A man walked into a pub after a long day at work, ordered a pint of

beer, and sat down by the bar to enjoy it. Before long he'd finished

about half his drink and needed to go to the toilet, so off he went.

Whilst he was away a massive black woman standing in the corner walked

up to the bar, picked up the drink, farted into his pint, replaced it,

and walked away again.

When the man came back, he sat down to enjoy his pint again, but after

he'd taken a mouthful he spat it out at once and yelled at the barman,

"Oi, barman, this pint tastes disgusting! What's happened to it?"

"Well, you see that massive black woman over there? She farted into

it."

"What?"

"She farted into it. I didn't want to say anything - she looks like

she could easily knock seven shades of shit out of me - but that's

what she did."

"Right," said the bloke, stressed after a long day, "if you won't say

anything, I will." He got up, went to the massive black woman, and

tapped her on her shoulder. She slowly turned around.

"Yes?"

"Er, did you fart in my Whitbread?"

"No, I'm Tessa Sanderson."

Sorry, this just doesn't work!

Works (slightly) better if you make it more scouse :-

"Ere! You fart in mah Whitbread?"

"No, I'm Tessa Sanderson."

Or maybe not!

Where is the mirth? I want my money back

you need the right accent

did you fart in mah ... (id you fatima ...)

very old joke, but still funny

How about.................................

"Er, did you fart in my Whitbread ?"

"No thanks. I've got my bike outside"

"Er, did you fart in my Whitbread ?"

O.P: "No but I'll get my coat."

"Did you fart in my Whitbread?"

"Yes!"

What gives me a chuckle is the subtitles he puts on the threads. The jokes, not so funny!

But keep them coming!

:D

Edited October 14, 200718 yr by zzdocxx

What gives me a chuckle is the subtitles he puts on the threads. The jokes, not so funny!

But keep them coming!

never read libya's jokes the replies are better

Variation on a theme but I came across this again a few days ago. Originally received it in 2001. Two guys allegedly in Heathrow asking the information desk to announce the following people to come to information, then recording the announcements

Download the attached file and click on the speakers if you want to hear them

Looks Like…Reads Like…Sounds Like…

1) Arheddis Varkenjaab and Aywellbe Fayed

2) Arhevbin Fayed and Bybeiev Rhibodie

3) Aynayda Pizaqvick and Malexa Kriest

4) Awul Dasfilshabeda and Nowaynayda Zheet

5) Makollig Jezvahted and Levdaroum DeBahzted

6) Steelaygot Maowenbach and Tuka Piziniztee

Edited October 14, 200718 yr by fletchthai68