2 Jokes

[Jamesyboi]

Brian woke up one morning immensely aroused so he turned over to his wife's side of the bed.

His wife, Lisa, had already awakened though, and she was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen.

Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, Brian called his little boy into the room and asked him to

"take this note to your beautiful Mummy."

The note read:

The Tent Pole Is Up,

The Canvas Is Spread,

To hel_l With Breakfast,

Come Back To Bed.

Lisa, grinning, answered the note and then asked her son to "take this to your silly daddy."

The note read:

Take The Tent Pole Down,

Put The Canvas Away,

The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage,

No Circus Today.

Brian read the note and quickly scribbled a reply.

Then, he asked his son to take it back to "the lady in the kitchen."

The note read:

The Tent Pole's Still Up,

And The Canvas Still Spread,

So Drop What You're Doing,

And Come Give Me Some Head.

Laughing, Lisa answered the note and then asked her son to take this to "the poor dude upstairs."

The note read:

I'm Sure That Your Pole's

The Best In The Land.

But I'm Busy Right Now,

Do It By Hand !

A newly married couple returned to their house after being on honeymoon.

"Care to go upstairs and have a bop?" the husband asked.

"Shhhh!" said the bride "All the neighbours will know what we're about to do.

These walls are paper thin. In the future, we'll have to ask each other in

code. For example, how about asking 'Have you left the washing machine door

open' instead?

So the following night, the husband asks, "I don't suppose you left the

washing machine door open, did you?"

"No, I definitely shut it" replied the wife who rolled over and fell asleep.

When she woke up however, she was feeling a little amorous herself and she

nudged her husband and said, "I think I did leave the washing machine door open

after all. Would you like to do some washing?"

"No thanks" said the husband. "It was only a small load so I did it by hand."