Let's Rewrite This Terrible Website Paragraph

[PeaceBlondie]

Here's your student's paper today, and keep in mind that her boss's name ends in na Ayuttayha:

Since Thailand has had a reputation as land of smile while life goes easy and affordable. That why we, at TLM, vows to preserve this prestige live long and growing with an intention to see Thailand becoming a home and holiday paradise for all families who proudly select Thailand as their long stay holiday destination.

Mind you, that is the main opening paragraph to a website trying to draw expatriates who have millions of baht to invest in a long-stay residence in Thailand. http://www.thailongstay.co.th/home.php

Would you like to grade the paragraph, or rewrite the paragraph?

[livingitlovingit]

Here's your student's paper today, and keep in mind that her boss's name ends in na Ayuttayha:

Since Thailand has had a reputation as land of smile while life goes easy and affordable. That why we, at TLM, vows to preserve this prestige live long and growing with an intention to see Thailand becoming a home and holiday paradise for all families who proudly select Thailand as their long stay holiday destination.

Mind you, that is the main opening paragraph to a website trying to draw expatriates who have millions of baht to invest in a long-stay residence in Thailand. http://www.thailongstay.co.th/home.php

Would you like to grade the paragraph, or rewrite the paragraph?

Hi PB

You bring a smile to my face regarding an subject that I rant about frequently, not least as someone frustrated by working within teaching and media with non-English speaking nationals, who offer me blank stares when I insist on editing and proofing my own work and being a stickler for grammar.

Bless you.

Would a D+/C- be too harsh?

LILI

[samtam]

Hi PB

You bring a smile to my face regarding an subject that I rant about frequently, not least as someone frustrated by working within teaching and media with non-English speaking nationals, who offer me blank stares when I insist on editing and proofing my own work and being a stickler for grammar.

Bless you.

Would a D+/C- be too harsh?

LILI

Would you like to me to proof read your first para?!

But in reference to the Thailand Long Stay blurb, this looks like offering nothing for a lot of money. Well, a 1 year visa (which one?) for about THB70,000 +/-. A real deal?

[Jingthing]

Thailand, the magical land of smiles and luxurious tropical relaxation. Now you and your family can stay in this earthly paradise long term with the caring help of the Thailand Long Stay Company. Enjoy the happy feeling of transferring in your life savings with absolutely no assurance you will ever see your money again or even be able to live in your new holiday home. In Thailand we say mai bpen rai, (it doesn't matter), you are a rich farang.

Edited September 7, 2007 by Jingthing

[livingitlovingit]

Hi PB

You bring a smile to my face regarding an subject that I rant about frequently, not least as someone frustrated by working within teaching and media with non-English speaking nationals, who offer me blank stares when I insist on editing and proofing my own work and being a stickler for grammar.

Bless you.

Would a D+/C- be too harsh?

LILI

Would you like to me to proof read your first para?!

But in reference to the Thailand Long Stay blurb, this looks like offering nothing for a lot of money. Well, a 1 year visa (which one?) for about THB70,000 +/-. A real deal?

Re Would you like to me to proof read your first para?!

Put your handbag down darling and crawl out from inside your colon! LOL. I thought the main thrust of these forums was to connect with others on a friendly and informative basis. Christ! If we blow off everyone who can't spell properly or doesn't proof every single one of their own posts for grammatical correctness, there's not going to be many people left to talk with, is there?

Don't know about you, but I don't have the time or inclination to proof my posts (they're social blurb) – too busy working and living it, loving it, LOL.

PB, my post was only intended as a thank you to you, for bringing a smile to my face today.

[samtam]

Your post certainly brought a smile to mine. So thank you.

[livingitlovingit]

Your post certainly brought a smile to mine. So thank you.

Oh, I aim to please ducks, LOL.

[samtam]

It's nice to be pleased.

[PeaceBlondie]

Be sure that you read the ending of Jingthing's rewrite.

[livingitlovingit]

It's nice to be pleased.

As opposed to being smug.

[samtam]

I shall take Jingthing's advice, and resist anymore. Friday afternoons are slow, aren't they?

I thought his re-write was indeed clever, and amusing.

[livingitlovingit]

I shall take Jingthing's advice, and resist anymore. Friday afternoons are slow, aren't they?

I thought his re-write was indeed clever, and amusing.

Aren't they just.

Duay.

Made me titter Jingthing.

[mrtoad]

Since Thailand has had a reputation as land of smile while life goes easy and affordable. That why we, at TLM, vows to preserve this prestige live long and growing with an intention to see Thailand becoming a home and holiday paradise for all families who proudly select Thailand as their long stay holiday destination.

Thailand good place, you good person have little bit money. We love you very mut and take care long time. We give you nice balcony view, but be careful many people have accident. Not worry, we like your money and very good for you, but we change rule sometime, so not worry necause if you lose everything then you have good karma next life. Up the Junta!

[PeaceBlondie]

Whilst Thailand, aka "The Land of Similies," formerly had a reputation for low cost orgies, we at the Thailand Longtime Mismanaged Corporation would now like to enkorage Icelandics and Scanadnavics to 'purchase' huge houses which we (aka the rich elite) can repossess after we change the laws yet once again, unbeknownst to foreigners who can pronounce triple final consonants thousands of times. Our mantra is "Live long and prosper for a year, after which our general relatives will change the rules yet again, with all the youth at Nana.

[Rhys]

Could someone.. translate this in to Black English.. The Bros know.. Get Down.. Word..