Jul. 31, 2004. 01:00 AM

At least Thai wives not using Veg-O-Matic

We were surprised to learn during our travels that Thailand has, by necessity, become the world centre of penis reattachment surgery.

As Jack Barton wrote in the Bangkok Post: "While not unique to the kingdom, penis severing has been honed in the kingdom to its most devastating effect through a heady mixture of routine infidelity, assertive womanhood and a national cuisine that lends itself to a kitchen full of sharp knives."

Surgeon Surasak Muangsombot says he performed his first reconnection in 1978. Since then, Swedish doctors have performed three such surgeries, the U.S., two (including Wayne Bobbitt), and Australia, one.

But in Thailand, Surasak alone has sewn up 33 cases and oodles more have been reported around the country. And rather than just tossing the offending phallus from the car window à la Lorena Bobbitt, Thai wives show marvellous ingenuity in trying to prevent the offending body part from being reattached.

"They boil them, feed them to ducks, flush them down the toilet, bury them and have even tied them to balloons and let them float away," Surasak said.

Our favourite case, reported a couple of weeks back, involved a 29-year-old farmer who told doctors that he and his wife had fought, she then denied his requests for sex and kicked him when he complained.

Her toenails were so long, he claimed, that she severed his penis.

Surasak advises straying husbands thus: "If you have a mistress, they (wives) will get mad and cut it any time, so make her very happy, always carry a Thermos to put it in and keep the name of a good doctor close by."

Her toenails were so long, he claimed, that she severed his penis.

As good a reason as any to make sure the missus keeps em trimmed...

Her toenails were so long, he claimed, that she severed his penis.

yeh right, maybe in a kill bill movie

Scary

"They boil them, ....

Tom Yam "cock" anyone ??

and a national cuisine that lends itself to a kitchen full of sharp knives."

I do not eat Thai cuisine anymore.

Only plastic knives home,...

But if you keep it in your thermos,wouldn't it make your coffee taste funny?

But if you keep it in your thermos,wouldn't it make your coffee taste funny?

And when reattached, makes the penis taste funny?

Starbucks people, maybe some business opportunities there,...

Can you have a spare one grown for yourself in case yours has been liquidized???

But if you keep it in your thermos,wouldn't it make your coffee taste funny?

And when reattached, makes the penis taste funny?

Starbucks people, maybe some business opportunities there,...

Yea, I bet starbucks never thought of DICK FLAVORED COFFEE, pobly be a good seller in some of their shops cause most of their customers look like q----s [can't say it cause somebody call me a BIGOT]

But if you keep it in your thermos,wouldn't it make your coffee taste funny?

And when reattached, makes the penis taste funny?

Starbucks people, maybe some business opportunities there,...

Yea, I bet starbucks never thought of DICK FLAVORED COFFEE, pobly be a good seller in some of their shops cause most of their customers look like q----s [can't say it cause somebody call me a BIGOT]

Wasn't it ole Jem who gave you that bogot award earler Kev ?

But if you keep it in your thermos,wouldn't it make your coffee taste funny?

And when reattached, makes the penis taste funny?

Starbucks people, maybe some business opportunities there,...

Yea, I bet starbucks never thought of DICK FLAVORED COFFEE, pobly be a good seller in some of their shops cause most of their customers look like q----s [can't say it cause somebody call me a BIGOT]

Wasn't it ole Jem who gave you that bogot award earler Kev ?

I don't really know doc, The way I got my machine set up, It will not show posts by "THOSE PEOPLE"

I once went into a North Korean Restaurant that had ‘Donkey Penis’ on the menu.

Of course I didn’t sample this little savory delight despite the temptation.

I wonder if it would be possible to set up a penis bank, wereby, men killed in accidents could donate their dicks. As with hearts, liver etc. That way, victims of this dastardly deed could choose a new one. Perhaps a different colour or size. Or even pigs might suffice these days, after all, they are experimenting with pigs heart transplants. Just a thought.

I wonder if it would be possible to set up a penis bank, wereby, men killed in accidents could donate their dicks. As with hearts, liver etc. That way, victims of this dastardly deed could choose a new one. Perhaps a different colour or size. Or even pigs might suffice these days, after all, they are experimenting with pigs heart transplants. Just a thought.

I saw 2 blokes on the TV the other day who had had hand transplants...

If they can do that I'm sure they can do cocks !!

I think mine needs renewing, it's looking a bit worn and wrinkly lately. If you hear anything, let me know.

It's clear that the words out.

Been down at the market a short while ago.

Ya can't get a thermos for 'love nor money'

I wonder if it would be possible to set up a penis bank, wereby, men killed in accidents could donate their dicks. As with hearts, liver etc. That way, victims of this dastardly deed could choose a new one. Perhaps a different colour or size. Or even pigs might suffice these days, after all, they are experimenting with pigs heart transplants. Just a thought.

But what have you got in mind for a pig dick transplant,,###### thing looks like an 18" cork screw,,maybe you could use it to open wine bottles.

But what have you got in mind for a pig dick transplant,,###### thing looks like an 18" cork screw,,maybe you could use it to open wine bottles.

Could be a money maker...! TGS ?

Could be,,open a dozen bottles before you had to unscrew the corks off of it..almost like an AK47.

... and have even tied them to balloons and let them float away,...

That would explain why those rolling vendor carts always have a few token balloons attached ...

I wonder if it would be possible to set up a penis bank, wereby, men killed in accidents could donate their dicks. As with hearts, liver etc. That way, victims of this dastardly deed could choose a new one. Perhaps a different colour or size. Or even pigs might suffice these days, after all, they are experimenting with pigs heart transplants. Just a thought.

Will donkeys and horses be permitted to donate ?

I heard about a guy that had a baby elephants trunk sewn on.

Posed to have worked fairly well,cept that it kept snatching biskits off the takle and poking them up the guys ass when ever he sat down to eat.

Coarse some folks would like that I think from what I read.