Walter

A scientist named Walter invented a shrinking ray. He tried it on

himself, and it worked. Unfortunately he couldn't reverse the process,

and he was stuck being the size of a normal man's thumb.

He had a loyal lab assistant who worked with him, though, so his

diminutive size didn't affect Walter's work too much. Still, after a

while, Walter began to long for female companionship.

His lab assistant thought up a highly unethical plan. He planned to get

a couple of ladies of the night, shrink them down to Walter's size, and

keep them shrunk until they could figure out a way to reverse the

process.

The lab assistant went to Times Square and tried to get the young

ladies, but it was trickier than it seemed. They were reluctant to

travel all the way to the lab, but the lab assistant offered to double

their usual rate, so they finally agreed.

As soon as they stepped into the lab, the assistant turned on the

shrinking ray. There was a flash of light and a puff of smoke, and when

the air had cleared --- the prostitutes were exactly the same size as

they were before.

"What's the big idea? Eek!"

One of the prostitutes saw Walter scurrying across the floor and

squashed him flat with her shoe. Walter was dead, and the experiment was

ruined.

This was all because the lab assistant forgot what everyone already

knows: You can lead the whores to Walter, but you can't make 'em shrink.