pumpuiman Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 After reading some lovely poetry in another thread, I thought it might be fun to see if we have any other poets here. To keep it simple....lets try Haiku...or Thaiku some may say. Remember the rules.....3 lines...5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables Lets keep it Thai related if possible......but anything goes Here's one to get it started..... sweat beads on my brow my eyes begin to water fingers in som tum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratchabuild Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 After reading some lovely poetry in another thread, I thought it might be fun to see if we have any other poets here.To keep it simple....lets try Haiku...or Thaiku some may say. Remember the rules.....3 lines...5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables Lets keep it Thai related if possible......but anything goes Here's one to get it started..... sweat beads on my brow my eyes begin to water fingers in som tum I enjoyed your example and tried and found it incredibly hard. Counting syllables is not easy but here is my attempt to keep the ball rolling Thai girl so young please warm my cold dead heart cheaply Let me live my lie Hope I have not broken any of the rules of the form perhaps if I have you could explain them further. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZombieQueen Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 (edited) Sitting young and pretty, Wearing Hello Kitty, Promised new lands and gold, Her heart begins to unfold Ooops. I did four lines instead.... Sorry? Edited September 2, 2007 by ZombieQueen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suegha Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Sitting young and pretty,Wearing Hello Kitty, Promised new lands and gold, Her heart begins to unfold Ooops. I did four lines instead.... Sorry? Yes it failed as a haiku, lines and syllables, but it's very pretty! Oh, and it's not necessary to rhyme. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suegha Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Thailand, land of smiles The sights, sounds, smells, heat and dust Real people, real smiles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adjan jb Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 lets try Haiku...Remember the rules.....3 lines...5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables Do these rules apply to Haiku or Tanka ? I can't remember. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adjan jb Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 lets try Haiku...Remember the rules.....3 lines...5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables Do these rules apply to Haiku or Tanka ? I can't remember. It seems you're right. Here are some definitions: In traditional Japanese, the haiku was often written in one long string, from top to bottom, using 17 onji (sound-symbols), the shortest unit of meaning. These onji were usually divided into 3 sections, with the middle one being slightly longer than the others; a pause at the end of the first or second section often divided the haiku into two thoughts or images which contrasted or combined to make a striking perception, usually involving nature. Some call this the Haiku Moment. Others refer to this moment of revelation shared by poet and reader as the ahness of the haiku. Early translators, assuming that onji equaled syllables in our language (they do not), decided the English equivalent should be 3 lines containing 5-7-5 syllables respectively. Many poets still look for haiku in that pattern, though occasionally today’s verses may have from 1 to 5 lines and a varying number of syllables. Not all classical Japanese haiku had 17 onji, let alone 17 “syllables,” so if we insist on that pattern, it is out of habit, not out of respect for the original. A more-reliable standard for haiku in English is a verse of 10-15 syllables in 3 lines having 2-3-2 beats respectively. If your verse falls outside those parameters, it needs other strengths to compensate. By all means, abide by the rules of the contest or editor you are writing for. If you know the preferences of the judge, so much the better. dangling from the impatiens bloom caterpillar A haiku usually • Is brief—no more than 17 syllables arranged in 3 lines—but reads smoothly (avoids the “telegram” effect) • Pictures an experience of awe or sudden insight • Refers to nature (other than human) • Contains one seasonal reference—avoids redundancy • Uses strong sensory images • Happens in the present • Is objective rather than subjective • Avoids most poetic devices (metaphor, etc.) • Uses punctuation sparingly and seldom is titled • Emphasizes phrases rather than complete sentences: strong nouns and verbs, few adjectives or adverbs Individual haiku frequently ignore one or more of these guidelines. However, if a verse ignores several, it should have extraordinary appeal in other areas, or judges and editors are likely to pass over it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In 12th century Japan, poets, individually or in teams, participated in poetry contests held in the royal courts. Prizes were at times elegant and valuable, so hundreds of poets often competed. The verse they wrote was called Tanka (tän´ka, or "short poem"; also called Waka). A very old form even then, it was based on still more-ancient uta, songs of Japanese mythology. Treasured collections of tanka exist from as far back as the 7th century. The classical tanka contains 31 onji (sound-symbols, the smallest linguistic unit in Japanese poetry). Early translators, assuming that onji correspond to English syllables (they do not), decided that the English equivalent would be a poem of 31 syllables divided into 5 lines of 5-7-5-7-7 syllables. This syllable requirement is still very popular in English tanka, although frequent variations occur. Since we tend to think in accentual-syllabic terms, 5 lines containing 2-3-2-3-3 beats, respectively (regardless of the number of unaccented syllables), is probably closer to the original Japanese intent. However, for teaching purposes, the 31 syllable format is a reliable benchmark, so it is convenient to employ it to begin. Since I have loved you I compare my former thoughts To those I have now, And realize that I then Had no ideas at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpuiman Posted September 3, 2007 Author Share Posted September 3, 2007 (edited) I'll try again......thanks to all the great poets who have given it a go Buffalo is sick My mother needs a kidney I love you jing jing Edited September 3, 2007 by pumpuiman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chavy Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 it's far too early for this sort of thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpuiman Posted September 3, 2007 Author Share Posted September 3, 2007 it's far too early for this sort of thread It's far too early for this sort of thread I think I'll wait until drunk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpuiman Posted September 3, 2007 Author Share Posted September 3, 2007 Wringing my two hands I wait anticipating fiance visa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadiangirl Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 After reading some lovely poetry in another thread, I thought it might be fun to see if we have any other poets here.To keep it simple....lets try Haiku...or Thaiku some may say. Remember the rules.....3 lines...5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables Lets keep it Thai related if possible......but anything goes Here's one to get it started..... sweat beads on my brow my eyes begin to water fingers in som tum I enjoyed your example and tried and found it incredibly hard. Counting syllables is not easy but here is my attempt to keep the ball rolling Thai girl so young please warm my cold dead heart cheaply Let me live my lie Hahahhahahhahaa. Good one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adjan jb Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 A veil of raindrops My shelter is an island Warm solitude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpuiman Posted September 3, 2007 Author Share Posted September 3, 2007 Oh, it takes so long for the fan to swing my way cool for a moment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nongwahyay Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 I sit here content Drinking my milky coffee Sods, must now go work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baabaabobo Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 I sit here and sweat The curry was very hot The bum gun is next Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpuiman Posted September 3, 2007 Author Share Posted September 3, 2007 I sit here and sweatThe curry was very hot The bum gun is next :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adjan jb Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 A veil of raindropsMy shelter is an island Warm solitude Fragant latitude Another night on Thailand Late reverie, hope Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexLah Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 It is raining I stand here waiting You told me you love me, only me.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nongwahyay Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 It is rainingI stand here waiting You told me you love me, only me.... Your 5-7-5 rhythm seems a bit wonky..................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpuiman Posted September 3, 2007 Author Share Posted September 3, 2007 It is rainingI stand here waiting You told me you love me, only me.... Your 5-7-5 rhythm seems a bit wonky..................... But credit given for artistry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tasasc Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Issan farmers your Daughters are in Pattaya Harvesting farang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpuiman Posted September 4, 2007 Author Share Posted September 4, 2007 On the overpass The woman begs with her child feet bare black and cracked Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suegha Posted September 4, 2007 Share Posted September 4, 2007 Issan farmers yourDaughters are in Pattaya Harvesting farang This has to be the best yet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tasasc Posted September 4, 2007 Share Posted September 4, 2007 "Palace shut today" An avuncular tout says. Gem shops await you (Thanks Suegha ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpuiman Posted September 5, 2007 Author Share Posted September 5, 2007 Is it just me or do we all really have a crush on Bambina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suegha Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 Is it just me ordo we all really have a crush on Bambina And why ever not she is a truely gorgeous sexy Thai lady Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suegha Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 "Palace shut today"An avuncular tout says. Gem shops await you (Thanks Suegha ) Another corker! You obviously have a talent for this haiku composition! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulsmithson Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 mooghata khow pad mo arhan thai I love it so. does this qualify? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suegha Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 mooghatakhow pad mo arhan thai I love it so. does this qualify? I don't know, what does it mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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