and left the wife and life I knew was killing me. 

No-one saw it coming and all thought I had gone mad.  The truth is, I had just begun my new journey.

 

Post divorce and now cleaned out broke, I had a few girlfriends but never felt safe to settle down.

 

I came to Thailand...Hit on a waitress for some holiday fun and the cliché begins.

 

We hung out next time I cam back and I came to visit her home in a remote Buriram village where I sit writing this.  

 

The moment I saw the love, the kids playing in the street and running around screaming, the animals, but most of all, how happy they were with so little, I knew my life had to change.

 

I remember telling my hot waitress girl friend that if she wanted a rich ferang, Im sorry but keep looking...Im broke.

 

She worked out pretty quick I wasnt joking... 

 

We are together to this day, 7 years married, and I still have faaark all, but still enjoy the life we have here.

 

We don't need anything but our health and each other.  Im seriously content and enjoy my walk through the rice fields every day, bringing in the buffalo....

 

I do have a self started business I created with a view to working remotely, that now generates enough for me to spend most of my time here rather than in Australia, where I look around at all the people on the treadmill I was on, whose teenage daughters all need therapy and wives are all wearing designer stuff they cant afford and I cant wait to be back here walking the buffalo in with my waitress wife.

 

So, to answer your question, you CANNOT create happiness...It finds you.  You DO have to be able and ready to receive it though.

 

Thats my two cents.

 

 

 

I thinks this is a good way to live. There is a thing called hedonistic adaptation. If you won the lottery, the happiness will wear off after some time, just as if you break your leg, the misery will ear off in due course.  The peaks in happiness which hedonism, say, food, sex or drugs, gives you, are very fleeting. However, a modest life will reqauire modest expectations, which is the real key to happiness.

[Harrisfan]

3 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

I thinks this is a good way to live. There is a thing called hedonistic adaptation. If you won the lottery, the happiness will wear off after some time, just as if you break your leg, the misery will ear off in due course.  The peaks in happiness which hedonism, say, food, sex or drugs, gives you, are very fleeting. However, a modest life will reqauire modest expectations, which is the real key to happiness.

Mirroring the locals is a technique Chris Voss uses in negotiation.

[Cameroni]

26 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

Mirroring the locals is a technique Chris Voss uses in negotiation.

 

My problem with lowering expectations, and I did try this and live in a Zen monastery for a while, it's incredibly hard. I'm very attached to my hedonist pleasures. Rationally  I understand that letting them go would be sensible, but I'm just too attached to them.

[Harrisfan]

1 minute ago, Cameroni said:

 

My problem with lowering expectations, and I did try this and live in a Zen monastery for a while, it's incredibly hard. I'm very attached to my hedonist pleasures. Rationally  I understand that letting them go would be sensible, but I'm just too attached to them.

Yes it is. 

[Cameroni]

1 minute ago, Harrisfan said:

Yes it is. 

 

The worst, after you abstain for a week or two, hedonist pleasure gets even better.

[Harrisfan]

2 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

The worst, after you abstain for a week or two, hedonist pleasure gets even better.

Khao Soi and chocolate for me.

[Celsius]

1 hour ago, Cameroni said:

 

I thinks this is a good way to live. There is a thing called hedonistic adaptation. If you won the lottery, the happiness will wear off after some time, just as if you break your leg, the misery will ear off in due course.  The peaks in happiness which hedonism, say, food, sex or drugs, gives you, are very fleeting. However, a modest life will reqauire modest expectations, which is the real key to happiness.

 

Issan can be very materialistic. Those idyllic images of kids chasing chickens often hide self-serving, money-focused people. Folks adapt, but greed and envy seem even stronger in these remote areas, where status comparison matters more than in the West.

 

He's probably right tho. He's come to believe that buffaloes represent a better way of life than civilization. I also convinced myself many things both in Thailand and here in Canada.

 

Imagine if women didn't have skin. Would you still have sex with them looking at their internal organs or will that feeling of disgust also wear off over time?

 

So many questions.

[Negita43]

23 hours ago, Harrisfan said:

They say if you chase happiness it runs away like a dog

I think you are barking up the wrong tree.🐶

[Harrisfan]

16 minutes ago, Celsius said:

 

Issan can be very materialistic. Those idyllic images of kids chasing chickens often hide self-serving, money-focused people. Folks adapt, but greed and envy seem even stronger in these remote areas, where status comparison matters more than in the West.

 

He's probably right tho. He's come to believe that buffaloes represent a better way of life than civilization. I also convinced myself many things both in Thailand and here in Canada.

 

Imagine if women didn't have skin. Would you still have sex with them looking at their internal organs or will that feeling of disgust also wear off over time?

 

So many questions.

I find it boring outside the biggest cities. 

[save the frogs]

<>

 

 

[Hummin]

4 hours ago, TheTightArseTraveller said:

I feel, until the penny drops, chasing happiness just means that you are never content with what you have.  You never stop to smell the roses.

I apologise for the length of this reply, but its hard to shorten in without losing the context.

 

I am the absolute ferang cliché.  I was married, high flying corporate job, beautiful kids, new (way too big) house, new cars... Continuously struggling to pay all our bills even though I earnt more money than anyone I knew.

My western wife was NEVER satisfied, no matter what we got...She always chased more. At 38 I had the mini nervous break down and left the wife and life I knew was killing me. 

No-one saw it coming and all thought I had gone mad.  The truth is, I had just begun my new journey.

 

Post divorce and now cleaned out broke, I had a few girlfriends but never felt safe to settle down.

 

I came to Thailand...Hit on a waitress for some holiday fun and the cliché begins.

 

We hung out next time I cam back and I came to visit her home in a remote Buriram village where I sit writing this.  

 

The moment I saw the love, the kids playing in the street and running around screaming, the animals, but most of all, how happy they were with so little, I knew my life had to change.

 

I remember telling my hot waitress girl friend that if she wanted a rich ferang, Im sorry but keep looking...Im broke.

 

She worked out pretty quick I wasnt joking... 

 

We are together to this day, 7 years married, and I still have faaark all, but still enjoy the life we have here.

 

We don't need anything but our health and each other.  Im seriously content and enjoy my walk through the rice fields every day, bringing in the buffalo....

 

I do have a self started business I created with a view to working remotely, that now generates enough for me to spend most of my time here rather than in Australia, where I look around at all the people on the treadmill I was on, whose teenage daughters all need therapy and wives are all wearing designer stuff they cant afford and I cant wait to be back here walking the buffalo in with my waitress wife.

 

So, to answer your question, you CANNOT create happiness...It finds you.  You DO have to be able and ready to receive it though.

 

Thats my two cents.

 

 

You still only half way, and such a nice little break is necessary, still only half way. 

 

To many forget one day the future arrives, and who knows what future brings. To many waste their best years chasing something that doesn't exist as well. 

 

The question still is, what is true happiness? Is it a moment bliss, or is knowing you do your best to prepare for future? 

 

I do not say fancy car, fancy house, fancy wife and fancy life is happiness, I say being all set and safe for future might be on part of it

[Cameroni]

1 hour ago, Celsius said:

 

Issan can be very materialistic. Those idyllic images of kids chasing chickens often hide self-serving, money-focused people. Folks adapt, but greed and envy seem even stronger in these remote areas, where status comparison matters more than in the West.

 

He's probably right tho. He's come to believe that buffaloes represent a better way of life than civilization. I also convinced myself many things both in Thailand and here in Canada.

 

Imagine if women didn't have skin. Would you still have sex with them looking at their internal organs or will that feeling of disgust also wear off over time?

 

So many questions.

 

Maybe the best post all day.

 

I think his advantage is that he has managed to adjust his expectations radically.

[Cameroni]

2 minutes ago, Hummin said:

The question still is, what is true happiness? Is it a moment bliss, or is knowing you do your best to prepare for future? 

 

Bliss does exist, and you can get it via MDMA, sex, even a great meal  or hanging with cool people, but those are peaks of happiness. Just peaks.

 

What if we are always happy, or almost always? And those bliss moments are just temporary peaks. What if extra-ordinary happiness is neither real nor desirable, ie not real in the sense of very fleeting.

 

There is a limit in how much of these happiness peaks you can experience. You can only eat so much, shed so much dopamine. So this is always limited. I think bliss is a false hope

[Hummin]

1 hour ago, Celsius said:

 

Issan can be very materialistic. Those idyllic images of kids chasing chickens often hide self-serving, money-focused people. Folks adapt, but greed and envy seem even stronger in these remote areas, where status comparison matters more than in the West.

 

He's probably right tho. He's come to believe that buffaloes represent a better way of life than civilization. I also convinced myself many things both in Thailand and here in Canada.

 

Imagine if women didn't have skin. Would you still have sex with them looking at their internal organs or will that feeling of disgust also wear off over time?

 

So many questions.

Kind of morbid reflection if you ask me.

 

People you meet and find world around, have the same qualities and are proportionally spread out as you find everywhere else. Some place better than otter, and some places worse.

 

I have very different experiences than many here when it comes to what type of people they experienced, and I think we might have different characters who attract different people.

 

Some people are an magnet to trouble, and if they do not find trouble themselves, trouble finds them.

[Hummin]

4 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

Bliss does exist, and you can get it via MDMA, sex, even a great meal  or hanging with cool people, but those are peaks of happiness. Just peaks.

 

What if we are always happy, or almost always? And those bliss moments are just temporary peaks. What if extra-ordinary happiness is neither real nor desirable, ie not real in the sense of very fleeting.

 

There is a limit in how much of these happiness peaks you can experience. You can only eat so much, shed so much dopamine. So this is always limited. I think bliss is a false hope

I spent half a life chasing it with my life on the stake, I know what addiction is when it comes to adrenalin, and excitement, and also how to learn how appreciate the small things again. 

 

I have been there, and now I feel satisfied and happy with myself. Took awhile, but happiness exists especially when you lost something essential valuable and had to restart again.

[Harrisfan]

3 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

Bliss does exist, and you can get it via MDMA, sex, even a great meal  or hanging with cool people, but those are peaks of happiness. Just peaks.

 

What if we are always happy, or almost always? And those bliss moments are just temporary peaks. What if extra-ordinary happiness is neither real nor desirable, ie not real in the sense of very fleeting.

 

There is a limit in how much of these happiness peaks you can experience. You can only eat so much, shed so much dopamine. So this is always limited. I think bliss is a false hope

What if you enjoy pain and bliss? 

 

Mind over matter: Some individuals suggest focusing on the mental aspect of pain. For example, thinking of pain as a good thing that can strengthen your body and mind. This perspective can help you develop a mindset where you are more accepting of pain.

Endorphins: The body produces endorphins, which are natural painkillers. These can help you feel better and potentially enjoy the pain to some extent. Focusing on the tingling sensation that follows pain can help you associate it with the release of endorphins.

[Cameroni]

32 minutes ago, Hummin said:

I spent half a life chasing it with my life on the stake, I know what addiction is when it comes to adrenalin, and excitement, and also how to learn how appreciate the small things again. 

 

I have been there, and now I feel satisfied and happy with myself. Took awhile, but happiness exists especially when you lost something essential valuable and had to restart again.

 

Well, these adrenaline or dopamine peaks you can get with extreme sports, sex, drugs or other stimuli are always going to be limited. You only have so much adreanline, dopamine, your stomach is only so big. Indeed our system can only take so much, some musicians have tried to over indulge in drugs, and paid the ultimate price.

 

Since we are not designed for permanent peaks of happiness, indeed, if we seek them out we may die, these ultra hedonist pursuits of pleasure are bound to never be fully satisfied. Particularly since you need ever increasing larger doses of stimuli to get the same effect.

 

So how come you feel so happiy with yourself now? Because you lsot a lot and had to restart and you feel you've overcome that obstacle?

[Cameroni]

34 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

What if you enjoy pain and bliss? 

 

Mind over matter: Some individuals suggest focusing on the mental aspect of pain. For example, thinking of pain as a good thing that can strengthen your body and mind. This perspective can help you develop a mindset where you are more accepting of pain.

Endorphins: The body produces endorphins, which are natural painkillers. These can help you feel better and potentially enjoy the pain to some extent. Focusing on the tingling sensation that follows pain can help you associate it with the release of endorphins.

 

The pain pleasure principle is ultimately very interesting because pleasure is of course stimuli, say a skilled masseuse, but again you can overdo it, and then it becomes pain. Just a matter of dosage. Ultimately pain and pleasure are the same thing, stimuli.